Hi everyone. I’m from Cumbernauld outside Glasgow and really agree with the wish that we could meet up for coffee as only those in the same position really get what we are going through. I lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly four years ago and still really struggle with the whole living alone and without a significant other in my life. Big hugs to you all. xx
Hi Janie I’m Maire from Cumbernauld originally from the south side of Glasgow where many of my family (including my son) still live. Where are you living? x
I lost my wonderful husband September. 2018… The loneliness never goes.
I am in South Lincolnshire… Why not pop in for a cuppa.
Hi im so sorry for your loss I lost my soulmate of seventeen years on October the 24th gone so it’s six months 11 days today utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes your in my thoughts take as much care as possible x
Hi I live near Sedgefield too. I’m 54, my hubby was 49. He passed away 5 weeks ago following a diagnosis only 3 weeks before of pancreatic cancer. I have one daughter and one granddaughter (so far)
I don’t have many friends locally as I’m not from area so would be very happy to meet for coffee and cake xx
Hi I’m from Yorkshire and lost my mum suddenly after Christmas. Regarding the afterlife I totally believe there is something. After I lost mum my partner and I were talking about our macaw saying mum would have loved him, anyway to cut a long story short not long after my partner goes in his room where the macaw is and says to me have you been spraying in here it smells of lavender. So I walked in and yes it smelt strongly of lavender something we don’t have in the house. Then my partner replied it’s your mum she’s been to look at the macaw. Next time we went to her house we realised every room has a lavender air freshener in it so yes mum came to visit. Even at her funeral a dog started barking as they lowered her in the cemetery, mum lived for her dogs I swear she was saying I’m here.
I would love to see a medium but finding one that’s not a rip off, so if anyone has any suggestions especially in Yorkshire would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post xx
Hello again, Pat, It is good to hear from you again. I like Facebook, purely because, I can see many of my family who live abroad, I love to see how my nephews and nieces growing. We used to have a large family, now I am the oldest relative of all. I have lost so many recently, I had 2 cousins, Jack and Tony who were more like brothers to me, I loved them such a lot. Sadly both of them have passed away and I do miss them, not as much as I miss my brother, John, I just cannot get used to being without him, it is 3 and a half years since he passed away. We were very close, we used to ring each other at least once a week. I may have told you, that he developed a lung disease, idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis for which there is no cure. He was taken into hospital with pneumonia in October 1915, naturally I was very worried about him. on the 5th November 1915. our phone rang and much to my relief and delight our John’s name appeared on the screen, I thought thank God, he is well enough to ring me. Much to my horror it was his wife who said “John wants to say goodbye”. I was so shocked, my initial response when he came to the phone (in hospital) was “John are you dying”? of all the daft things to say. He answered “Yes, love and I want to say goodbye and to tell you that I love you sweetheart”. I replied, “Go to your rest, love and be at peace”, he said "Good bye and I love you, I just couldn’t believe it, Pat, he passed away 3 days later, thank God all his children were with him, they had flown from, New Zealand, South Africa, Brazil and Libya, I thank God that they stayed with him until he passed. I couldn’t go to the funeral, for one thing it was too far away but the main reason I couldn’t bear to see his coffin, he did live 160 miles away. He and his wife did not get on and I know that there are always 2 sides to situations, but she told me herself that she did not want him anymore, she couldn’t cope with illness. He was a good kind man, Pat who would have done anything for anyone. Of course he had his faults, but after his wife had told him that she didn’t want him anymore, he stopped taking his medication and went to live in an old caravan with his dog. Six months to the day, Stan. my husband found my dearest friend after having a major stroke. She died 4 weeks later. I prayed to God not to take her, we had been friends for nearly 72 years, we knew that we could always depend upon each other and never let each other down. So there we are, Pat, life is so cruel at times, a couple of years ago Stan was diagnosed with prostate cancer, he had some treatment, which appeared to work. He was ill for some time after his treatment finished, after a number of visits to our GP with no success, our daughter took him to the A & E at our hospital, he was admitted at once. The doctors and staff thought he was riddled with cancer, he had lost so much weight, thank God a full MRI showed that he had a kidney infection, he was in 2 weeks, he is in respite care at the moment, next Tuesday our daughter is taking him down to Ashbourne in Derbyshire to care for him, where she lives. It is very beautiful scenery down there and I am sure it will do him good. I am sorry if I have bored you with my tale of woe, I do think about you and mention you in my prayers every night. I feel that we have formed a good friendship and my heart goes out to you in your grief. I have said before, that one day, when the time is right we shall all be together again. Take care, my new friend, Mary x x x
From Hertfordshire, moved to Bedfordshire now living in Dorset but sadly I lost my partner of 19 years just 5 weeks ago…Like many I feel totally lost and now facing the bereavement process, the funeral-cremation of Richard only took place just 11 days ago…His ashes will be taken back home to Bedfordshire…Bedfordshire-Hertfordshire are where I consider to be home…Hertfordshire is where my parents and family are buried…
Hello Mary, so pleased to hear from you. Of course you haven’t bored me, I am just so sorry that you have had such a worrying time. It is said that god doesn’t give us any more than we can cope with but my goodness he does test some of us.
When Brian was first ill in 2008, we lost his best friend, a sudden death, my best friend, my beloved dog and then my mother, again suddenly all in four months and I couldn’t get there in time (4 hr journey). In between Brian was in ITU on a life support and had three operations in three months, 2 emergencies at the end of the year came to the cancer diagnosis which we hadn’t expected. So a year I would never forget, along with ten years later 2018 when Brian Died defying all the odds thank goodness to have lived another ten years.
You are all in my prayers. Pat xxx
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Hi Emma
So sorry to hear your sad news.
I lost my husband to Cancer 11 weeks ago.
I have no family at all and all alone. I bet your children keep you going. I wish I had children or family, its very lonely on your own.
Keep your chin up, Soldier on for your childrens sake. Regards Suex
I lost my precious love last September. Live in South Lincs…
… Few family, which are well spread so am alone most of the time.
Hi Although my circumstances are different as it is my mum I lost at Christmas I do understand the feeling of being alone. My own children live miles from me as I did mum but I use to call her every day. The only time I hear from my girls is if I call them, I do have a partner but he has never had to grieve yet so doesn’t understand how I feel and tbh doesn’t talk much anyway he has other issues to contend with. So it’s just me alone with my grief, which seems to overwhelm me at the moment. I have no friends where I live as only moved here last year and keep myself to myself so very hard going alone. That is why I am here I find this forum a big help just knowing I am not alone.
Hello, Jackie - Richard,
I am sure you will find a great deal of comfort within this group of wonderful people, how I feel for you, 5 weeks is no time at all and I am sorry that you are going through so much pain. I do believe that grief is the price we pay for love and my goodness it is a very high price but one worth every tear. I shall be 80 in August and my husband, Stan. is 84 years old. i have had so many bereavements over the last few years, sometimes I dread picking up the phone. You may have read my very long post of a few days ago, where I discuss losing my beloved younger brother. It is 3 and a half years since he passed away and I still miss him as much as if it was yesterday, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 2 years ago, he has had treatment, which so far successful, but we dare not take things for granted, dare we? At the moment he is in respite care, due to leave this coming Tuesday, going to our daughter and husbands’ in Ashbourne, Derbyshire. We are so lucky that we have such caring children, our son is very caring too, it must be horrible not to have your own to turn to at times like this. I have very poor health, this is why I am staying at home, I don’t mind being alone, but I realise it is a different kettle of fish when it is temporary ( I hope). Please keep your chin up, one day the sun will shine for you, I do believe that when the time is right, we shall all be together again. Mary x
Mary…
…I am 68, Richard was older than me at 74 but thought-believed he would be one who would lives into his 100s, his sister is 9 years older than him and his mother lived into her 8os I believe…Well up until a few years ago he was overweight but relatively healthy apart from being diabetic which was under control…Then he was diagnosed with COPD followed recently by being anaemic of which he was given an iron infusion not long before Christmas but the shock t both of us was after Richard being told that once they sort out his iron-anaemia they would be calling him in to do open heart surgery on one of his valves…Well after the iron infusion his breathing had improved but his last couple of weeks I had noticed it was becoming back again…
I was even thinking he would outlive me, I have MS from the age of 64…would you belive the same date 11th April he passed away from the same date I was diagnosed with MS…also the same date one of my-our dogs passed away 10 years ago, was on an Easter Saturday…
I am saddened to read-hear your darling hubby is dealing with cancer, I lost both my parents to cancer when I was in my 20s and 30s…also the loss of your brother who’s memories are etched in your heart…
You are so right Mary, nothing in this world we should take for granted, this is what I keep telling myself over and over again, I have been spoilt these past 17 years, I always knew it had to come to an end one day, that day was 11th April 2019…mid day…
Jackie…
Dear Pat, Thank you for your reply, you certainly went through a bad time and I am so sorry. Thank goodness for the age of computers and communications, I do not know how people managed in the old days. I am smiling as I type this, gosh, I am one of the oldies now. I am feeling upset today, our daughter is taking her dad to stay with her and her husband for more respite care. I didn’t think about it, but the number of people who have asked me if I am going has made me think, why not. I know that you are in a more sad situation than me, but am I being unreasonable to have my feelings hurt so much. I just wondered if it is me, I have been alone for 6 weeks and a few more weeks ahead of me. I would appreciate your thoughts. Love, Mary x
Dear Pat, Thank you for your reply, you certainly went through a bad time and I am so sorry. Thank goodness for the age of computers and communications, I do not know how people managed in the old days. I am smiling as I type this, gosh, I am one of the oldies now. I am feeling upset today, our daughter is taking her dad to stay with her and her husband for more respite care. I didn’t think about it, but the number of people who have asked me if I am going has made me think, why not. I know that you are in a more sad situation than me, but am I being unreasonable to have my feelings hurt so much. I just wondered if it is me, I have been alone for 6 weeks and a few more weeks ahead of me. I would appreciate your thoughts. Love, Mary x
Hello again, Jackie, thank you for your reply, my heart aches for you, I do believe that the “grief” pain is the most difficult of all to deal/cope with. I have COPD too to add to that I have an inherited blood disorder called porphyria, it is very unpleasant the main thing is, I am allergic to the sun, which means I am practically housebound, otherwise I break out in painful blisters, there are other nasties too. with which I won’t bore you with. I thank God for my computer, I love reading and I have become rather a TV addict. Stan is being released 
from the care home tomorrow and going to our daughter and her husband’s home in Derbyshire. I know I am being selfish but how I wish he was coming home, it will do him the world of good being pampered by We li his beloved daughter. We have recently become great grand parents, so Stan will see the baby., I think that I am a bit envious, but I must think of Stan’s well being. Your husband did well to overcome diabetes and COPD, I wish you all the best, Jackie, God bless, Mary x
Mary…
…I too thank God for Richards computer, I would be very lost now without it but, it was the computer room I was in on that fateful morning that Richard took himself into the living room, sat down in one of our two armchairs and passed away, I wasn’t in the room with him when he needed me the most…I have to now live with this and it will haunt me for the rest of my life as he was always there for me and the one time I should have been there for him, I wasn’t but I didn’t know what was to happen on that fateful morning as you see he had just taken our dog to the pet groomers with the intention of driving the 20-30 minutes back to collect him in a couple of hours time, so none of us was expecting what was soon to be…It was only when the phone rang that alerted me to go check on him…I had the shock of my life…
Jackie…
Morning Jackie-a Richard
Just read your message, I too struggle with the fact that I wasn’t with my husband right when he needed me the most. We were together so much of the time, and I loved that about us. But on that day, though it was completely unexpected, he wasn’t ill, not overweight, didn’t smoke and was fit, so I was in work. I know I couldn’t have done anything any different, but nearly a year on that haunts me the most, I wasn’t with him.
Dear Jackie
You have had such a shock
I am still in shock after what happened last summer at home with my husband
When I wake up in the morning in bed I instantly think that this was the last place we were together before he got up to go to the bathroom to get dressed …he always left his clothes there …and collapsed with a sudden cardiac arrest
I won’t go into everything that happened after that but having been resuscitated at home he died 3 days later in ITU
To go from being married to a lovely vibrant man with plans for the day ahead …to a widow within a couple of days has been completely shocking and traumatic
I feel for you
I really do
I don’t cry as much now
There is no point
He is not coming back
But I carry him in my heart and let our love for each other be my strength
I hope doing the same will help you too
Sending hugs and understanding
Romy xxxxx