And something nice to eat. Home made shepherds pie.
1 Like
Sunday my friend is bringing me a lamb roast dinner so air fryer now going back to Monday.
I’m so pleased Sandra, two lovely meals to look forward to, not such a bad weekend this week!
Just got back from lunch with my friend Sandra! It’s the coming back into an empty home. I hate it and will never get used to it. I’m sure I shall go mad talking to myself. xx
Except my stomach has just kicked off again and once again I am crying. It has to be grief. I was fine this morning. I don’t think a bowl of bran flakes would cause this. Back to the toast. Should be ok for Saturday. The empty house is horrible. But at least it is clean as my friend who cleans for me was here this morning.
So sorry, I’ve read that our stomachs are very susceptible to problems due to grief. Mine churns over such as it used to when I was taking exams, etc. Our lives are just turned upside down. Hope you feel better tomorrow. xx
I really miss the hugs. The last hug I had was from the gardener when he came and I was in tears. I really wish I had a physical shoulder to cry on.
1 Like
Sandra, I just want my husband to kiss, hug, talk to, laugh with … anything. I do get a hug from my brother, though! xx
1 Like
We have never been a family that hugs.
@Rome18
It certainly is an evil illness.
Like you, my husband was diagnosed unexpectedly. He was on his own in hospital at the time and I remember him phoning me in tears and asking me to come straight down. As far as we knew he was in there because of his platelets which he had been having treatment for for over twenty years. It is the shock when they tell you and it was so unfair as the three other patients in the ward could hear everything that was said to him and I wasn’t even there when they told him.
My lovely husband was so fit and healthy, he never smoked and very seldom drank. He was not over weight , he exercised regularly, ate very healthy meals.
He only lost a bit of weight while in hospital and when he passed away he looked healthy and well, does that make any sense?
I am sorry you are having bad dreams Rosemary, I wish you could have peaceful ones. I have only dreamed of my husband twice, just after I lost him, and in both dreams he was crying.
Cancer is so cruel, how I wish they would find a cure or maybe give everyone a health check yearly so if anything is wrong we would have a better chance of a cure.
I hope you have a better nights sleep.
Sending hugs Alison xx
2 Likes
@Pudding
I am sorry to hear your stomach is bad Sandra. It must be the stress of the grief causing it. As if there weren’t enough things to worry about as it is.
It will be lovely when your brother and sister in law visit you.
I spend a lot of time indoors as I just don’t want to go out on my own. A friend picked me up yesterday and we went for a coffee. I must admit, I did enjoy being out of the house. Today I have been at home but had to go out and do the front garden, which I don’t enjoy. A couple of neighbours came over and we had a chat. Tomorrow I am going to my sisters.
From reading your posts it looks like you have some nice meals to look forward to, Good luck with your air fryer. I had one but didn’t get on very well with it. My sister has one and uses it to do everything in, her oven is unused. I guess I didn’t have the patience to read the instruction book properly.
I hope you manage to get a good nights sleep and tomorrow will be slightly better for you.
Sending hugs, Alison xx
Thank you Alison. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Think positive. My knees haven’t hurt today. The problem with this grief if it just waits until you are vulnerable and then attacks. Next Thursday is very busy. My friend, a survey to look at whether I can have a bidet toilet fitted which I would have to pay for and the gardener coming. Maybe I can get another hug from the gardener. Xx
@Alir
My husband was fit and healthy, too, a good diet, didn’t smoke, the odd glass of red wine and still played a competitive game of tennis and walked a lot.
Sorry your husband had to hear the devastating news in such an appalling way without you there. We at least were in a private room, although the consultant’s manner made it all the worse. So off handed.
Life doesn’t get any better, with all the heartbreaking memories and living without them.
I had a vivid dream just after Richard passed away, I was looking out of a window and saw him running down the road, I went down to meet him and we hugged. There was a wheelchair at the side of me which he obviously didn’t need anymore. It was wonderful to see him without it, if only in a dream. The tumour on his pelvic bone eventually caused his immobility.
Take care, hugs, Rosemary
@Pudding
Ahh , bless you. I don’t think you are sorry for yourself, it is natural to feel like this. Some one said to me that grief is like the ocean, some days the water is very rough and we go under but manage to bob up again and keep our heads out of the water. Other days it is calmer and our heads stay above water and one day it will be little ripples and we will float. I am still waiting to float, lol.
It is nice to have days to look forward to, next Thursday sounds like it will be a good and busy day for you.
I keep saying that when I move house I am going to join clubs, go for a walk every day and make an effort to be active on the days I am at home. I am not sure if I will but at the moment I feel positive about the future. As you say, grief hits us and we are back to square one. This journey is awful but it is good to have this forum and be able to talk to people who understand what it is like.
I hope you get a hug from your gardener. Sending you a virtual one.
Alison xx
@Rome18
Rosemary, I wonder if your dream means that your lovely Richard is now well again and back to how he was before the illness. I do believe in the afterlife, I also believe in God. I sometimes tell myself that God took my Ron because his work on earth was now done. It does bring me a little bit of comfort thinking this way but it doesn’t take away any of the pain of him not being here with me.
I suppose we will never really know until it is our turn to go. I firmly believe we will be reunited with our loved ones and to be honest I look forward to that day, it can’t come soon enough. Until then we will have to walk this path we are on and try and make our lives the best we can.
Alison xx
1 Like
@Alir
It is a coincidence you’ve said all that because, I have read that there are two types of dreams; one that is so vivid, one always remembers it in detail (like mine, I even remember what clothes he was wearing), and the second one, all mixed up and we usually don’t remember them.
My bereavement counsellor believes in the afterlife, and said my dream was Richard letting me know he was fine now.
To be honest, I don’t know what to believe but am beginning to think there is maybe something after we die. I really hope so, I have had a number of signs that are well documented and I take comfort in whatever I can, it helps me to manage this awful life.
Love, Rosemary xx
1 Like
I think your counsellor is right and your Richard is sending you a message to say he is now o.k.
I dreamed of Ron twice and it was just after he passed away. One time he was standing in a queue in a cafe and he was wearing his maroon jacket. I ran up to him in tears, feeling so happy to see him . He said nothing but he was crying, not loudly, it was more from his facial expression that I knew he was upset.
The second time I only remember seeing him in a crowd crying. I have never had any dreams of him since.
He believed in the after life and I thought he would show me he was about but I have never had any signs at all. He always knew if something was wrong with me or if I had been upset , he almost had a sixth sense. We used to laugh about it and joke that he could have a new career as a physic .
I know we all have different opinions and thoughts on this matter but if you get comfort from what you believe then it is a good thing.
Alison xx
1 Like
Hi Alison
You last paragraph says it all
Xx
1 Like