Awww bless you and nobody could tell you what was going on how selfish. Sending you a hug xxx
2 Likes
Thank you really appreciate your response. Life is so horrible at the moment. I thought i was getting stronger obviously not.
2 Likes
I think we are minute by minute step by step but omg its so bloody hard and people dont help. It will be 7 weeks tomorrow since my darling husband closed his eyes. Hugs Jo xxx
2 Likes
Hi, your situation is very similar to mine. I too have a 35 year old son who lives with me and I have to say we don’t spend that much time together but knowing he is there in the house is a great comfort.
I’m fortunate that most of the time I like my own company and I have my daughter and her baby son to visit every week.
When I feel lonely I always look for something positive to keep me going - I had a downer last night and had to remind myself that I would have plenty to do today today visiting family.
I am going to Spain in 2 weeks with my son to a place my partner and I went a lot. It will bring back a lot of memories and I will find it difficult being there without him, but it’s something I have to do. I know he will be there with me and I will talk to him like I have since he passed. This is what keeps me going.
This all seems very disjointed but I hope it will help some of you who are in the depths of despair to hang on and look for the positives as you go along. I feel I have come a long way in the last 3 months and being able to read about other’s experiences and feelings has grounded me so that I know I’m not the only one walking through this tunnel - I really feel there is light at the end of it.
Love to everyone out there, stay strong x
4 Likes
Hello Hope2, it so painful when the very people you need to contact you just don’t . I think that has hurt me more than anything and it is hard to put into words the effect it has other than it can feel so debilitating. I have learnt to be my best advocate (though sometimes the yearning for others to be there still hovers). I hope knowing you are not alone here with those feelings can help in some way. Hugs x x
2 Likes
I to have had a difficult week. I am also pushing myself out of my comfoet zone. Darren was my partner, my lover, my best friend, my soul mate and my childrens father. I miss him humongously. I got diagnosed with some disabilities during lockdown that I found extremely difficult to accept. I didnt realise how much he did for me. I know that he will be proud of all that I have achieved in the 6 months that he has been gone. I have been pushing myself to go to the places that we visited together and as a family. I have been to 4 places so far and scattered ashes with family members. Its upsetting, the longer I leave it the harder it will become. Darren s one year anniversary is in February and i plan to go to Budapest with family the last and most important place to us both. We were hoping that we were going to spend a lot of time in the future. I know how you feel and just typing this tears are rolling down my face. Its important to know that others are feeling the same.
6 Likes
I’m sorry for your loss of Darren. You are doing soo well in your journey through his loss. But this is not the end of the book. You have many more chapters that you need to write. Darren will be proud of you. You need to finish your joint story on your own but he will be alongside you, encouraging and helping you from afar. Do it for Darren as much as yourself. Finish that book in your own time. Xx
3 Likes
It’s been a year now and I’m still so very hollow and lost. 35 years of sheer joy and companionship all gone in one drastic puff
I will not recover, I know that. Maybe conversing with someone in the same boat will help. I don’t know, I’m still desperately trying to bottle everything up.
I am an ex professional soldier who found real love late in life. Having led a hard existence, suffering loss and enduring grievous hardships, this should have been easier than it is.
Wrong! If it wasn’t for my children I would gladly end my life now. Just like you though - I am alone in an all pervading bottomless grief.
4 Likes
I’m so sorry you are feeling so alone. Great love does involve great grief in my experience but I also think that grief is love turned inside out and upside down. It’s terrifying and so isolating and I feel your pain and hear you. Try and hold onto the love you had for your loved one and hopefully in time it will be of some comfort to you. Try and remember that “the living wish the dead peace and the dead wish the living that too”.
5 Likes
Hi
I too am ex military and lost my wife in April this year so have a good idea what you are going through.
Best wishes.
Ron
2 Likes