Hi Poppet1973
That is heartbreaking. Just when you thought you’d have a great time together it gets snatched away.
It is hard to come to terms with the sudden loss of a partner. I don’t just want the memories, but it will be all i have to survive with. It hurts that she won’t be able to share any future memories with me. I sort of feel that i don’t want to move on because i will feel guilty creating memories she is not a part of, if you know what i mean.
My husband passed away on the operating table. He’d been increasingly ill for around the previous 2 yrs, had put up with so much, so many problems and never a complaint. He was really looking forward to having a bypass operation and thinking it would give him a new lease of life but very sadly that didn’t happen. Such a shock.
Yes i certainly know what you mean.
We had planned to go to America for a holiday in a few years time, our son asked if I was still going but I told him that there was no point going without his dad as it was our dream.
Hi knspol
Yes my wife had a long running liver disease, snd was due to have a liver transplant, but like your husband, she never made it. She too, suffered in silence much of the time, but would always smile through it. Heroes the pair of them really.
I never knew how hard gruef can hit you. It feels like i have been hit by a train.
I know she would want me to get on, but currently i am struggling to do so.
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Funny, my wife still had Las Vegas and another trip to New York on her bucket list, but something always got in the way of us going.
Would have loved to have taken her. Not sure i would want to go now without her.
I can’t bring myself to clear any of my husbands things. Clothes all still in the same place, his jumper he wore to walk the dog still on the radiator where he left it. You must have great strength to have sorted your husbands clothes x
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So many of us on here know exactly how you’re feeling. Take care of yourself, so many people tell me it will get better so I live in hope.
So true when you say it alters how you fit into things. I’m going to a school concert with family tonight but I just hate going anywhere without my dear husband, I feel I don’t have anything to say or contribute to anything anymore, just feel like a spare part wherever I go.
Its been 16 weeks tomorrow since I lost my beloved husband, and everything is still in its place, even his toothbrush is still in the bathroom, his coats and shoes are in the porch and all his clothes are hanging in the wardrobe and drawers.
I still have a lot of my husbands things around especially his slippers at the side of the bed. It took me over a year before I first took some things to the charity shop and then I was so upset that I got back in the car and reversed into the car behind, luckily the owner was there and there was no damage but plenty of tears.
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When my husband was in the hospice, I asked for an address so I could donate his clothes to a charity shop, I thought that it would be easy to give them away. A few weeks ago I threw the address in the bin.
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Hi Poppet1973
Same with me. All her stuff is still here. I can’t bring myself to getvrid of anything yet. Sad isn’t it. I hold onto it because i have no desire to delete her from history, like i feel i have been doing recently.
Her name coming off bills (yes, even bloody bills), bank accounts etc, feels like i am deleting her from history. I don’t have the strength yet to remove clothes etc.
I tellnpeople and they just don’t understand where i am coming from. They say, ‘she’ll always be in your heart and your memories’ but i want more. It is not their fault…how could they possibly understand.
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Yes, ive been told to move on and find someone else and find a new normal, I don’t want a new normal I want the old one with my husband.
The only thing I have left with my husbands name on is the water bill, I don’t want to tell them as its the only thing left. I had to inform everyone else when I registered his death in December
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Poppet 1973.people keep telling me that I should be moving on and find someone else. But like you i don’t want anyone else but my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue who sadly passed away on 1st February 2023
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Your photos look lovely
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How are you doing today
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Poppet 1973.not too bad. Recovering from an above knee amputation last Friday. So taking it one day at a
Hope you get better soon
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I’ve made a huge decision this weekend. My husband died 18 months ago and his last wish was for his ashes to be scattered at sea. I just couldn’t bring myself to part with him but with our golden wedding anniversary upcoming I thought the time is right to gift him his last wish. So I’ve chartered a little boat out of Weymouth and we will all go as a family to say our final goodbyes. It will be desperately difficult for me but it’s what he wanted, albeit a little bit later than he planned!
I’ve also just redecorated his study and turned it into a sewing room for me, but made sure some of his stuff remains so I’m not erasing him from our lives. It’s still so hard being on my own. I struck up a friendship with a girl on a dog walk while he was poorly, but now 18 months on I’m finding that friendship is bringing me deeper into depression. She has mental health issues herself, and all I seem to do is support her emotions while my situation is ignored. My kids tell me to break off but I feel guilty in doing so. I know what my husband would be saying!
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If she is projecting her problems on to you and causing your depression to worsen. Then can i suggest that you slowly cut back on the friendship.big hugs to you for making the big decision
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How are you doing today, hope you are ok, im having another bad day today
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