I miss belonging to a couple. The cosy evening chats over a g and t. The thoughtful gestures, the laughs, having someone to confide in, knowing that your fears or worries will not be passed on. I miss the cuddles, the hand holding while walking down the street. I miss the joy of planning a holiday and the excitement of hitching up our folding camper and going off to a new site in France. I fill my days with activities, Tock Choir, ramblers and the gym just st to keep me ‘busy’. Do I enjoy them- not really. The hours stretch into days, weeks, months and now coming to my this year alone. It’s a horrible boat to be in.
I was just thinking the same, we used to love Fridays. Finishing work knowing we had the whole weekend together. I walked to work & almost ran home. Derek had taken early retirement & I was due to last March, I still did, but we never got to enjoy retirement together. As big cricket fans, we’d have turned our days on their head & watched the ashes all night & slept all day. Or as season ticket holders at Blackpool looking forward to the game, meeting friends in the pub beforehand, chippy tea. People have said you’re still young you might feel you want to meet someone else, I know they mean well but when you’ve found your one that’s it & although of course I’m lonely, I’m lonely for him.
That’s what I’m missing too. Someone to talk to about the day and share everything with. That special person to go through life with
That’s what I miss so much as well, just someone to share your day and spend the rest of your life with. Family and friends can never replace what we have lost and that is why all this is just so hard.
It’s 29 weeks today that my husband, Ian, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I find myself just drifting through each day ……
Yes drifting through day to day seems to be the way at the moment.
A friend of mine said you can have the best family and friends but nothing can replace having a special person to share life with. So very true.
Take care xx
My husband Alan died suddenly in September 2021. Our youngest is getting married in May this year. It’s going to be a very hard day to get through for myself and the family without my husband there. I’m 61 and my husband was 67. I have a lovely and supportive family but at the end of the day they go home and then it’s just me and the dog!
Jodel712 when you say you are lonely, lonely for him, that really resonates with me, I miss my best friend so much, we both had Fridays off and that was a day for just the two of us, the kids at school, we could spend a lazy day, catching up, having lunch, just being a couple and I miss that. Talking about work, the kids, our parents, just sometimes nothing in particular. Doing odd jobs, listening to music. I miss what may have lay ahead of us, our future, things still to enjoy. He was only 48 and I’m now 49, but I see no future anymore, no plans, just the kids and making sure they have lives to look forwards to. I pass the days but they mean nothing anymore, all the same.
Reading all these stories of our sadness lonely ness with out out partners it’s so hard for us all I feel same as you all empty now not a couple how do was carry on I don’t feel I want this emptiness life has ended for me I feel I do try fill the days but go home and alone this should not have happened now we was enjoying life together and he was looking forward to getting his pension life so cruel and now you not a couple I find people don’t ask you to join them even family let you down hope you all manage to get through your day xx
Hi, I think that there are some misconceptions about loneliness, as the general consensus seems to view it as being on your own and longing for company. Any company, as long as you’re not by yourself. Now this might be true for some, but for me it’s about quality. Like you and many others on here, I miss the company of my partner and there’s now this massive void since he passed in October '21. A void that can’t be filled by just having people around. In fact, I’ve felt even more disconnected and lonely when I’ve been with others because a) they don’t understand the pain of losing a partner and b) they’re not him. The uniqueness of my relationship with my partner can’t be replicated. He truly was one of a kind and I’ll miss him forever. Hopefully we’ll all emerge into the light one day and learn to live again rather than just exist.
Yes I get that . I am not lonely really as after 2 years I have adapted to living alone . However I am 72 and my hubby and I were married almost 50 years . It’s HIM I miss as you can see any number of friends and family and fill your days trying to be useful in some way .
That’s not the point though as I just wish every day we had longer together .
I understand younger wives feel differently and are really lonely for company . I pray that the years will be kind to you and you get the strength to cope alone somehow .
I turned 47 just before Christmas and my partner was 50 when they’d passed.
I’d found somebody who understood me, as I did them.
And although I might be relatively young, that in itself won’t guarantee that I’ll find somebody like that again.
Like you, it’s him that I miss, so company for company’s sake just won’t do.
It’s all subjective of course, but the common theme seems to be that if you’ve found the one, then you’ll feel the loss, irrespective of age. Wishing you well as you continue on your journey.
Hi yes it is my husband I miss so much telly can not wait till I’m with him have to wait a while I guess for them to get over there loss I have been lucky to have found true love for 46 yrs that makes it so hard to live with out him by my side as you all know worse pain ever xx
Oh my goodness, I completely agree with you all. My husband passed on 10th December 2021 suddenly. He went into hospital early hours of Thursday morning and passed away mid afternoon on the Friday. We’d both been married previously in abusive relationships, and we just got each other. Neither one of us could do enough for each other. I too have Fridays off so we had 3 day weekends, we’d go out on our little boat fishing, or potter around the house, I like crafting and often made things from wood and he’d teach me how to use all of his machines, we’d spend hours talking and planning, we just felt complete when we were both in the house even if we were in separate rooms just knowing where one another is. It’s all so difficult, I have days that I just can’t stop crying and days I keep myself so busy so I don’t have time to stop and think. I can’t sleep properly, I so miss sharing things with him. Just when I start to feel that I am coping something, often minor sets me off. I felt angry for him being taken away from me, and weeped for the loss of our plans and adventures. It’s just horrificly painful. Karen:cry:
All what you say I feel and miss knowing that I will never have his kisses and hugs and being able to talk to home and do every thing together have to sort every thing out and make all the decisions lots ha e gone wrong since he has been good so horrific life will be with out him xx
Hi,I can’t say that I feel lonely but I’ve never felt so alone and you’re right all our lost partnerships are unique. I have family and good friends who I can always join with or talk to, but I feel that there is no longer that special person that I truly meant something to. My husband passed away in 2018 but my grief hurts as much now as it was then. Sometimes I have to turn these posts off because the waves of tears overwhelmed me but thank goodness we can speak about our grief to others who we know understand and won’t judge us.
You’ve put into words exactly what I miss too Montague, as well as how I do my best to fill my days. It’s coping and living, but not how any one of us would choose.
Yes we can fill out day but it’s the coming home and his not there it’s horrible life is so empty with out my husband here I just finding it harder xx
I miss all that since my wife passed away we had a caravan and enjoyed touring but the last couple of years we went seasonal because I was struggling to sort van whilst touring. She loved being in van in fact we was away in van before just before she passed. We had just moved to site we was on and had a couple of weeks on site then she passed away I went a couple of times but it wasn’t the same so I sold van. It’s never easy losing your rock but we owe it to them to make the best of the time we have left
These messages really resonate with me. Thank you for sharing. I lost Walter 6 months ago and l do try to make the days productive, but there is such a hole! It’s the little things you miss so much. Kathy
It is extremely hard to be without your partner unfortunately one nearly always passed first I’m glad that my wife passed first perhaps not glad but I feel I can cope better than my wife if I went first. That gives me some solice.