I know three months is not a long time after losing someone, but I find that most nights, I cannot sleep. Tonight I had a flashback which unsettled me. This aching and longing is so difficult. If I could get a few decent nights sleep I am sure it would help with easing my mind.
I just miss her so much.
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Good morning Malc
I have had more than a few nights with little sleep following the death of my wife in June, some involved what I refer to as a circle, the place may be different but the meaningless or feeling of being powerless was overwhelming and overriding every aspect. Advice i received was to write down as much of the dreams content. This allows the sub conscious to recognize the access or release of the dream, over time the dream diminishes. Usually its a recognition in the mind of all the stress anxiety and related issues. I don’t watch any TV an hour before, I read either comedy or romance novels, yes a man reads romantic escape as it denies the stress and grief of Hollywood influenced content of violence.
Occasionally a 1 sliced lettuce sarnie, as the lettuce has some scientific qualities, to enable sleep. Warm milk, as well.
(Twice in July i thought that Helen had been sat on the end of the bed. )
All the best with the endeavour
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Colin, thank you for replying and some good advice. I can see how writing will help. The tv also, I find the news depressing and all the Christmas adverts, dont watch much really. Thank you for your help.
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I just hope that it helps and a deserved sleep is yours
I found going to bed an hour early helped with the distrupted sleep in the early months. Sleep did eventually settle down, but it took a good while.
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Hi Malc. My best remedy for sleep is to get everything ready that I need to do before settling. Then I read a book until my eyes start to get sleepy and then I can just lie straight down and hopefully sleep. I also put a few drops of Lavender oil on the pillow as it helps to calm the nerves and helps with sleep. (Make sure not to get it in your eyes though) A simple answer but I hope it helps.
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Lovely. Thank you
Thank you, I appreciate your help
Hi Malc - I’m so sorry for your loss. Even time spent in bed relaxing is helpful so don’t worry if it’s not always asleep. My own sleep is finally improving now after several months. I agree with the lavender situation, also exercise earlier in the day and not eating after 6-7pm. I find that meditation helps me enormously - I never thought I would say that but just listening to the Calm app for ten minutes is perfect. Their sleep stories were marvellous when I was really struggling to sleep. (Some of them anyway - very much down to personal choice!) Sending love xx
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I’m here because I’m in same situation of not being able to sleep for many days now since the loss of my dad and friend. I’ve been feeling very low and I keep being anxious and scared each time I remember them. I always feel pain on my chest and sometimes it makes me feel like I’m loosing my breath. I’ve also gone to hospital but I was told I’m fine from the tests carried out. Because I don’t sleep well, I usually wake up feeling very tired and not being able to be productive in the day. Please I’m here to know the best ways to cope with this situation and if possible feel better because it’s affecting my daily life.
Janie
When I lost my mum suddenly last year I went for days without sleep. I saw the doctor who prescribed me 10 sleeping tablets. Enough to get some much needed sleep but not too many to become addicted.
Sleeping tablets dont keep you asleep for hours on end. They enable you to drop off quickly and get 4 or 5 hours restful sleep which will help get you through the day.
In the end I only took 6 of them as my body got back into a routine by then and I recently threw the other four away.
Cheryl
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Thanks Janie. Sorry for your loss
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@C1971 thank you very much but I really can’t have sleep pills now because I’m still breastfeeding my baby who wakes to feed at night. I will sure get over this I just need to give it time.
Of course janie1
I didnt realise
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Hi … I wish I could help you with sleeping. It’s 18 months since my husband died, eight years and three years since our sons died. I haven’t slept at night much for the last three years. I have whole nights of being wide awake often. It’s so frustrating and sooooo lonely and boring! I read, listen to music, write in a journal, watch rubbish on tv, get up and do the ironing etc… sometimes just nothing works. I hope you find a way to get some sleep … lack of sleep makes everything seem worse! Take care, Sue 
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Thank you Sue. It is cruel isnt it? So sorry for your loss too. I think I ll just take each day as it comes and see what is happening as it happens
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Hi
I too have the exact same problem since losing my husband tragically in Sept.
I lay awake night after night feeling anxious and scared
My Dr has eventually prescribed me Mirtazapine 15mg which does appear to be helping me .
Hi I’m so sorry you are facing the same problems … last night I was awake every minute of the night. Just makes everything seem so much worse a d harder to cope with. Hope the Mirtazapine helps you … take care, Sue 
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Last week was a terrible week for me both emotionally and physically .
I have been in turmoil since Sept, I know they say that time is a healer, however at this moment in time all I feel is sadness and loneliness .
I miss my husband / my soul mate so much
All I do is take one day at a time ,
I give myself one task to do each day .
This is all I can right now …
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Hi Tia … thats all II can do for now too. It’s ok nor to be ok sometimes I think. I don’t believe time is a healer. It’s 18 months since my husband died, eight years and three years since my sons died too. I think we have to learn to live around that terrible grief. Some days I think I am doing that others not so much. I have nightmares and don’t sleep much so that doesn’t help! I hope you are doing ok … we can only keep on keeping on I think. Love a d hugs from me, Sue
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