Thank you John, I think I’ve managed to upload my photo, not very good with technology!
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Hi Muldool,
Now I know what you look like,you look lovely,happy and relaxed.I might try but I had quite a severe stroke and haven’t fully recovered so much has to be re-learnt and learning new things is difficult.
I have always loved animals,Malcolm too…Malcolm was very caring and kind with a wry sense of humour.He never had a temper,I have but there has to be sufficient reason for mine and I can be calm and controlled.I cannot bear injustice and will stand up for vulnerable people and animals.
Malcolm was non confrontational and a few people hurt him badly and he wouldn’t defend himself.I was very protective of him.He would have moved Heaven and Earth for me.
I don’t think anyone can ever hope to find that type of bond again.
I know many people find love again but I wouldn’t ever want to ,maybe if I had been a lot younger and in better health but for me it would only be companionship.I just wouldn’t want to replace the man I loved for most of my adult life.
Having just said that,I’m choked.
I understand why you got another dog it is another love in your life and gives you a purpose.
I hope you are ok Muldool,it is nice to see what you look like.xx
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Muldool,
Yes, you did. Take care, john
Hi Muldool, I hope you don’t mind me mentioning that I noticed that you said you lived in Northern Ireland. I’m from Bangor. I’ve tried searching for local support groups too but couldn’t seem to find anything which is a shame. It’s great that there are online forums like this one but sometimes I think it would be good to meet people face to face too. X
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Hi Amanda, I live close to Kircubbin so not to far away, I’m actually having my counselling at Bangor hospital.
If you are interested, I think you can private message me on here and maybe we could have a chat sometime or possibly meet for a coffee, it would be lovely to have someone who really understands nearby.
Muldool
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When people see us walking around they assume we are fine. I walked Smudge this morning and cried my way around the streets. I cry every day. I miss H. I want him back. I pretend I am okay because people don’t want to hear how sad I am and how my life has suddenly changed. My neighbour asked how I was and I said not good. He asked why. I was rude and said work it out. I have realised unless it happens to you you don’t understand. Why should you. I am so grateful for this site I don’t know how I would cope without it. I am dripping in a cold and feeling sorry for myself. Everything seems so much worse when I’ll. I feel scared and have no confidence. Hugs to all x
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Aw…, Nel I really feel for you and do know how you are feeling. I walk my dogs every morning and often cry a lot as its something Pete and I always used to do together.
It’s been 20 weeks for me and I do get the impression that people are fed up listening to me, it’s horrible because we lost so much and you are completely right, if people haven’t been in this position they just don’t understand how much and how deeply it hurts.
Also not feeling well adds too our pain, and I often feel like screaming.
I talk to my dogs and I can see they miss Pete too, often when I’m really upset they come and put their heads in my lap as if to comfort me.
Hugs are something I miss terribly and I’m sending you a big one now.
Hope you feel better soon x
Muldool
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Hi Vancouver
Yes you have said how it is . It’s been 4 months since I lost my fiance and my heart died with him . I’ve lost my umph my love and excitement for life has gone
I’m am so sorry for your loss . It’s so sad to hear other people feeling pain like you are feeling .how grief grabs you in its arms and squeezes the life out of you …
. Each day is an effort but know I must try to carry on as my family need me . And I know and want the day I can love life again and thrive on the memories of the man that loved me so much and I loved him . And be able to smile at the thoughts of having the pleasure of him in my life . And I hope this for you too Vancouver and that your pain will ease eventually.
Amanda
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Amanda12,
I am sorry for your loss. I understand the comment as much as anyone can truly understand someone else’s pain. I truly feel that I died when my loving wife died March 13 2021. I am a shell of the person I was, there is no joy or pleasure anymore and I am not sure there ever will be again for me. I am sorry to say it that way but I write what I feel because that has been somewhat helpful for me. Take care, John
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@Amanda12 - I am so sorry that your fiance has died - this is so hard for you. We are both searching for the calm after the storm, for sure. I just bumble along each day now, doing what I hope is my best - energy scraped from the bottom of the tank. I continue to struggle to sort out problems arising from my husband’s death - like trying to rescue and sell his business. Not out of the woods on that by any means. It is hard. Let’s hope today, a new day, this Saturday, will bring moments - if only just one - of joy and relief from grief’s grip. Take care, my friend. x
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How are you doing Vancouver?xx