It has to be a male thing. Anyway coffee pods gone to two very nice gentlemen and gloves going to neighbour. It is upsetting though and makes you miss them even more
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I have a new toilet seat and 2 washing lines in the garage. I’m pleased in a way though. I haven’t had to buy any washing pods or toilet cleaner. All saves money. x
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Yes this rings true.
It will be two years since my wife died come January. Without doubt this second year has been much harder. It has steadily got more difficult to cope to the point where I am struggling to function. Essentially I am in a survival mode of existence. Just me and grief.
It’s very tough.
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Oh dear … you are suffering arent you 
have you had any bereavment counselling. I know its very tough … its 10 months since my husband passed and im not doing very well either. Ive had bereavment counselling but its still so very tough without them . I should have gone with him really xx
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Been to my Solicitor today to draw up a new Will. So, that’s sent me back into the black hole of despair. I do wonder why I have to be still here.
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I’m struggling with being a “single parent “ now , my two sons are grown up but chalk and cheese. The eldest was with me on the day my husband died so he has a different experience to the youngest who wasn’t there. They now have different opinions on what I should do with finances and headstone for example. I appreciate they have lost their Dad and are also grieving but I feel like piggy in the middle 
.
They wouldn’t have questioned their Dad if it had been me that went, they would have gone with his decisions.
Just wish he was here to help me navigate this new life I have to find 
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@Sam25. I am sorry you find yourself in this situation, but I think you should decide and say whatever you want, it’s your life now, especially with finances. You will have to be really strong and not be piggy in the middle.
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You do what YOU want ! He was your husband ! Flipping families - drive me mad they do with all their petty squabbles xx
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I know what you mean. My husband’s two older brothers don’t talk and haven’t for many years. In a way I am quite glad only one of them could turn up for the funeral. The other one watched on line. At least neither of them tried to interfere. In fact both offered me money if I needed it.
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Yes it does with other things i found like new fishing equipment i cried because he never got to use them. Only just retired after working from 15. This disease is evil
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Hi @Andrea9
Yes me too found new power tools he had still in garage he never got to use them he passed away suddenly no illness except high blood pressure not sure what happened but heart stopped and now surviving without him is so hard but it is now my new life.
Life is tough
Take care x
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Well I doubt if I will find many power tools once I get to the garage. Next task is to sell a reading lamp that has been sitting unused in spare bedroom for well over a year and a footstool which is the same. Also a Kenwood chef which is too heavy for me to lift. Every where I look. The other thing I have is a whole load of those things you put in toilet cistern but no clue how to get the top off. One of those dual flush things so doesn’t just lift. Haven’t found right internet post yet. Now it is nearly dark so time to shut out the world and feel even more lonely. Keep well everyone.
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Hi @Galaxy75 . Well it may be dark here but not raining yet. Garden waste collection tomorrow. As my bin is out one of my neighbours must have used it as my garden is a complete mess. Due to rain overnight and tomorrow. Xx. Sandra
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Hi Deb5, yes I have been fortunate to have counselling. It has been and remains a great help. But whatever I always come back to the stark fact that I am now in the wrong world: The one where my love no longer is. I absolutely understand what you say.
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Aw … thats really sad but i know what you mean. It is very tough. Do you have any pets because that really helps and also help you make friends with people. Do you have family you can turn to ? Keep talking on here. We all understand you know … i had a meltdown today. Id just had enough but talked to my daughter and felt better x
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I have two cats, brother and sister. They were our cats. I love them dearly but do have mixed feelings about them. They are some comfort. Yes I have my family. They are some support. But family relationships can be tricky and convoluted; mine is one of those. My wife’s sisters have and continue to be very supportive which is good. But as this year has wore on I have felt increasingly disconnected and numb to this world.
Funnily enough I spoke to my daughter this evening. Of course she asked how I was. I just said I was feeling rather tired at the moment. I do not want to burden her with the true extent of my grief.
I’m very good at masking how I feel. But it is exhausting.
It’s raining. I find the sound relaxing so hopefully it will help me to get some rest tonight.
Best wishes Deb5.
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I know what you mean about masking feelings. My partner’s niece and her husband were visiting earlier in the week. Before they came I’d been feeling rubbish and really didn’t think I was going to be able to ‘pull it together’ - but the next thing I knew we were sitting in the pub for lunch and I was telling them all the stupid things customers had been doing at the shop and we were laughing about it. But deep down, the only way I can describe it is that I felt a complete fraud!
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No you werent a fraud . You just got distracted from your grief for a while xxx
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