There is not a day that goes past that I dont start crying…it is over the two same old things of " I wish I could put the clock back to the day we stepped into our brand new bricks and mortar 3 bed-roomed home in a Bedfordshire village complete with my dog, then soon after we got another 2 dogs, I had my little runaround trusted car, I had Richard, we were both a tad younger and both had our health, I had everything I ever needed, now all is gone…I also cry over that I wasnt with him in the lounge room when he needed me the most, when he passed away, this will forever haunt me as I have mentioned, he was always there for me, he was that reliable, and the one time I may have been able to have helped him ( I will never know whether that would have been possible ) but I wasn’t…
Richard is at peace, but I will never be, my mind will never come to terms with what took place on that fateful morning nor can I get it out of my mind the day we stepped into our house with the intentions of our whole future ahead of us…One by one it has all gone, first one of our dogs, then the second, then our third and now Richard has gone, I have gone from someone who had everything to having and lost everything…I was meant to go before him, not the other way around…
Hi everyone. Am feeling a bit proud of myself today. I’ve headed off on a holiday to Bude all by myself. 50 miles to go. I feel I’ve actually achieved something after 7 months xx
Cassie…
…your John is there with you, he is by your side and it is making him happy that you are getting on with your life and taking him along with you, if not in body, in spirit…
Jackie, we all find something to feel guilty about when we lose someone so precious, I have been told. To me your feelings of guilt prove how much you loved your Richard. I have been told this, Mary x x x x x
Lesley…
…reading your post then finding your hubby’s name was also a Richard makes me feel a bond with you…Yes my Richard was always there for me, he put me first all the time even if I didn’t realise it at the time…In all the years I had known him I had never ever known him to be unreliable or to ever let anyone down…So much in hindsight I took for granted…
I too felt the same after the death of my partner.
Thought back and remembered all the times he was so caring, always trying to please me and I just took it for granted.
Sometimes I didn’t even notice the little things only looking back could I see how much he did to make my life happier without thinking of himself.
So very sad I didn’t appreciate more what he did for me at the time and now it’s too late to say thank you for everything.
Hi Jackie,
Yes how strange, they have the same name. My Richard was like your, a true gentleman, he was so kind and thoughtful. Did everything for me, and loved to do so. How do we move on without them. I feel the same as you, did I take it for granted, did I take time to appreciate him ? I too feel a connection with you, I think the name stood out !
Here if you want o chat
Thinking of you, Lesley X
That’s all I do constantly thinking of how we met, things we did together, yes I took things for granted too, always beating myself up about it. Keep playing our old songs we used to sing together, it’s heartbreaking and I start crying, I’m writing a journal mostly to my David focusing on our life together, remembering our 46 years together not in order, just little reminders of our life our children, the things we did together as a couple, they were always simple things, but of course they mean so much to me now. Got loads of pictures of us getting old together, how the time has flown by, yes I surely must have blinked, didn’t stop to appreciate it all, which makes me so sad. I know I must move on without him, but it’s really really hard. Reading the posts on here helps me knowing I’m not alone. Never thought I would be going through this torment. Big hugs to everyone, because that’s what we need, someone to talk to and be listened to.
I agree we just want someone to talk to, someone who’s gong through this torment a coffee a chat, everybody just lives so far away. But as a community I do read the posts. I’m from the Cannock chase area Staffordshire.
Hello, I am from Bedfordshire and lost my beloved husband in May 2017. I think it is a wonderful idea if people from the same area could meet up for a coffee and chart, even if it is only once a month and arrangement could be made say at various places to suit everyone. It is good to talk especially to people in the same situation as we are. Bless you all.
Yes, I think it would be also. How lovely if it could not be arranged for people who I’ve near each other so we can support and just have a general chat.