Awwww I’m sorry to hear this about your husband having a cardiac arrest bless him. For me I just find a long walk kind of helps but obviously you having ms is totally different. It would be amazing if you could get out in your mobility scooter and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks as it will be for you and I’m very sure your lovely husband would want you to try and get out for yourself too as I know my lady wouldn’t want me staying indoors being miserable so I’m trying to get out once a week to help clear my mind as now since COVID no counsellors are willing to talk face to face which is so frustrating for not just me but for a lot of people in our situation. Keep strong and keep talking too as it does help but for me last year I could talk about it but this year I seem to have problems talking about it
after my loss, I understand so well being formal and polite all the time as you have lost your intimate family, partners and your communications become ones with friends and acquaintances work colleagues and you cannot be that way with them. it is horrible.
I have ended up talking my private feelings to my dog how sad is that but at least it helps as we have lost the one we share our most intimate feelings with
It’s also the physical presence I miss so much. Where you can just sit in silence with each other but have a whole conversation without saying a word. The one person who gets all of you…the good the bad and the ugly. More than anything I miss his voice, his laughter and just looking into his eyes with a feeling of ’ I belong’
I miss all the things you mentioned also just sitting feeling comfortable with someone is so nice like you said warts and all not having to put on a smile or pretend all is well and him saying would you like a cup of tea babe
Walking and exersize helps mental health loads. Definitely good advice
I am sure it wouldnt have made that big a difference bless you
What a lovely thing to say
I have to say that I miss my wife and the presence she had in our home as she used to be up about 6.30am watching her favourite TV programs then about 8.30am I used to send her a message for a cuppa of coffee then she would bring me this coffee then get in bed and we would have our morning cuddles whilst watching TV for an hour then I would get up and she would too. I talk to her everyday as I miss her voice and her laugh too and her cuddles and sitting on the sofa cuddling watching TV too. I used to love surprising her too and take her out to a castle or a historical monument then we would have a pub meal to finish the day off. Omg I miss her so much and cooking for her too. I so wish she was coming home which I know she won’t be. It’s so hard to live missing your partner and when you come home and there not there except a wall of silence which I hate so I turn the TV on to break the silence
My wife died almost a year ago I have had no visitors at all. All the people we knew just don’t bother or care. I do without them and just enjoy as best I can our home we built.
Dave 1162 I’m so sorry to hear you have know one come round . I suppose I’m the same as you as all my wife’s friends and family have turned there backs on me but then all the family have pushed the wrong buttons with me and so I’ve told them to keep away from me because the way they treated my wife before she died and after she died . My wife died last April so her first anniversary is coming up which will kill me cause this time last year she was still alive and it breaks my heart every time I think about her. We just have to keep going and be strong so that’s why now I’ve started going for a long walk on my days off
Long walks swimming once a week no alcohol housework talk to my wife all day. I am existing not really living
I understand the existing and not really living
I feel the same - I long for company but they just don’t replace one’s lifetime partner. I feel a profound loneliness when they leave as the silence hurts but it is a reminder of the person you really want. I find one- to- one visits best as this allows you to open up your feelings which you can’t do in a crowd. Don’t become a hermit though as we all need people! Sending hugs x
Similar situation my partner son I was totally shocked at his behaviour and attitude towards me it was as thought I never existed so very cold after 34 years . I am unable to forgive him at least our friends have still stayed in contact they were my support . it is hard for me as as it is my partners birthday in April this will be the 1st year without him
I haven’t heard from my husband son and daughter since he passed after 32 years he would be so upset about it thank goodness I am not as I expected them to be like this . I don’t understand people and never will and have given up trying to .
I am trying nuts I can’t go out on my own nothing to do nowhere to go
I find it sad now and I know my partner would be horrified and suprised too at the behaviour
I try and find comfort in the fact I am the same person
Don’t let them make you feel any less than you are I made them welcome for 32 years and always was treated as the outsider and they treated their dad badly also and he knew it . It feels strange to be no longer in touch with them but it’s for the best .
On the topic of family . My husbands two brothers one of which lives 10 minutes from us never once asked how he was through his treatments and didn’t attend the funeral. My husband was good and kind their had been no fall out