I’m so happy for you that your daughter is able to talk to you about her dad, I think it must help both of you. I just feel that my husband has almost been forgotten by everybody except me and that’s heartbreaking when he was such a good man.
I share your feelings about having given up on life and that can’t be good for either of us or the many others on this site that feel the same way, take care.
I try to tell people that i can feel totally and utterly alone in a room full of people, if that makes sense. Few really understand.
I feel that i have lost half of me now my wife has gone. Spending all your time with someone who just gets you and knows how you are doing without having to ask. These things are great when they are alive, but utterly heartbreaking when you are the one left behind to survive a living hell.
I know she has gone and i will not see her again in this life, but the pain of missing her, expecially in the quiet times, is pretty unbearable.
I know you guys will get this.
The trouble is that I can see my husband wearing the things that I’m putting ready for the charity shop and that causes more pain, same for you I’m sure. I’ve actually taken some other things to a different locality as I can’t imagine what would happen if I saw anybody wearing something that belonged to my husband. The first few things I took I was so upset that I got back into the car and reversed into the car behind me, the first accident I’d ever had. Luckily no damage and the driver was very understanding as was the local police volunteer who saw the whole thing. My daughter in law tells me I should put things on ebay but the last thing I want is to make a profit, she doesn’t understand that.
I have not yet started to clear out my wife’s clothes. I am not sure i am strong enough to do it at the moment.
I could not ebay anything either, as i would feel bad making a profit. It is not about money for me, i would rather have her back.
People don’t get how hard it us to deal with losing a partner, and it is not something i would wish on anybody. I have never known pain and anguish like it.
I think for me the real reason I’ve moved a minimal amount of Martins things is because he might want them. I know where he is and I know he isn’t coming home but if i really accept that I think i will lose the plot. It doesn’t make sense to anyone not even me. That’s how I feel like he’s just gone out that’s the only way I make it through the day.
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I agree, I have never known pain like it and I will never feel such pain again. I know that
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Hi jacrobthorn
I totally get what you said.
I have exactly the same thoughts.
Half of me is missing too.Its hard to function properly now.
I miss my wife so much and knowing I will never see her again is a nightmare
These long dark nights are very lonely.
Roll on spring!!
So very difficult for all of us, will we ever feel any easier? In a lot of ways I don’t want to feel better as that seems I might be forgetting the enormous loss of such a dear manwho i loved so much.
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Yes i get what you mean, it’s like a betrayal of your partner to not feel this pain.
It is sad, but i suppose it is just another facet to the grief we all feel.
I cannot really explain how i am feeling to others, as they would not understand.
Currently i am angry because my wife’s own brother decided he wanted to go to work rather than honour his sister at her funeral, and her son, my stepson, has shown no emotion, had nothing to do with the planning of her funeral, showed no real desire to come and visit her in her final days and has seemed totally non-plussed by the whole thing. My wife always tried her hardest to keep in touch, and she did not deserve this from people who should have done more in her memory. I feel incredibly sad at what i feel is a lack of respect to such a fabulous woman.
Morning Cee64. I did clear out Phil’s stuff within 6 months as I found it too painful to look at it knowing he was t going to wear any of it again. My son took a lot of his stuff as they were very similar in height and stature, so seeing him wearing his Dads coats etc is a pleasant reminder. I kept some tops and jumpers that I wear myself for comfort - like the hugs I miss so much.
Although we’re all going through the same thing on here there are so many different ways we all manage to cope and so many other problems and concerns that we have to deal with.
Your brother in law and stepson seem very cruel but maybe they just aren’t very strong and couldn’t cope with it all. I would be angry too I know I would but the anger only upsets you. I think maybe your wife might want you to think only of yourself right now and try to forget about these two for now. But what do I know? I’ve cut off 2 people who hurt me a great deal after my husband passed away and quite frankly I don’t ever want to hear from them again so I do understand your anger.
I would try to take your time before telling them how you feel, they are such close relatives and maybe sometime down the line you might want to keep in touch with them even though that seems unlikely right now.
A day at a time… Best wishes to you.
Thank you knspol,
I am trying not to do anything whilst i am angry, and now would not be the best time to act on that anger.
I came home and spoke to my wife, and apologised to her about their behaviour.
I know i did everything i could for Jacquie, before and after her death. I know that whatever happens i can hold my head up high. Their consciences are for them to feel guilty over. I am carrying to much baggage currently to carry theirs as well.
I need to get myself through this horrible period and am struggling to do that currently.
Sad that you should fall out with people too. It is a time when you would hope everyone would be pulling together, not pulling apart.
Take care, and best wishes to you too.
My husband passed almost 18 months ago now. My first anniversary without him was eased by my grandchildren coming to visit me with our daughter. However this May 31st will be our golden anniversary and I’m dreading it. He wanted a big party but I gave him that at the wake. I can only sit here with my memories of the 48 years we were married. I thought of going away, but I’ll feel the same wherever I am.
Hi Retired2
I can’t imagine the pain of losing someone after 48 years. My heart goes out to you really. It will be 20 years for me in March, and i am going to visit my brother in Scotland, as i don’t want to be on my own for the aniversary day. I know it will still hurt however.
I have no advice, just sending you a lot of love. What advice could i possibly give.
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Hi all .it would have been our 9th wedding anniversary today.I lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue 2 years ago on the 1st February.i feel so lost without her and it feels worse this time.I keep thinking why hasn’t sue rung from the hospital and then it hits me with a vengeance. We had been together for 24 years
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Its horrible isn’t it, especially when we’ve spent so many years with our partners.
Its like half of you is missing and you don’t know what to do anymore.
I feel like ive fallen into a deep dark hole with an endless bottom.
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Exactly Poppet
I had been with my wife for 55 years and definitely agree. Half of me has also gone. I feel lost. It has been 14 weeks and I feel worse than ever so lonely. We had hardly been apart in all that time. Part of me is looking for her all the time , then the dreadful truth appears and makes it even worse . At times it seems unbearable. But what can you do.
I think people expect you to be getting over your loss by now but I can’t see that ever happening.
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My husband and I were married for almost 52 years and now two and a half years later the loss is worse than ever. It seems every time I think things are getting easier then they get worse. At the moment several things in the house have gone wrong and even after workmen’s visits two of them are still going wrong, one thing still not working and another is leaking like mad. These are things that wouldn’t have bothered me when my husband was alive, he would either have sorted them himself or made sure the workmen did the job properly. I just feel I’m fighting a losing battle and getting nowhere.
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Bless you all.
I feel exactly the same.
2 years 6 months today for me.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE ???
The missing, the loneliness, the sadness, the disbelief, the refusal to accept it’s true…
It’s all just a million times harder.
I actually feel like I lost ALL of me
I’m not the same person anymore.
I know lots of you feel the same.
Time is no healer… It’s a constant reminder that we’re missing the most special person, to us, and it’s just so heartbreaking every single day 
Love, hugs and strength to you all
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For the most part of our marriage he was in the army so I was used to him being away for months on end, after 24 years he retired and for the last two years it was just us (the children were grown up by now).
We bought our forever home 2 years and had so many plans and dreams and now there gone.
I could of had another 30 or 40 more years but now im alone in our house.
I used to worry about him not coming home from a 6 months tour. I never thought that he would end up dying of cancer at the age of 50.