My wife passed away three years ago after 43 wonderful years of marriage. She went in her sleep without any hint of illness. I was told that her heart just stopped. No chance to say goodbye. We had been colleagues at University for four years, in a class of only 8, and were just friends, as all our classmates were. We met by chance in Edinburgh three months after graduation, went for a coffee which lasted three hours, got engaged two days later, and married twelve weeks after that. We were, and still are, soulmates. We agreed that we were married forever, for eternity, and so I still wear my wedding ring and I am not a widower. Lesley’s wedding ring was originally my grandmother’s and so we had agreed that the ring would be kept and given to the first of our daughters to be married, and this is what we have done, so the ring goes on, just as our marriage does. Otherwise her ring would have gone with Lesley. I am not a widower. we are married forever. John 27, you are doing the right thing.
What a lovely story
I still wear my wedding ring and my engagement ring they bring wonderful memories of my husband
I lost my husband months ago very suddenly. I wear my ring and his, I was told I wasn’t married now but you know what I AM and will be until my last breath. I’m 65 and we have been together since we were 13 as we met at school.
It’s very hard to face each day without him. My feelings are my own and only he and I know what we felt for each other and that hasn’t gone away, so I’ll wear our rings in memory of what we have shared and for the love I will always feel.
Thank you for your reply
I have also decided to stay alone ,no one will ever come close to my husband Phil, we had 25 wonderful years together
Thank you
You have managed to put into words what I am thinking and feeling
I’m still a wife but also a widow
I wear our wedding rings on a chain round my neck . Mine fits perfectly inside my husbands . Together , forever x 10/11/22
Kay and I met through work but were just friends, we would go out socially every so often as friends, I left to pursue a different direction but we remained friends and every so often would go out for a chinese and catch up, we even had the odd weekend away together separate rooms! we were purely mates, we both had separate lives boyfriends/girlfriends we used to cry on each others shoulders! I got a letter, in the envelope was a scrap of paper, John I need to see you phone me, Obviously I did and I still treasure that envelope and little scrap of paper. Kay made the first sort of move to move the relationship on it was a bit weird but so natural. Well 30 odd years later
It turned out some of Kays family and friends used to tell her for Petes sake will you two get yourselves sorted
Kay went to a psychic once years ago more out of curiosity apparently we were very old soulmates who would always find each other eventually. Make of it what you will
Thank you for your reply
Do you all know I’m really pleased I started this topic when i was a bit down, it really shows we are all individual and cope in our own way and I hope others and my experience of a “cast off” remark gives strength to us all
My husband passed away 8 and a half years ago, I still wear my wedding and engagement rings. I don’t think there is ever a right time. You have to do what is best for you.
I thought i would be judged but it doesnt take away any of the love i had for my husband but we each need to do what we have to do to survive. The physical pain i have every day is horrendoue and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy
We all have to try and survive it is a terrible thing to happen to anyone and nobody knows what it’s like till it happens to them
I lost my dad in 2020 that was really hard to because off covid
But losing my husband has made me feel so lonely
Life does go on, and I know that whilst it will look different we still carry the soulmates we’ve lost along with us - just in a very very different way & that’s still the bit I get caught out by emotionally and, weirdly maybe, socially.
I am discovering that each new season of life post-loss of my soulmate catches me ought because somehow it hadn’t occured to me that my feelings seem to be changing as often as the (British) weather!
Thank you for sharing, it has been comforting/helpful to hear so many different experiences & different takes on how spouses cope & live through the loss of half of their couple. Am adjusting to not fearing/dreading/caring how others might respond to how am living though this phase in my life - I understand that some older relatives do not want to think that at aged 50 I’d be “alone”, but am not alone in that way. I feel alone, but right now I cannot imagine that it will be “fixed” by finding another partner. It just doesn’t feature or seem conceivable on my future.
It is lovely for me to be able to say that I am not lonely, I just feel alone. God has blessed me with family, extended family, friends (of varrying reliability & closeness), and two communities (a faith one & a geographical one) where I am made to feel I belong. Just wish it was with my husband by my side. I miss him terribly.
Arvia, i agree with you. My first husband died in 2009 and 6 years later i married the most amazing man. We had 10 fantastic years together but sadly he died on 3rd February this year. I couldn’t be more grateful for this second chance to have a loving relationship. I only wish it could have been longer.
Beautiful song
I had fingerprint jewelry made for the kids which they love. I decided to keep Kays Engagement, Wedding and Eternity rings, the Undertaker gave me the choice I wish now the Eternity ring had gone with her and I had just kept the other two. Its so difficult to decide what is right or wrong for you
I am rereading everything and I commented on wishing Kays Eternity ring had gone with her and I had kept the Engagement and Wedding ring. Our Eternity ring is now going to be placed with Kay’s ashes. What a beautiful idea. Thank You
I also put a rosary and a blessing card in my Philmore’s urn. He is still in our bedroom, so I can hug and talk to him. I also have two pillows and a T-shirt with his face on it now. It is over one year now (around 14 months) and I still cannot believe it. It is a neverending nightmare. Sending love and hugs.
Hi @Annaessex it is just over two years since my husbband died and like you I still can’t believe it sometimes…most of the time really. Do you find having your husband’s ashes a comfort? I have my husnand’s but I find it hard to comprehend that, that is what’s left of my big strong husbsnd. I hope you have a good a day as possible.x