Each to his own … one size doesnt fit all … im just saying it is possible if you want it … god my brother said the old cliche last night … hes not coming back ! I know that but he can still stay in my heart 
nobody can take that away … bloody people and their crap advice ! Why do people always think they know better
? When we are the one who are grieving !!! Winds me up !! X
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I know what you mean. I have a couple of friends who still have their husbands and yet all they do is moan about them! I have a job not to give a sarcastic comment when I hear them. I suppose they mean well. One of them actually admitted that she thought pointing out the irritations in her own marriage might make me feel better in that I don’t have to put up with anything like that! Give me strength! Quite apart from the fact that Tony seldom irritated me and when he did, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be accepted for what it was - a minor irritation and just part of ‘us’ and I am sure there must have been times when I irritated him too.
Another friend said that she was sure I must appreciate the fact that I could do what I liked, when I liked! I asked her if she thought Tony controlled me, and she had no answer to that. (He was the first to encourage me in anything I wanted to do). If people can’t say anything helpful or comforting, why can’t they just shut up?
I had a rather uncharitable thought about them. If some people have so little time for their husbands, why aren’t they the ones who lose them? Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t wish widowhood on anyone but it struck me as unfair that I, absolutely adoring my husband, have to be the one who is left alone. Sorry if that’s out of line!
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I’m beginning to have those thoughts, when I see very old couples I’m pleased for them, but I wanted us to be those old couples, getting old together, I really thought we were going to get old and doddery. It feels unfair, I know it’s just the hand we are given but it’s rubbish!!
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Agree completely
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I think i am going the same way…can totally understand dnt know whats the best way to cope it!
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Ignore it ! Only way i find ! X
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Even i get the same feeling wanted to grow old with him but fate had something else for us…
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Yeh 
but looking at couples doesnt help it just makes you sadder i try to avoid looking xxx
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People might be well meaning (some) but they should think carefully before they speak…and they often times don’t. They have never suffered a partner/marriage loss so how can they even try to give advise??
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Yep my thoughts entirely … people who havent lost a partner in tragic way we did have absolutely no idea how awful it is xx
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Yes, it’s so devastating to one’s life that I think others, in general, just don’t want to get too close to it. They are uncomfortable, as society is, with death, grief and mourning. And, the superficial, often cliché’ way of responding doesn’t help us!
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Nancy123 the amount of people who say now go and start living your life again now you have time to anything you want.plus fed up of people saying you dont have to be alone there plenty of people are in the same boat.i just say if i had to explain it then you wouldnt understand it.folks just come out with the old routine thing like it gets easier with time.i feel worse than ever as i cant see any future xx
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Huh theres plenty of people in same boat but i dont see them apart from on here. Take care martyn2 … not seen you for ages. Xx
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Deb5 hit a rough patch depresion kicked in .plus had my daughter in hospital with pneumonia .still waiting for surgery on my right knee.xx
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Aw … sorry about that martyn. You had it rough then ? Hope your daughter is ok and youre feeling bit better now x
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Deb5 .my daughter is getting better and i,m still struggling with my right below amputation site.but its not going to beat me xx
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Good to hear martyn xx
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