How do we all cope with Valentines day. This will be my first since losing my gorgeous hubby. As well as it being Valentines its the day we started going out 1998. It does my head as it is seeing couples, not even lovey dovey couples, just couples walking together or doing there shopping together. Its so hard seeing all the cards in the shops, all the adverts on the tele. Every year Bri would send me flowers to work. Just wondered if anyone has any ideas.
2 Likes
@Skip - hello my friend, I am so sorry your beloved husband has died - this is so hard for you x I have read lots of posts from our friends on here, worrying about Valentines Day. Lots of us are going to avoid it as far as possible. Others here are thinking of sharing gifts or cards with friends and family members who love them and who have been there for them after their partner died. For me, I know that Tom loves me now and always, just the same. He may not send a card or flowers as before, but even then, it was just one day and a big commercial payday for greeting card companies. Our loved ones love us in every moment of time and for me, that is all that matters. You are going through difficult days, so maybe, next week, buy something or do something as a love gift to you. It will be ok x
4 Likes
Hi Skip
It is so heartbreaking like you say just seeing couples together has such an impact and remids us of the loved one we have lost, my heart goes out to you, but it is only one day and every day your loved one is in your heart and with you always. Hold on to the beautiful memories you have. Why not treat yourself to some flowers and they can also be in memory of your loved one
Sadly i lost mr partner on 22nd January 2023 and heartbreakingly his Celebration of Life is on Valentines Day
Stay strong x
TNT230122
1 Like
We didn’t feel the need for cards or pressies - a nice takeaway was sufficient.
My husband passed on valentines day - so I’m glad it was just another day —crap!!
G. X
1 Like
@Grandma - sending loads and loads of love. Will be thinking of you next week and all our friends on here whose hearts are breaking, broken, shattered into a million pieces. All this, every element of it, is different for all of us. I know Tom loves me always and every minute. But. We all need the person we have lost to come back, to walk in, to say it has all been a terrible mistake. To hold us again in their arms. To feel them with us. Hold on everyone, hold tight xx
4 Likes
I remember saying just after he’d passed :
Whatever I’ve said /not said or done/ not done , I’m sorry, you can come back now I’ve learned my lesson.
Wish it was that easy.
G. X
5 Likes
Thanks everyone. Yeah, your right, its only one day, same as all tgd other s### days. We would normally go out for a curry but havent been able to face one since he passed (can only cope with snacks and soups). Yeah might treat myself to some flowers and take some to the place that he passed.
@TNT230122 did you chose that day for the celebration of your lovely partners life. My thoughts are with you in these tough early days.
@Grandma thats so tough for you. My husband passed on our wedding anniversary, just another crap day eh.
@Vancouver i would do absolutely anything just to have my Bri walk in thru that door again. I, like us all just wish that this has been a huge mistake.
Sending lots of love to us all xx
1 Like
I didnt choose that day, it was the earlest one i could get other than that it would have been the middle of March and i didnt really want to prolong it that long. Its not the ideal day but what day is 
im trying to thi k that at least we will be spending the day together, not perhaps as we would have wanted, but togther nevertheless 
1 Like
It’s horrible, it will be my first Valentine’s Day without my George, it’s awful because of all the adverts and cards and things in the shops, feel like it’s all rubbed in my face.
I hate it 
Sending you lots of love and heeling xx
I shall be spending Valentine’s day with the plumber! - not that there is anything romantic going on between the 2 of us, just that’s the only day he could come to fix my boiler.
Mr Wingingit and I never made a fuss of Valentine’s day - both of the opinion that it was simply a commercial, marketing racket.
We loved each other just as much on the other 364 days of the year.
We’ll survive it folks.
It’s just another day.
One foot in front of the other and onwards and upwards.
Sending virtual hugs to you @Grandma for Tuesday - I know it won’t help one iota, but I shall be thinking of you nevertheless. xxx
3 Likes
Dear Grandma you will be in my thoughts tomorrow xxx
2 Likes
Valentine’s day was not something we used to do, Doug used to buy me flowers all the time. Last year and again today our son have given me a bouquet of flowers for valentine’s day as his dad is not here to do it.
@Grandma I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, anniversaries are always difficult days.
Debbie x
1 Like
I just had a horrible time this afternoon coping with other peoples Valentine gifts to each other and flowers in my face. Felt so down. Had to go to bed this afternoon, was feeling so exhausted by it.
Tomorrow I am going to buy myself the gift my husband would buy for me and it will join the other 22 he bought me from each year we were together.
Let love live forever! X Hugs to all of us X
2 Likes
No ignoring Valentine’s Day here as I had intended to do. My darling, thoughtful, kind hearted daughter with the learning disability made me a card by photocopying the words Richard had written in an old card and sticking them onto a blank card I had made years ago and never used. I can’t tell her it made it worse but have seen it as the loving gesture it was intended to be and her trying to make it OK for me. Bless her.
Can’t stop crying now! 
2 Likes
A lovely gesture from her.
G. X
A big thankyou to all who have sent me thoughts, hugs & messages.
Greatly appreciated.
Thinking of you all today.
G. Xx
5 Likes
Hi Skip, Yes, I know what you mean ‘How do we cope with Valentines Day’ It’s every where and you can’t escape it. Shops, super markets, garages and I can’t put the radio on and listen to all the heartfelt messages of love and togetherness…
I find it really hard as Pete and I were married on Valentines day so am going up to the little church way out in the country where we were married many moons ago and just sit quietly for a while and hope I can connect with Pete in some way… Then meet up with a friend for a cup of tea later on in the day.
Thinking of you all on this day.
Love Jenny x
2 Likes