weekends used to be so fun, filled with family time… shaun would do his weekly sunday 13 mile run, then we’d all go out for a carvery and trip to the park…
today i forced myself to get out for a walk to the park with my 2 girls, 9 and 19…
we were walking around our local park and my 9 year old was crying, saying how she used to run round there with her daddy…
i then sat at our fave stop spot and could feel the pain hurting more and more…
how is this even happening?? all i see around me are families/couples so happy, and my whole world has been ripped apart…
18.5 weeks of pure hell…
and it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier? i just don’t know how i’m going to ever be able to live to some sort of normal again?
5 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss. Nothing I say will make you feel any better but you’re definitely not alone in this.
I lost my beautiful wife 15 weeks and 3 days ago and like you I really do struggle with weekends. We’d always try and do something on a Saturday, even if it was just popping out for a coffee or having a wander around the shops. Sundays were always spent crashing out at home with TV and the papers. We always said that if that was all we did on our days off then we’d be more than happy as long as we were together.
Now, everything’s in pieces and I don’t know how to start again. Everybody else moves forward with their lives but I’m held in this grief. I’ve spent today constantly asking ‘Why us?’, ‘Why did this nightmare happen to us?’.
I wish I could say something to make things easier for you but I can’t. There are lots of people on the forums who are further on in their journey who I’m sure will offer advice and insight. All I can say is you aren’t alone. Take care.
2 Likes
@mementomori thank you for your kind message… i know there’s nothing anyone can say… im just so lost!! we were together 20 years, i met him at 15 years old he was my soulmate… all i ever wanted!!
we were just so happy together. everything i do, everywhere i go just hits me so hard 
and trying to stay strong for our 3 children at the same time…
1 Like
It was 21 years for us and I feel totally lost without her. Life can be very cruel. Sue really was everything to me.
1 Like
Hi @Scarl34 @mementomori
Yes, another weekend in this new lives we find ourselves existing in.
For me it has been 7 months and we were together 37 years married for 35.
Every weekend is the same i try to keep busy and during the day is not so bad but nights and weekends i dont seem to cope well. Tonight I’ve been in bed not able to settle another night of broken sleep 
Life really can be so cruel l only hope it will get easier
Take care
Lynne Xx
4 Likes
@Scarl34
You have done the most amazing thing,you have fought through your pain to protect your children,it’s a pain that you will need to fight and cope with many times. If nothing else then feel proud that you are brave enough to do that. x
2 Likes
hi @miker thank you so much. i don’t feel i’m doing very well? todays been horrible, went to work come home started tea and just broke down. just don’t know how i’m going to keep everything going on my own?
im so so scared 
2 Likes
I was thinking about you in Dec.I’ve not been on for a while….I see you’re still surviving and managing one a day at a time, it’s all we have, you are doing ok, you are safe and your kids are being looked after……even if it doesn’t feel like it 
1 Like
Weekends are the worst especially Sunday.
2 Likes
So many on this forum that agree with that! I see that you’re new to the forum, I’m sorry for your loss x
1 Like
hi @Sun aw thank you for thinking of me! that means a lot… yes surviving (just) i just want to give up every single day, but i know i can’t, it’s not an option because what will my kids do if i do that? i feel inside im getting worse each day though…
i hope your doing ok? (silly thing to say but mean it in the right way)
1 Like
@Homeform someone in the office said today “the weekend goes so quick doesn’t it!” i nodded politely and smiled, and inside thought “i used to say the exact same, then come monday just countdown to our weekend ahead” now they literally drag and feel like torture and emptiness
1 Like
There’s some people on this forum who have stuck in my head from when I was on every day, you being one of them! I could (and still can) feel your utter devastation and pain jumping out of the page! I’ve not been on much recently, I got to a point where it became too difficult to read, a reminder of loss that wasn’t helping at that point. I’ve doing better in some ways, but not others. Thanks for asking (and I totally got you meant it in a nice way when asking 
)
Thank god you’ve got the kids,you absolutely need to keep surviving…not only for them, but they definitely need their mum……x
1 Like
@Sun i know they do and that’s the only reason i seem to drag myself through the day, i just hope one day in the future i can find some happiness and this awful anxiety/worry will ease a little? i don’t want their future being even more sad because of me??
1 Like
I understand the anxiety,stress,worrying etc,it’s awful and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. I hope it passes for you aswell, we humans have a strong will to survive, it just takes a battering with grief doesn’t it? I’ve had someone say to me before that their kids helped pull them through the loss of their mum, cause they didn’t have the choice.
Are you having any better times yet?
1 Like
Thank you the same to you x
1 Like
Agree with that.
1 Like
@Sun there are moments of smiles/nice feelings but i feel as soon as they come and happen, in the next breath im knocked off my feet again with the grief/pain? xx
1 Like
Take the lovely moments as the wins they are.I know it’s easier said than done, at least you are recognising they are there. Grab those positives with both hands. there will be more to come. You deserve them x
1 Like