I lost my beloved husband a year ago. Since then I’ve gone through the initial numbness, I’ve rode the waves of intense grief and I’ve gone through so many emotions, ups and downs and of course the pain which is my constant companion. At first people, family all rally round but when the dust settles the loneliness sets in. I get through the days somehow. Monday to Friday I somehow cope, there’s bad days, some better days, but I cope because I know all the people in my life are working. But come the weekend families are together doing things and although they include me there’s times when I feel I’m a burden. I’m extremely grateful for their support but I hate the thought of them feeling obligated to include me in their plans. There are weekends when I’ve sat home alone all Saturday and Sunday and don’t see a soul. It’s absolutely soul destroying but what are you supposed to do? Much as I would like to be independent and not always rely on my family etc, you can’t go out and pluck companions out of thin air. Whilst I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, I wish there was someone in the same situation as me, someone who understands loss and grief and someone who would be up for meeting up to go for a cup of coffee, a walk maybe in the park. Someone who needs company as desperately as I do, who is lonely. All the people in
my life still have their husbands and lead full and busy lives.
Totally agree with everything you say. Every day is hard but weekends are harder. My family and friends are there for me but they have their lives to get on with. I’m 60 and all my friends still work and like you have nobody in the same situation as me x
With you all the way but at least I go church, guarantee to get out for a walk, ideally where there are people &; dogs, National Trust works well for this!! Grotty weather is annoying esp when friends list pictures of themselves with friends in a nice pub! Like we would after a walk sometimes. Ive looked at walking groups etc but some meet where I’m not confident to get to, many are full of much matured people not necessarily on their own. This is the problem I find with these groups, I’m not a very on line person, & we can’t meet etc. Some organisations do organise things locally sometimes. I need to meet people closer to my own age
Barbara61. I’m also in my 60’s. Maybe if we were younger and still working things would be very different for us. You work hard and you look forward to retirement but then the plans and dreams come crashing down. Life is so different to what I envisioned. How life can change in the blink of an eye.
Hi I totally agree with you, weekends are awful. Today I’ve been food shopping ( for me and a neighbour) and cleaned the house from top to bottom. I try to keep busy but weekends seem to drag and amplify the silence and loneliness. Thankfully I have a dog so I take him for long walks but I still come back to and empty house. Take care x
I truly hate weekends as well don’t see anybody long days being out with my dog and back home take care annie x x
I also hate weekend. It’s the silence and the lonliness. It’s deafening and the days feel twice as long. The weather is cold and horrible and makes me feel even sadder. I see people walking about getting on with their lives and I want to scream stop don’t you realise my soulmate has gone. How can they just carry on and my world has been blown apart in a moment. X
Hi all.
So I’ve just had the weekend from hell. As if weekends are not bad enough, I think I have Covid. Lateral flow tests have been negative but it seems strange to me that I made a rare trip to the shopping centre on Tuesday and by Wednesday evening found I had lost my sense of taste and smell and it has not returned. Have spent the entire weekend on the sofa with a hot water bottle and throw, no energy to do anything. Even fixing something to eat seems pointless when you can’t taste anything, you may as well eat a bowl of sawdust. Feeling so lonely and frustrated as I don’t know for sure if I’m positive as the tests say negative but I can’t take the chance of seeing anyone just in case. Miserable awful weather, gloomy and depressing and have been feeling really sorry for myself. Sorry all! Just had to vent! Missing my Beloved husband so much and have cried a lot the last couple of days. So glad this wretched weekend is over.
Hope your feeling a bit better is awfull when your not well without our lovely husbands being here a had shingles a few was ago so take care lv annie x
Hope you feeling better this morning Annie. I’m an anxious wreck. I’m crying and scared and don’t know why. I took Smudge for a walk and we nearly blew away. I just can’t seem to cope with anything any more. X
Sorry you are feeling unwell. It’s quite daunting when you are on your own. I’ve just returned from walking the dog, it’s very cold and windy thanks to storm Franklin. Take care and I hope you feel better soon xx
It’s horrible nel when your on your own just need a cuddle tell you everything okay john was my backbone always there as your husband was lv hugs annie x x
Thanks everyone for your well wishes and Annie I hope you’re feeling much better now. These storms just make everything worse. If the weather was decent and one could sit outside, listen to the birds singing, get some fresh air it would be a different story. A glimpse of sunshine and blue skies and you instantly feel better psychologically. But no chance of that here, its just cold, dark and miserable. On these kind of days my Hubble and I would hunker down and binge watch something on Netflix and just shut the world out, and that was fine, but when you’re alone during these miserable days it’s absolute hell. I strongly suspect I suffer from that seasonal Affective Disorder too so I dread winter anyway, but when he was here with me I could cope. Just wonder how much more I can take. Take care of yourselves everyone.
Totally agree that this horrible weather does affect your mood. I didn’t find January quite as bad as I was expecting as the weather was settled and we hardly had any rain. Managed to get out for a walk every day and it does help a bit but February has just been the opposite with these storms. Roll on spring and hope it brings us all a bit positivity going forward because we certainly need it xx
We need it barbra I’m fed up up trying to be positive lv annie x x
Hi Sakinah?
Why don’t you get a PCR?
You can still get one as long as you have symptoms and loss of taste or smell are on that list.
Cheryl
Hi Cheryl. I’m awaiting one in the post. Should be here tomorrow.
Oh that’s good. Fingers crossed 
Yep fear so, but I hopefully am doing my best to trust in God the future shall still bring his plans for my life with joy & happiness. Pray same for you &;All xxx
Look up if any local eg hospices do groups or other organisations, also AGE UK wirk with 50 plus, they can do befriending & help with small tasks, so can I think it was called Go gym, they run to you stay for whatever arranged & run back x unfortunately most at group I attend are older than me & talk about holidays ( alot !!!), & is quite clicky!!I find it hard to talk to anyone about my scenario but long to, people don’t ask me it’s more me asking!! I’d poss get more out of befriending others as I’m extremely empathic. Think about that too as an idea x