Yeh its so very hard without them 
im making friends gradually but hes still there in my heart and my go to person when life gets tough … i talk to him all the time or write to him in my journal … such a hard road … we don’t deserve this do we ? xxx
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Got to say how true only been 8 weeks some times cry my self to sleep xx
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No we don’t deserve it I never thought I would be left on my own xx
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So very true , it’s heartbreaking how these dates mean so much to us now . The date they died is etched on our hearts . …Do you think the loss of a partner makes us have more empathy to others . Also I think we know now not to take things for granted . To late for our partners , I wish I had told my husband more that I loved him , and how much he ment to me . I know he knew , but I should of said it more to him x
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Hi @Broken2222
Yes i wish i’d said it more too.
He knew i loved him just wish id said it more.
Still we thought we had 20+ more years together. Time to do more travel retire spending the rest of our lives together and now now doing these things on my own hold no pleasure
Take care
Lynne 
x
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I do think it makes us have more empathy for others .its by far the worse thing that has ever happened to me .I lost my dad 3 years ago and that was really hard and now I know how my mum felt x
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@Broken2222 yeah that’s irony, you know now what you took for granted, but it’s too late
I also have many regrets - I wish I’d done more for her, been gentler and let her smell the roses a bit more in that last year, instead of having tunnel vision on finding an answer and treatment for the cancer.
I never considered what if I can’t and these are her last months
Wisdom of hindsight
Until you’ve been through this, you can have sympathy for someone losing a partner, but definitely not empathy.
You can’t fathom, until it happens, what it’s like
I even find myself having retrospective empathy for people I’ve known in the past who have lost a partner - I was sympathetic at the time, but couldn’t fully appreciate what they were going through until now
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Yes I understand that regret. I wish my husband had never had the treatment , the pain he was in through the treatment and all for nothing . But of course we do what we think we need to do . Thought there was a cure out there, we fought for their lives. The sad thing is my husband was so thankful for all the treatment he had he was sure he was going to beat the cancer . Everything you did for your partner was out of pure love for her , I’m sure if you hadn’t done those things , you would now be regretting not trying hard enough . We know we can’t ever win with our thoughts and regrets . It’s our cross to bare as they say .x
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Yes , I thought we still had years , and become the old couple , then both die together , seems like a stupid fairy tale now . X
My mam died when she was 59, same age my husband died . I understood my pain in losing my mam , but never understood how very hard / devastating it must of been for my dad . He lived till he was 82 , I just hope history doesn’t repeat itself and I have to live a long lonely life without my husband x
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Felt a bit odd going out yesterday with friends and sue not coming with me especially as it was our 8th wedding anniversary.my daughter aderlaide informed me that sue wouldn’t want me to be stuck in doors
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My mum is 91 I’m 67 so I hope I don’t go on for that long without Steve
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Martyn I’m sure your daughter was right . Sue would want you to take any invitations out you can get . She will always be with you in your heart . We need to grab any part of life we can . I’m good at giving advice but not of taking my own lol. x
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Hi @ Pam14
My mum is 87 has dementia but otherwise healthy and i’m 66 and my husband was 63
Has been 8 months. I miss his lots and the thought of another 20+ years on my own is heartbreaking 
Take care
Lynne x
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Hi my husband was 66 and pasted 23 October last year I miss him terribly x
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My wife was 68 I’m 64 she died on the 14th of December, I miss her all the time, she was also called Pam, every day is a struggle, I’ll find the strength to go on for the sake of her sons and a grand son as well as my own son and daughter, it’s what she asked me to do, as much as I’m hurting, I will find away 
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Hi @blighty5531 @ Pam14
We are all missing our loved ones especially now weekends are oh so long and hard when on your own.
Sending you hugs and strength to get though our times ahead.
Take care Lynne
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My husband was 53 and I am nearly 57. I hate the fact that I could be saying I lost my husband nearly 30 years ago. The same amount of time we were together. I try though to live day by day and not look into the future as too painful xx
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Yeh day by day hazel. That’s best we can do tbh because even though I’m 14 months into this my emotions are still up and down xx
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Broken2222 you were right it did me good to get out last night. Made it even more special as the band dedicated a couple of our favourite songs as well
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