Hi @lifealone I am sorry you are still finding life so hard. Life is difficult without that special person. I can relate to what you have said about joining in with things but find it pointless and meaningless. It is just over two years for me and I am finding life hard. The thing is, I hope for my life to improve but really can’t see it happening. I am a similar age to you and have lost both my parents many years ago. I thought that was hard but nothing prepares you for losing your husband/partner. I was with my husband for fifty years and now on my own.x
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It’s one of the hardest things to cope with. I have 2 daughters and friends but I feel I can’t keep talking about it. I lost my husband 18 months ago and like you I miss him terribly. He was 74 I am now 75 married for 51 yrs, nothing prepares you for the pain you feel. I do like this group as at least everyone understands how you feel.
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Its so hard for us all i struggle badly,like all of you am so very sorry, for all your losses,mornings and bedtimes are the worst,i know am not alone,like you all,cant sleep,then nightmares last night,kept me awake were frightening. So much passes through the mind just lying there,talking to him,please keep talking you really helping,hearing all ,you all are going through softens the loneliness a bit ,much love thanks
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I haven’t been online for a while. Been a rough few weeks …birthdays,anniversery and another planned celebration that didnt happen. Felt as if I was spiralling backwards. It’ll be 24 weeks on monday since the worst day of my life and the grief is still overwhelming . I joined a Tai Chi class which was one of the things I had planned on my retirement. He would so happy that I’m trying something new and the class are so supportive but he’s not there when I get home and you all know, thats the worst. The pretence can stop.
I’m living one day at a time but I’m also reliving the past constantly. Its my only comfort. I still talk to him every day and feel that he’s not really gone …hes he’s here somewhere. 46 years and your soulmate and best friend is gone. I know you all understand which is a gift in itself. Hang in there everyone
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Sending a big hug too. Just know we all understand here and lets try to take strength from each other.
I am living with the guilt of not being there when he passed. I cannot forgive myself for that, I was in such turmoil and wonder what it was like for him and whether he knew. It doesn’t bear thinking about. I hope he can forgive me.
Take care xx
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It is so true. Grief at the loss of a dearly loved husband/partner is something we can never be prepared for. Offering advice only deepens the pain as no two situations are the same. The best help is just ‘being there’ for someone.
We can only take one day at a time and hope that life will have something to offer as we get stronger. xx
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100% agree with your sentiments and I’m not even that old. Just 54.
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Sending much love xx
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Sending much love to you too xx
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Oh @lifealone
Please stop feeling guilty. I’m sure whatever the reason he would have understood.
As I said I was with Roger at the end, but I still feel guilt.
I think it’s just a part of grieving.
Big hugs to you x x
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Oh, I wasn’t there at the moment he passed away my 2 daughters were so it couldn’t have been long before I arrived I feel so guilty and can’t beat it when I think of how he looked when I hugged him in some ways he looked younger he was 74 when he passed away I am nearly crying now as I think about it, we both loved each other very much. We were married 51 yrs but knew each other for 54 yrs. I am now 75 ,18 months have passed and still I feel the full force of the grief. How do you get through this grief? Love to you all who are still suffering.
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It’s hard. Really is but try little steps and one day at a time not going to say it gets easy it don’t think of all the good times you had x
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Just go from day to day doing what you can and what you feel is helpful to you. We tend to look at the past and the future which creates anxiety. Just trying to stay in the present and contact with other understanding people (if possible) is so important even though it’s not the one person you want. Are your daughters close by and supportive? I do feel your pain. Take care and sending lots of love. xx
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Hi , after nearly three years without my husband , I still feel the pain and hurt , but I dont mind it still hurting so much , its all the love I will always have for him , but him not being able physically to recieve it . I have had to accept and adapt to a life now without him . But it doesnt mean I will ever like this forced life I now have xtake carex
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Hi Tina happy heavenly anniversary been 6 months 6 long months 6 lonely months your right not one of the children wished or phoned. They have busy life’s. If only you could read this an answer this you could tell me what to to do think you be proud of me going day to day to all the site we all in this path we don’t no but a path to somewhere xx
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Same here. 6 months. Week after next we would have been married 36 years. So on our wedding anniversary im placing my wifes ashes next to her mothers on the grandmothers grave. 4 generations of her family in the churchyard. Will be a very emotional time. Then off for a celebratory meal at my wifes favourite restaurant. We were booked in to the same hotel the week of her final seizures. So i hope to make it a celebration of her life and all that she meant to us. So very deeply missed.
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I understand
My son grieved for his dad but moved on after couple of months which is fine,they have busy lives and their own family but I had expected a phone call or something on his dads birthday and our anniversary which were a month apart. That just seemed to make me feel even lonelier . I’m glad he’s happy buthe fully understands the heartache n complete devastation losing a spouse is like thankfully.
He doesn’t live nearby but ve got 2 great friends to lean on if I need to .
I’m just thankful I came across this site. Remember we’re all here to listen .
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I am lucky as my daughter’s don’t live faraway. My eldest daughter let me ring her in the night during the early days and I am so grateful for that. There are lots of times I have got no motivation if Tom was here I d just get on with things like decorating and Tom did the garden but I don’t feel I have the energy to do things
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