Thank you Deb for your support,I need as much as I can get just now as I am right at the bottom of the pit.32 years ,the same as me.Time does not heal as you say and I am running out of time.Michael.
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Jules, it’s so sad to see them going through this, not only have they lost a Son/Daughter in my case, but dealing with grief while they are also dealing with the trauma of dementia is truly heartbreaking, my wife would have been so upset to see her mum going through all this and it also upsets me a lot too, dealing with this as well as my own grief is so stressful, i will try my best though to look after her as well as i can because Eileen is not here for her.
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Exactly what I’m trying to do - keep seeing her and talking to her as he can’t be here to do it. My husband would be heart broken - at least he doesn’t have to see it happening. Take care
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You too, hold on to the precious memories and look after yourself.
I feel the same…hold on you will come to accept your life is going to be very different …And you will smile again
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Yes but I never wanted this different life Deborah,I miss her so much every minute like we all do on here.How on earth are we supposed to carry on without the reason that made it all possible,I just want to fade away ,go to sleep and not wake up.Michael.
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Micheal…I know my luv…i know i didn’t want this life either …The shock sadness and overwhelming misery is so terrible…In the first week of Chris dying i crashed the car walked around in a daze for months …I just don’t want you to give up…Vinny Jones the footballer wether you like him or not said when his wife Tania died …“get up every morning and make your bed”…i am only a year n a month on and i just keep getting up …Don’t think too far ahead…if you are physically well get out the door and walk …Its the hardest thing you will ever go through Micheal and keep talking.You are raw with grief and pain but you must go on …
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Micheal…keep going please
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Thank you so much for the kind words,it does help when someone cares how you are feeling.I have her pictures all over the house ,I loved her to the moon and back.This is the hardest thing as well,I lost my Son when he was 28 hit by a car but my lovely wife got me through that ordeal but now I am alone to deal with her passing on my own.
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I know exactly how you are feeling…I am shocked reading you lost your son at only 28 years of age…We are all struggling through Micheal i attended a funeral yesterday of a father of two boys killed in a motor bike accident at the age of 42…The whole family just clinging on…Keep going Michael and keep talking
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I dread every day now,same feeling as soon as I wake up,wish I did not wake up at all.This is no life ,my ended 4 weeks ago today when my beautiful wife passed away in front of me ,I died that day.My life is over,wish I could end it in someway.So alone,nobody visits,hardly anyone calls me now,it is as if it never happened.The gut wrenching pain in my stomach is too much too bear.Feeling sick all the time,no appetite,cannot sleep because of the nightmares of seeing her losing her fight with cancer.I am in a very dark place and today it has got even worse.
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You have to hang on Mickey, your wife sounds like such a loving person, I’m sure she would want you to carry on, try and get some help, I’m trying to find counselling myself, as I have no one to talk to, I try to keep it in as I don’t want to upset my children, or overburden them, they are only 14 and 17. I think, apart from the lovely people on here, we need people to talk to who wont be upset by our anger and fear and all those jumbled up feeling, family will never really get it unless they’ve lived through this hell we’re in. Xx
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I totally get where you are coming from, the feeling of heartache and pain, the feeling of being isolated and lonely is so hard to bear, I feel like nobody really cares, its an awful feeling, don’t know what to do most of the time, too much time goes by just thinking about her and just wishing she would come back to me, nearly 4 months gone and I feel worse than ever, when will it ever get any better I wonder.
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Keep going Michael I felt the same as you still do at times. I don’t know where I would have been without my wonderful family. I’m in tears for you knowing the anguish and the pain you are going through it does get better although the loss you are feeling doesn’t. I sat up night after night watching my wife the love of my life slowly withering away. Keep talking my friend we are all united in the grief through the loss of a loved one.
I had some counselling in the early days but unless they have lost a loved they can’t possibly understand the heartache and the pain we are going through this forum is helping me more than anything else knowing I’m not alone in this.
Kindest regards Doug
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Thank you Dougb, your kind words give me some hope.Yes I am going through hell just now,missing her so much it hurts like nothing before.I am waiting for counselling ,why does it take so long when you are in need of it urgently.Michael.
Yes I feel the same,nobody knows what it is like until it happens to them and then you are in this nightmare living hell after losing the person you have loved for years.Michael.
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I am trying to hang on but it is so hard.Counsellor not been in touch yet.WHY.I try to talk to a friend every day and it helps.Yes and this living hell is so hard to cope with,never new grief could be so cruel.Michael.
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Losing someone so dear and in such awful circumstances is the hardest thing to bear Micheal and it feels pointless to carry on …you are in the very early stages of grief and are in dire need of berevement counselling .Yet like you say the waiting lists are shockingly long…practical advice Micheal use this site …get out and walk if you can …keep talking tell people you are in pain …no brave face…and be kind to yourself …make yourself eat …get up and try to organise your day.Baby steps Micheal
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I was lucky in that way I work for a mental health company who provide bereavement counselling but as I have said until they themselves go through what we and our fellow contributors are going through a lot of it is just taught responses.
It’s crap having to wait for counselling meanwhile your going through hell day by day. It’s a bad time as everything seems to take so much longer with this virus. Please try to keep strong I have to be forced at times by my daughter to pick myself up and get out to meet up with friends and family it will come just give it chance. Doug
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Yes it is crap waiting for counselling when you are desperate to talk to someone.I have made several calls to them but nothing back as yet.This lonely life is not for me ,I have always had my darling wife here to love and cherish.I am now 76 and scrared stiff of facing the future all on my own.This empty house has nothing left for me now.The huge garden was looked after by my precious ,it is much too much for me,I already had to get someone in to cut it back a bit and that costs money.As the weeks go by the calls from friends start to stop and it gets more lonely.Cancer is evil when it takes lovely people who never harmed anyone,all the rotten ones get away with it .Michael.