What might help you to cope with grief at Christmas?

Hello everyone,

I have seen lots of posts about Christmas - we know how difficult it can be for many people, whether it’s the first Christmas without a loved one or the fifth. Big occasions can bring up so many different emotions - as many of you have shared, it’s often helpful to tell others what you need (and don’t need) around this time.

A team of Sue Ryder colleagues are creating some social media posts around being Grief Kind at Christmas time. If you feel comfortable answering the following questions, we’d love to use and share some of your words (anonymously) within these posts.

1) What old or new traditions and activities have helped you cope with grief at Christmas?

2) What helped or will help you cope with the first Christmas after a bereavement?

If you feel comfortable sharing what helps you and are happy for us to share your words (we won’t use any names or other identifying information), please either reply to this post or contact me by emailing online.community@sueryder.org.

If this isn’t for you but you’re feeling worried about Christmas this year, we have an article on Coping with grief at Christmas which might be helpful.

Thank you for taking the time to read this - please take care of yourselves and know you are not alone .



This will be my second christmas without my husband. He loved Christmas with all the twinkling lights, so I still put them up outside and in the house in his memory and I hope he can see them from his heavenly place.
My husband dying has pulled our family closer together and last Christmas we all spent the day together. I stayed at my daughter’s house and will do the same again this year.
My daughter said to me, mum your welcome to stay for as long or as little as you want. They understand if I need time on my own.
Husband, dad, grandad will always be part of our Christmas, I still write his name on cards and presents to our children and grandchildren, I still get him a card. He will always be the centre of my universe.


Thank you for sharing this, @Debbie57 :blue_heart:


I seem to remember last year we all lit a Christmas Eve candle for our loved ones .
I love candles and light one most winter nights . Just a little comfort .I plan to be with our son and family this year . The fourth Christmas without my lovely hubby . I will try to light a candle at their home when my grandaughters put their Santa stockings out and say the candle is to remember Grandad as they often still talk about him which is lovely . It’s so important to treasure the memories we all have . Christmas will always be hard but if you have children or grandchildren you are blessed as they are the future aren’t they :christmas_tree::christmas_tree::pray:


Hello everyone,

This is my first Christmas without my dad. I lost him 5 days ago. Nothing feels real at the moment and I can’t quite believe he is gone. We were just speaking about Christmas the other day and now he won’t be here. It’s very hard to get my head around and it’s usually the best time of year for me, but now it is the worst. I can’t hear Christmas music, or even look at my own tree without falling apart. There’s no joy or excitement, I don’t want to see anyone or do anything. I hope there’s someone out there who can relate to my feelings and words. Take care.