Liro. I am like you. I was widowed 2 years ago after 54 years of marriage and a previous two years of engagement. I am 81 and i have compassion for all younger bereaved people but when you are old and have been with them for such a long time it is dreadfully hard. Unless you have been through it nobody could understand the devastation that you feel without them. My own sister reminds me very often that I was lucky to have had a long marriage whereas she was widowed at 50 but for her it was different as she had a young daughter of 12 to look after and so had a purpose in life. I feel no purpose at all in life whatever I do. Every day is a real struggle.
Sending love.
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Good morning @Pat91
Thankyou for understanding.
I really don’t want anyone to think that I’m trying to say grieving is harder for us older ones.
Grieving is hard whatever the age.
I just started to get a feeling that a few, by no means all, felt we should be grateful not grieving.
I’m doing both, I’m grateful for the time we had, and grieving for what I’ve lost, and that is bever going to change
As you say our purpose in life has gone. I’m trying so hard to start a new life because I promised Roger I would. But its so so hard.
Thankyou
Sending you love and hugs x❤️
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I am alone,63.
Family all live away.my hubby passed march this year.i dont socialise,my best friend at the moment is battling to survive in hospital,theres little hope,i found her collapsed,
I struggle with my loss of my hubby everyday,cant go forward.
When i lost him.most of me went with him,i carry on hopeing everyday wont be bad days.todays a bad bad day.i stay focused and do pick up sometimes,but its so so hard,and the tv is always sad,whatevers on is sad,i speak to him all day now thats good.that helps.i find comfort there
Would be
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Sorry to hear of the loss of your husband 
I’m also sorry to hear your struggling at the moment. Im sure loosing your husband is the hardest thing that could happen to you in this world.
As hard as it is now, you won’t feel like this forever.
Have you thought about grief counselling?
Sending lots of love xx
Xx
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I agree don’t write us off just because we are old. My wife died last year after 52 wonderful years together, no warning signs no reason, one minute she was here the next she was gone. Those 52 years meant our relationship our bond was so strong it’s a life time. How can you survive after your partner your best friend your lover your other half has gone. I feel the longer your relationship is or has been seems to me to be welded together and without them life is pointless.
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Ive been offered couniciling all around, by drs and others,talking about it makes me worse,thi k about the good memories they say,that makes me worse than ever,
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I feel for you all really deeply,its terrible, thanks for all the words of support, i do take them on board,
I just can’t get to grips with it,
Im so tired,and im just glad of football and tennis at the moment,thanks
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It certainly is. And trying to break into existing friendship groups nigh on impossible.
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Bless you it’s just shit. The loneliness is awful? least you’ve got things to occupy your mind, for a while anyway.
Hopefully you’ve people around you.
We’re about in Lancashire are you? X
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Lancashire near blackpool,im pretty much on my own,family are all far away from here,my best freind and neighbour passed away as well this week so its just a bad emotional time,i wish my hubby was here so much.
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How awful for you 
have you any pets, I know it’s no real comparison but I’d be lost without my dog, he’s so lovely and great company.
I find chatting on here helps the loneliness. Have a look at some of the threads and contribute xx
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No pets,we have had,but its so upsetting when we lost them so we said no more,but i have said i would,but we took on an appartment with a no a no pet allowed rule so a cant move now,
Thanks alot,youre very kind take care ok.ill be fine
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You are right in all you say. You maybe a certain age but you still think of things from when you were both young as well as when you both became older.
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Look at Fylde Friends Sharing Life after Loss on Facebook. People like us that have lost their love ones. Friendly group.
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Sorry for your loss not been on here for a while .reading through comments tears running down my face . Life so unfair . Keep telling my self tina in no more pain .and now at rest does not make it any easier 63 7 months now beginning to cope bit by bit. Going to say. We are here and our partner would want us to move on slowly until our time comes an we can join them xxx
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I agree our age makes no difference or how long we have been together. It is still utterly devastating and I am so sorry for everyone’s suffering and loss. I am 71 and it has been five years now since I lost my partner John. I still cry frequently and live with the constant heartache of him not being here. I fear that I am not moving on as I should be. I belong to groups and see people though I can go days without seeing anyone and that is not good or helpful. It doesn’t help that I have no loving supportive family. I am here on my own. We just lived for each other and I felt fulfilled. The few friends I have want to do things, theatre, meals, etc. but I just want someone to talk to, to share my memories with. Other people cannot fill that gap and the things I do seem pointless and meaningless without him. Struggling so much today.
Wishing you all well and sending much peace and hope x
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I ve only been on here for a month. Lost my husband 18 months ago and I cry almost every other day. It’s so hard to cope with x
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Hi @lifealone
I’m so sorry you’re struggling.
I’m having a bit of a bad day too. I only lost my husband 19 weeks ago, but it feels like forever.
I know what you mean when you say you want to talk about him, I’m the same.
I really can’t accept that he’s gone and never coming back. Although I know its true.
I was with him when he left and I watched him take his last breath.
I am trying hard to carry on, but as you know its so so hard
Sending a big hug
X x
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