We would normally be going away today with my husbands family , instead they’re up there and I’m down here as I don’t drive, feeling empty I think is all a part of grief or a grieving process, although why it’s called a process is beyond me as we all deal differently,
What I’m trying to say I guess is that we all feel that way at some point , lost empty scared and immense anger at how this could happen, I do however think that voicing it on here with people with similar experiences makes you feel less alone xx
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Kath, yeah that in the living years is a lovely song… It strange how you can have a song on repeat knowing it just causes you pain and you can’t stop crying but you carry on all the same… I don’t think life is about trying to carry on or getting by… We died the same day they did… Nothing ever will be the same again… It’s about finding that strength to start from scratch… We find new friends in community like these because let’s face we need people that truly understand our pain… Not people that think we will be back to normal in a week or two…
I remember each month that went by… The denial… The anger… Guilt… Loneliness… Nightmares… Dark thoughts… I’m now 7 months out, I googled the hell out of bereavement for advice and coping mechanisms and armed with that knowledge and with the help of fantastic people on here… I’m now able to smile… Able to recall memories and feel happy I had them instead of sadness that I no longer do…
Our lives all changed suddenly, oneday there gone the next… There is no reason it can’t do it again but positively… All we can do is survive and hope some day our empty hearts can be healed…
To all you in pain… It can’t rain everyday… Hang on for them patches of sun… Take care x
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I feel that too, no future, like I’m stuck in fog, nothing ahead, can’t see an end to this despair. Also I don’t even know who I am without him, we were together from 17 and I’ve know him since I was about 8. I was never really just me, I was always a girlfriend or the fiancé or the wife, then mother. Now I’m just a mum, a wife with no husband, I feel I have no identity anymore
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There is a song that a friend of mine sent to me when my wife passed away! Its called, jealous of the angels by Donna Taggart, it’s beautiful and it summed up everything I was feeling at the time, I had it played at Eileen’s funeral, have a listen to it if you get chance x
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Link to the song, jealous of the angels, have a listen x https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n67dSG35L4
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Kath, i have to admit i cried when i first heard it, it’s a beautiful song though.
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I lost my wife to covid in January. Can’t believe she is gone we used to walk round the park everyday I still do I down loaded an app on my phone to record my self and talk to her about my life now and what I have been doing. I usually end up crying but it is helpful
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Beautiful! 
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Thank you Barb, I thought so too, the lyrics really hit home for me, said everything about how I felt at the time.
Yeah Tony that was a lovely song definitely hits out to most of us, I pefered the original by Jenn Bostic but regardless of who sings it the words are beautiful.
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Heartbreaking but such beautiful words, thank you x
Lilyboost, your welcome x
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Me too.I lost my whole world when my darling passed away 3 weeks ago to that evil cancer.This sick empty feeling inside is all consuming,it leaves you numb.All I can think about is her and how wonderful it was to be with her and now nothing.How do you ever get used to that feeling. Michael.
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Take it easy. It will take some time for you to adjust and it is hard. Other people may not ‘get it’ but we know and understand what you are going through. Try to get out a bit if you can, even though you may not really feel like it. Take care.
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Thank you for your support.
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I found it easier to cope at first as you tend to try to keep going in spite of how you feel it is only as time goes by and people expect you to cope that you feel lost at my age I am finding I am losing all my family slowly lynn
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Lynn, I know the feeling, I rarely get family visiting the House now! Think it could be because of the memories but I don’t know, I do have a good neighbour though who calls over and talks to me which is great because it eases the loneliness, I still visit my mother in law because we were always close because my wife and I were always there for her, she has dementia too so she is forgetful and sometimes mentions Eileen as if she is still alive, its really sad for her and I feel that I should be there for her.
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Life is cruel but acceptance is the hardest part it will get easier Lynn
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My husband’s mother’s illness was accelerated when my husband died. She went from being independent to being bed ridden in a home. Like you, I keep going and visiting her because I owe it to my husband (he looked after my mum well) and she is a link to him. It just saddens me so much that his death has done this to her and she is having to live like this. It just adds to my heartbreak and my kid’s - they’ve lost their dad and now their Gran is not who she was.
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I am saddened for you …I am a year on from losing my partner of 32 years in dreadful circumstances so i know how you are feeling.I won’t patronise you by telling you time heals cos right now nothing does…Please keep talking to your support network and on here and i am thinking of you…Deb
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