Since Theresa,s funeral In March I have visited her resting place every Sunday and on her birthday in July.
I met a friend’s wife,( my friend passed away 2 years ago) last night, she hadn’t heard that Theresa had passed away and was saying she understood what I’m going through. I told her I go to the cemetery every Sunday, she politely said that by doing that I might find it hard moving forward. I think I will know myself when to cut my visits. Does anyone else go as much. I also have a friend who visits his wife’s resting place almost every day
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Once a week doesn’t seem "too much” to me… Everyone should do what they feel is right, if once a week works for you, that’s perfectly fine.
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I think I’d go every day well I know I would,but I have her ashes at home with me,when I go we all go together in my family grave
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@Alex9 I have a “shrine” on my mantle piece. (ashes) I visit every day. If the visits sooth you, they are what to do. Cindy 
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Hi Alex, you visit as much as you want, whatever gives you comfort ..I have only gone to the cemetery once , on his birthday in July. Its weird, I loved my husband dearly, but im not drawn to visiting the cemetery , my daughter has visited more often as she lives closer to the cemetery, does that make me an uncaring person??.
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I go only once in a while because it’s far away. I got messed up one time due to my app not working on the way home and ended up near the capital driving around.
It’s a beautiful spot, trees and birdhouses. He made birdhouses so I knew immediately it was the right place when I bought the plot. He was the first one in the new vet section, too, which I knew he would like.
They’re not there, just their body, is my belief so it’s okay whatever you do.
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Hi Lightmary. You will never come across as an uncaring person on here.
The cemetery is a ten minute drive from where I live and it gets me out of my house for an hour. I have a few friends who are buried there as well along with Theresa,s sister who I also go and say a few words to.
Everyone has different ways of dealing with things. .
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Hi Alex, thank you for saying that..
Hi Alex I visit the cemetery everyday I walk past sometimes it’s everyday sometimes I miss a few days if walk somewhere else. Though I don’t feel my wife is there I cry every time I go but I often cry just looking at a photo of her. There is no right amount of times. What ever feels right for you is the appropriate amount
Wishing you all the best Tom
Sorry for your loss, when my mum died over 20 years ago I visited the cemetery every week for about a year. My partner died 10 months ago and I visit every 2-3 weeks. I’d go more often but the bus service is poor and I don’t drive. I’m reliant on getting a lift or sometimes I take a taxi and walk back.
Personally I don’t think it stops you moving forward, whatever that is. It’s a way to honour the deceased person. Everyone is different and you should do what you find comfortable yourself. I’ve only just found out that some evangelical Christians don’t visit graves at all. Now that is double weird to me. Take care.
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Hi Alex,it’s 8 months since I lost Jackie and I go to church yard every week twice a week with flowers and to talk to her and her parents who are in the same churchyard ,so keep going as long as feels wright Alex ,I get great comfort from talking to my Jackie every week.and im sure you do on your visits. Regards Dave
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Thanks Dave. I will keep going on a Sunday and any other day I feel like going.
I know it’s not for everyone . As I said I have a friend who visits his wives grave nearly everyday, he told me that their is a piper who plays on New Years day at the cemetery, I would imagine that would be a very emotional day. Take care everyone
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I also go every Sunday and have been for the last 18 months. Last year I’d also go on the Saturday but dropped that when I was doing something with my son which clashed. During the hot weather I’ve been going more regularly to water the tree and flowers growing on her grave (it’s a green burial ground). It brings me comfort and as long as it does I’ll keep going.
I think it’s funny how much unsolicited advice I’ve had since my wife died, all of it well-meaning, but none of it helpful. We move at our own pace.
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I agree w/ you. I have gotten unsolicited advice, too, and none of which has helped. Yes. Unless you’ve been through this there is such a disconnection as to what a person actually goes through after losing their partner. And, its very individual, what helps one will not help another.
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