When I lost you.

Just wanted to share this with you all.

I wish I could see you one more time come walking through the door.
But I know that’s impossible, I will hear your voice no more.
I know you can feel my tears and you don’t want me to cry.
Yet my heart is broken because I can’t understand why someone so precious had to die.
I pray that God will give me strength and somehow get me through as I struggle with this heartache that came when I lost you.

Jay xx

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So lovely xx

Hi Jay ,
How I relate to that I loss my beloved husband age 50 12wks ago.
Feel so loss without him was my soulmate we did all together and when at home in an empty house it’s terrible never known.pain like it.
Going to try start up a greif group where can do zoom to connect to others going through same pain to share chat .

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Hi Maxkinahan1

I feel the pain you are going through.
I’m sure we are all in the same place, and it’s unbearable to say the least.

Not sure what Zoom is (my IT skills are nil), but I’m sure a grief group will be welcomed.

Jay

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Hi,
It helps me knowing people are sharing the same pain and understand what we are all going through
X
Thank you

I’ve been staying at my brothers every weekend , but had my covid jab booked in for today so stayed at home this weekend . Struggling today . I lost my husband 12 weeks ago x

My Daughter came to stay the first week in January when my partner went into hospital and went home a week ago.
The house seems so quiet and I realise I now live here alone and I’m responsible for checking every light is off and the doors need locking etc.
Reality is setting in ,that this is now my life😢

Hello Paula71
Horrible lonely life I can’t stand it
My husband passed December the 5th
My son took me food shopping today I cried at the checkout
The sobs just came I couldn’t stop them
Been in bed since 5 can’t sit in living room
I stay in bed most days to 12 ish
Take care xx

Hi Debbie

I usually cry when I get to the car. When I walk around the shop I forget what I went in for. Other day paid for shopping and then left some in the shopping basket. I know that I was lost forever after I lost my husband.

Today cleared out the garage of his motorbike items. Cried and cried. His friends did not say anything. I only hope they consider giving up their bikes so that their wives do not face the hell that I now live every day.

Thinking of you.
Sheila

Hello Sheila26
So hard isn’t it never felt pain like this
I really can’t do anything all I do most days is walk down the cemetery
I am going to have to go back work soon dreading going back
Must have been hard to let go off the bikes I sold Andy car
Had to empty it wow breaks you doesn’t it
Please take care xx

Hi Debbie

It really is hard. I did not like his bikes and did not share his enthusiasm for them. He died riding the bike so it was only the spares he had accumulated over the years that his friends had to clear but it took them over 2 hours. Although I hated his hobby I just feel getting rid removes another part of him. I still have his car to get rid of and that will be truly terrible as it has more meaning and yes it will need to be emptied.

I would ask work to arrange a phased return for you. It would be unfair to expect you to go back full-time and resume your full responsibilities.

I struggle to get out of bed, getting washed is a rarity now and I stay up late.

Take care and keep posting.

Sheila

Sheila26
Debbie55

Morning
I went to Asda with my daughter on Thursday and I sobbed I couldn’t stay in the shop not buying his favourite biscuits and other items.
I am lonely lost and empty without him.
Sheila I thought of you my Tim had a work truck which his friend came and emptied of his tools and personal items it broke me so I know how hard it must have been.
I have my vaccine today another reminder Tim was so near getting his.
Debbie I do hope work will be kind to you and yes a phased back to work would help you.
I am not sure when I will be ready for work just getting up is hard enough.

Virtual hugs,

:yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

Hi

Thank you. Today is another day but the house is so quiet. There is nothing that I can bring myself to do. I have to go to local tip to get rid of some of the things but keep putting it off. No motivation for anything anymore - there really is no point.

Take care.

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Everything is a struggle.
I have zero energy and feel emotionally drained.
Can’t seem to concentrate to read or watch tv.
Just feel demotivated .
X

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I needed a screwdriver the other day and had to go and look where Geoff kept all his tools.
I just sat and sobbed holding and smelling his tool bag because it was the smell of him when he did any job around the house.
Also cry when I go shopping because we always did that together too and he would always sneak something in the trolley usually chocolate or biscuits. Hate just buying for myself.
Was my birthday on Friday, no surprises from him, no meal deal, no birthday cake, no bottle of wine in the evening. He always went out of his way to make my day perfect. :broken_heart:
Jacky xx

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Dear Jacky

My husband had tools that he made as an apprentice ad my son has asked for them. Like you going and finding their tools to have to fix something yourself is heartbreaking. I can see my husband walking in with his electrical tool box or his big sack tool bag for the other jobs.

Despite having a little grandson and two kids, they have their own lives to live and I feel I have no purpose now. Me and husband both worked at a factory close to where my son lives and I found myself driving there this afternoon and sitting outside remembering our early ‘courting’ days. Heartbroken since my return to an empty house.

Friends are already posting on Facebook how they are making preparations to have family/friend meet ups. I just want to see my husband again, tell him how much I love him and hold him in my arms. I just do not want this new life, I have no life without my husband by my side.

Hi Sheila26 I so feel your pain, I’ve been crying for the last hour or two. I’ve been listening to music, so many memories right from the first time we met and he asked me to dance
He loved a party or a ‘do’ as he called it. Always the first to be tipsy and the last off the dance floor.
I can’t believe I’ll never dance with him again. :sob:
All I want right now is a good old chin wag with him and a big fat hug.
I knew the music would make me cry but it bought us so much happiness and I don’t want to forget that.
My sister has already invited me up for a bbq when we are allowed, but I’m already imagining it without him and then having to come home on my own. Have to book a taxi, we would have walked home usually with me holding his arm making sure he didn’t fall of the kerb :rofl:
Sounds a bit like he was drunk all the time, but no! Only on special occasions where we used to laugh so much.
He was so silly, only person I know who lit fireworks with his blowtorch.
Grandchildren thought he was hilarious. xxxxxx
Love and hugs Jacky

Hi Jacky

My husband was so quiet until there was a party. He thought he was John Travolta on the dancefloor not the ‘dad-dancer’ that he was. We went to a family wedding in 2018 and he and our son had a ‘dance-off’. Still makes me smile.

My husband loved Carol Carpenter so at his funeral we played one of their songs. Ever since the radio has played the Carpenters on a daily basis.

I really do not want to imagine a life without him. To me there is no life. I have already made a conscious decision to avoid family gatherings or party invites. It will never be the same and I feel everyone will be celebrating and I know that I won’t be able to.

Take care
Sheila

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It’s so sad that we are all experiencing the same emotions.
I’m dreading the lighter evenings as the days will be so much longer.
He loved the summer and pottering in the garden,it won’t be the same without him.
However I’ve started to write a journal today.
I’m putting how I’m feeling telling him about the day etc.
I’ve read this can help as time goes by.
Nothing ventured,nothing gained.
Ixx

Dear Paula

Yes that is a good idea. I have been sending my husband emails since he died. I can tell him things that I would normally have done. I never go back to see what I have said. Sometimes they are quite angry. I really am struggling to forgive him for leaving me in the way he did, but then I break down because I know that he will be heartbroken he is not here to see our little grandson grow up. Life is just so cruel.

Sheila

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