I’m so happy for you that your daughter is able to talk to you about her dad, I think it must help both of you. I just feel that my husband has almost been forgotten by everybody except me and that’s heartbreaking when he was such a good man.
I share your feelings about having given up on life and that can’t be good for either of us or the many others on this site that feel the same way, take care.
I try to tell people that i can feel totally and utterly alone in a room full of people, if that makes sense. Few really understand.
I feel that i have lost half of me now my wife has gone. Spending all your time with someone who just gets you and knows how you are doing without having to ask. These things are great when they are alive, but utterly heartbreaking when you are the one left behind to survive a living hell.
I know she has gone and i will not see her again in this life, but the pain of missing her, expecially in the quiet times, is pretty unbearable.
I know you guys will get this.
The trouble is that I can see my husband wearing the things that I’m putting ready for the charity shop and that causes more pain, same for you I’m sure. I’ve actually taken some other things to a different locality as I can’t imagine what would happen if I saw anybody wearing something that belonged to my husband. The first few things I took I was so upset that I got back into the car and reversed into the car behind me, the first accident I’d ever had. Luckily no damage and the driver was very understanding as was the local police volunteer who saw the whole thing. My daughter in law tells me I should put things on ebay but the last thing I want is to make a profit, she doesn’t understand that.
I have not yet started to clear out my wife’s clothes. I am not sure i am strong enough to do it at the moment.
I could not ebay anything either, as i would feel bad making a profit. It is not about money for me, i would rather have her back.
People don’t get how hard it us to deal with losing a partner, and it is not something i would wish on anybody. I have never known pain and anguish like it.
I think for me the real reason I’ve moved a minimal amount of Martins things is because he might want them. I know where he is and I know he isn’t coming home but if i really accept that I think i will lose the plot. It doesn’t make sense to anyone not even me. That’s how I feel like he’s just gone out that’s the only way I make it through the day.
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I agree, I have never known pain like it and I will never feel such pain again. I know that
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Hi jacrobthorn
I totally get what you said.
I have exactly the same thoughts.
Half of me is missing too.Its hard to function properly now.
I miss my wife so much and knowing I will never see her again is a nightmare
These long dark nights are very lonely.
Roll on spring!!
So very difficult for all of us, will we ever feel any easier? In a lot of ways I don’t want to feel better as that seems I might be forgetting the enormous loss of such a dear manwho i loved so much.
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Yes i get what you mean, it’s like a betrayal of your partner to not feel this pain.
It is sad, but i suppose it is just another facet to the grief we all feel.
I cannot really explain how i am feeling to others, as they would not understand.
Currently i am angry because my wife’s own brother decided he wanted to go to work rather than honour his sister at her funeral, and her son, my stepson, has shown no emotion, had nothing to do with the planning of her funeral, showed no real desire to come and visit her in her final days and has seemed totally non-plussed by the whole thing. My wife always tried her hardest to keep in touch, and she did not deserve this from people who should have done more in her memory. I feel incredibly sad at what i feel is a lack of respect to such a fabulous woman.
Morning Cee64. I did clear out Phil’s stuff within 6 months as I found it too painful to look at it knowing he was t going to wear any of it again. My son took a lot of his stuff as they were very similar in height and stature, so seeing him wearing his Dads coats etc is a pleasant reminder. I kept some tops and jumpers that I wear myself for comfort - like the hugs I miss so much.
Although we’re all going through the same thing on here there are so many different ways we all manage to cope and so many other problems and concerns that we have to deal with.
Your brother in law and stepson seem very cruel but maybe they just aren’t very strong and couldn’t cope with it all. I would be angry too I know I would but the anger only upsets you. I think maybe your wife might want you to think only of yourself right now and try to forget about these two for now. But what do I know? I’ve cut off 2 people who hurt me a great deal after my husband passed away and quite frankly I don’t ever want to hear from them again so I do understand your anger.
I would try to take your time before telling them how you feel, they are such close relatives and maybe sometime down the line you might want to keep in touch with them even though that seems unlikely right now.
A day at a time… Best wishes to you.
Thank you knspol,
I am trying not to do anything whilst i am angry, and now would not be the best time to act on that anger.
I came home and spoke to my wife, and apologised to her about their behaviour.
I know i did everything i could for Jacquie, before and after her death. I know that whatever happens i can hold my head up high. Their consciences are for them to feel guilty over. I am carrying to much baggage currently to carry theirs as well.
I need to get myself through this horrible period and am struggling to do that currently.
Sad that you should fall out with people too. It is a time when you would hope everyone would be pulling together, not pulling apart.
Take care, and best wishes to you too.
My husband passed almost 18 months ago now. My first anniversary without him was eased by my grandchildren coming to visit me with our daughter. However this May 31st will be our golden anniversary and I’m dreading it. He wanted a big party but I gave him that at the wake. I can only sit here with my memories of the 48 years we were married. I thought of going away, but I’ll feel the same wherever I am.
Hi Retired2
I can’t imagine the pain of losing someone after 48 years. My heart goes out to you really. It will be 20 years for me in March, and i am going to visit my brother in Scotland, as i don’t want to be on my own for the aniversary day. I know it will still hurt however.
I have no advice, just sending you a lot of love. What advice could i possibly give.
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