I understand exactly what you are saying.
I am 5 weeks into this terrible journey and can’t believe he’s gone.
He put my ring on my finger in church almost 45 years ago and it has never come off, nor will it ever. We go on despite his passing,
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Hi Lobyloo2, having my Philmore’s urn upstairs in our bedroom helps me to survive another lonely day without him. I still have the feeling that he is around me and tries to help me through hard and sad times. I lost my reason to live since he passed and I am still shocked at how it happened. I always had someone to look after - my parents, animals and my lovely husband - now I am alone and cannot understand why I am still here. Sending love and hugs.
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Hi @Annaessex just read your post and I feel the same sometimes about still being here. Life just has no point to it now. I also live alone and find each day a struggle even though people say they can see an improvement in me. I really don’t feel any different from the day my husband died. I think it gets worse as reality kicks in. If you need anyone to talk to you can message me anytime.x
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Hello Loobyloo2 just reading your post I live alone also and like you find each day a struggle people also say they can see a change in me but inside I’m hurting that much with grief for my husband it’s also coming upto his first birthday since he passed can’t get that out my mind also May1st will be a year since he passed it only feels as if it happened yesterday and I still can’t believe he’s gone this first anniversary is really playing on my mind because I realise I haven’t seen him for a whole year and just don’t feel any better since he passed although I do push myself to go out it’s when I get home that I can’t cope with you take care 
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Hi @Jennison1946 thank you for your reply. I’m sorry that you are still struggling. It’s so hard I find. I hope you find the strength to face your husband’s birthday and also the anniversary of his death. Always here to listen. Take care of yourself.x
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Yes it is tough. Seems like a bad dream that I cant awake from - but then i do awake and it’s all real which is worse since there is no awakening from reality. But we are where we are and there is no going back; 'the moving finger writes and having writ moves on . . . ’ It may be easier to give up and call it a day but my beautiful partner would not want that, so for her sake the road ahead must be trodden. There is further to go yet although the night is lonely and the road long. Stay the course, remembering the love of our partners. In life, in death, always with us.
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Loobyloo2 and Lapizt thank you your kind words you both take careof yourselves
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Melinda, that is inspiring. I’m only 6 weeks in to this strange and unwanted new world. Still in disbelief that he is gone. But I want very much to believe that there will be a time when I can choose for my own pleasure rather than just managing to exist.
I have no interest in meeting a new partner, it’s just not for me, but at 62 this is the first time in my life that I’ve lived alone and have to make choices with only myself to consider. It’s overwhelming on top of the shock and grief and sadness that dominate my waking hours. I cling to the thought of brighter days ahead.
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Hiya- when my wife died I had no interest in meeting anyone else. 7 months in and it’s a rollercoaster of emotions. Good days and then some not so good. You don’t set out with intentions to meet a new partner but then by chance you meet someone and start talking and get on really well…so never say never😊
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Thats how i feel , just existing and waiting ! Waiting for the pain to go and all this heartache. But i know really it will never just go, as i miss him so much. He was my best friend. Life has no meaning or purpose anymore ! 
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N8658
I am 7 months along and feel that devastating sadness. I’ve never lived alone I’ve also realised I have never felt lonely until the death of my husband but I do now and it hurts so very much.
Sending courage and love
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I’m 7 months along and feel really lonely and heartbroken
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I lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue on the first of febuarary last year and i dont want anyone but sue .i feel so lost and alone .life just seems to be one long endless drag
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