Anyone else struggling with the thought of Valentines without your beloved? I didn’t expect this to be a big thing but I feel like I’ve taken 10,000 steps back. I lost my darling husband in September 2023 very suddenly. I got through Christmas and new year by the skin of my teeth but I’m really struggling with this. I think it’s a mixture of the six nations and valentines but I can’t stop crying. I feel angry and I never wanted that. I just miss him so much
I’m also struggling with valentine’s - in fact it’s been a disaster since Xmas, found new years hard and now valentine’s
Next month is her birthday
She was drying some roses in the boiler cupboard that I only noticed a few months after she died
Ive cast those in a resin mould as a sort of symbolic gift and will put a valentine’s card and on her headstone with flowers
Guess it makes me feel as if I’m doing something for her and hopefully make it a little easier
Tough one, isn’t it, for me it’s the 14th that I don’t like, she died on the 14th, so I guess for me it will be a sad day everytime, it’s also my sisters birthday, I’ve been asked to go to her house for dinner party, just hope I can get through it.
@Helen24 i have been more upset because we were so loved up and celebrated Valentine’s Day . I think it’s making it worse because I have had so many emails about Valentine’s Day . It’s always going to be hard these times we shared for now . It’s coming up to 9 months and It’s still very hard
Hi all. We didn’t really celebrate Valentine’s day (too commercial) but I’m struggling with it more than I expected to. I feel bombarded with advertising on the tv, social media, emails etc and it just reinforces that for the first time in nearly 40 years my darling husband isn’t here and I’m all alone🥲. Thinking of us all going having to go through this.
Hi @Jan17 we didn’t ever go out for valentine’s we always had a lovely meal at home and he always spoilt me. Don’t get me wrong we were very much in love and didn’t need one day to prove it. I just think it’s because I think of couples and love and just miss that. Also Steve was a huge rugby fan so I think it’s a mixture of both. Sending a hug to you all.
@Helen24 yes we were much the same. Would maybe have a nice meal & bottle of wine but not buy into the one day of the year stuff. It’s just hard seeing so much aimed at couples. Having the rugby just now must be making it doubly hard for you. Sending hugs.
Hi mine is coming up for 4 months so still very raw. I don’t know but I didn’t expect to be struggling this much. Not sure who I’m kidding. On a lovely note though I’ve had 5 lovely visits this morning as I’m crying looking out of my kitchen window
hi all. Haven’t been on for a while and I think I was doing ok but Valentines day! I’ll take a card and flowers to the grave. It’s the first without her since 1979. and to add to the mess I’m in I think I’m getting that widows fire thing. so on top of missing her so much and being 10 months in to this on Saturday , AND having a family 60th birthday on Wednesday that Janine would have been right in the middle of celebrating, I’m getting guilt over salacious thoughts too. This isn’t going to be an easy day at all for me. good luck everyone. We can all just do our best.
We sometimes went out for a meal, but we always did cards. Im just trying to avoid it all this year. There is just too much. Even my hubbys funeral flowers were affected because the price of roses was going up ahead of Valentines Day!
My wife and I would exchange cards and cook a nice dinner and spend the evening as most couples do …… last year she was working on a top secret project and made me a mosaic heart which means the world to me as she had all the Parkinson’s symptoms including poor fine motor skills! Our friend said she spent spent around 8 hours with her while she was making it -
Tomorrow I’m going to buy some red roses and stay home and think of her !
The close friends and family that know about her have been tactful and supportive and others should celebrate with their loved ones because we all know how life can give us such unexpected surprises.
Please look after yourselves tomorrow and get through it in your own way, we’re all struggling to deal with our emotions here and it’s great that it’s such a supportive community.
I know how you feel I lost my husband September 23 and Ive been in a rollercoster ride ever since. Like you the rugby is a huge reminder of my loss he lived to watch it its not just the rugby all kinds of tv programmes hold fond memories so much so I cant watch them. Valetines day is just reminding me that Im no longer half of a couple and I feel more alone everyday
Tomorrow is not just Valentines day but to me, as an engineer, my mind is tunes to numbers and keeps reminding me that tomorrow is three months to the day since she slipped away from me … shaking off those memories / associations is soooooooooo hard.
Yeh i saw rugby other night and thought … my husband wouldve been watching that ! X
My hubby and his family lived for rugby and he was so passionate about it. In the night he passed we were on holiday. I was in our room getting ready and he went down to the bar to watch the first half. I went to the bar and all I could hear was him shouting at the screen. He was gone 2 hours later
Omg how awful for you ? Was it a heart attack xx
My darling man proposed to me completely out of the blue one Valentines Day after we’d been together a fair few years. It was always a significant day for us after that and l know this first one without him is going to be hard. Almost 11 months now since he died and l miss him more than ever
My partner wasn’t a great believer in all that slushy stuff he used to say why do I need one day to show you a I love you :(( he used to tell me everyday… I used to cook us a three course meal… today I’m doing the same but my lovely grandson is joining me he is 11 bless him and I’m going to buy myself some red roses and put all our valentines cards out that I saved over the years… I miss our cuddles :((
That’s a beautiful thing to do we are all in the same boat be strong and it’s another day tomorrow x
Take care all - be kind to yourselves and remember that our loved ones are always in our hearts and minds … its going to be a tough one but do the best you can
BE KIND TO YOURSELF