I think my partner is my counsellor, he’s had to put up with a lot of crying from me the last few days again. How are you coping and feeling xx
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Talk to us on here, it all helps xx
When does it stop?
When does this merry-go-round of pain. loss and despair stop and let me off? When I die too.
If only I had an answer to give you, I spent last night in tears as they had fireworks goings off, took me back to last year with my son. Ive hit the brick wall again and can’t cope again. Take care xx
It doesn’t take much to bring all that grief flooding back, all life’s events, big or small are going to be very hard.
I’m being triggered by the TV, all the Christmas adverts and the new series of tv shows that she loved and will never watch again.
The dark nights and bad weather are so hard.
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Some of my family and friends is telling me to clean up my son’s room donate or dispose some of his belongings so I can move on is it true ??? Because in my heart i feel
Like when I dispose or donate some of his belongings I felt like I’m forgetting him 
some days I’m completely ok to do it but most of the time I can’t even touch his stuff .
I’m trying to avoid all the tv adverts by recording programmes, but one of my friends rang me today and all I did was cry down the phone. I feel like crap again. Every day at the moment feels like the early days. I think back and at Christmas we would watch a film together snuggled up under the duvet with a few goodies. Full of gloom sorry xx
You have to do things when you are ready. I donated a lot of my sons clothes to a company called Pass It On where it helps venerable people. My son would have helped anyone. It gave me peace I was doing some good. He owned his own flat which I got my partner to sort out within a few weeks of him passing, I will never go in there again, that’s where I found him accidentally overdosed on drugs. The flat is up for sale, even that upsets me. Every thing upsets me at the moment. Do what you can when you can xx
Don’t do anything you’re not ready to do.
I’m lucky that no one has said I have to do anything, I am grieving in my own way at my own pace. My daughter’s things are all here, everything and I mean EVERYTHING, from used tissues to her medications. The only thing I have had to part with was her wheelchair and that’s because it wasn’t ours to keep.
Please do not do anything that makes you sad, in time you may be able to donate some of his things but only when you’re ready but if you don’t ever feel ready that is fine, keep them.
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Christmas is killing me, I want it to be over. But there will be something else to stab us in the heart.
Nothing of my life will ever be the same, none of us will ever be who we once were.
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The Christmas adds, i haven’t watched TV since, but my husband leaves it on i cannot stand it, yesterday every break Christmas adds…
My sons room is how he left it, i took out food and thats it. It will stay for at least 12 months, the only things im worried about are his guitars as i dont want them to get damaged and they are on the walls
I’m beginning to hate the tv. I was driving yesterday and people putting up outside lights for Christmas. At least the guitars are safe which is good. I’m going backwards in how I feel. Been crying again, eyes are so sore, heart pounding again. When will we ever feel right…never at this rate x
My daughter has guitars too, she’d just bought a new one before she was diagnosed so never got to play it. Again, it’s another thing I cannot ever see myself parting with. This why I say I feel like I’m entombed in her life. I feel like I have been sealed inside her pyramid, trapped there forever like the slaves of the pharaohs. No escape, just the dark and the loss.
I really don’t think with the build up to Christmas is helping any of us. This afternoon I was crying about a heater in my sons flat which is up for sale. My partner said why are you crying about a heater, told him I will cry at anything at the moment. I’m not sure what to suggest at coping at the moment, just take care and go with it. Sending you a big hug xx
Hi everybody can’t sleep feel so sad.My only child my son died March 2022.We lost his dad 11 years previously.
He didnt own his flat so I had alot to sort out so I had to sort it out pretty quickThough I must say the Housing Association were very underdtanding…Music was life he had a vast collection of vinyls cds and also audio tapes which he had meticulosly taped from vinyls from the library when he was a teenager.A great friend of Marks with same tastes was a recipient of them all as Mark wished.I also had my garage converted to a “Man Cave” for my son because through his illness and his addictions he always felt safe with his mum.Can’t bear to touch anything in there.Time is not a healer in anyway.I miss him more with each passing day.He was a good caring soon.People say he’s with his dad but he should be here with me.Our children should never go before us.Christmas now is just another day.My love and thoughts go to everybody that has lost a child .The pain of the loss is unbearable xxxxx
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Marg1. I am going backwards again and can’t cope again. The pain is horrendous. My son was a big music fan, if only I could hear his loud music banging out when he lived at home, that phone call or text message. Life is crap to be honest. Sat crying again. Last Christmas we were together, he had no drugs in his system and was loving son, he was and always will be. No one but people here understand. Yesterday I cried all about a heater🤷♀️ xx
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Gosh MJG I understand to others little things seem petty to us everything means everything.My son passed with COPD he also had NON HODGE LYMPHOMA.So not sure why they also had to put further down on his death certificate drug alchohol related.Heart breaking sad and angry.Just want to hug my boy again as I am sure you do Take care of yourself xxx
Sorry about your son, it’s so heartbreaking. My sons death certificate was drug toxicity, aspiration pneumonia which coroner thought could have happened few days prior, and subacute endocarditis, which he had several years ago and was in hospital 6 weeks on a drip. It sure is the tiny things that set us off. Take care xx
You too my love xxx
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