@Pudding
Your sister in law sounds like a remarkable person. As you say, she is incredibly brave, bless her.
It is nice to have someone to eat with, someone to sit with at the dining table and share a meal . I miss that and I now sit on the sofa as find it upsetting looking at the empty chair across the table where my husband used to sit.
It sounds like you had a good time and a nice chat and catch up.
I hope you get a good nights sleep and you enjoy your roast tomorrow.
Alison xx
@Alir a good nights sleep would be incredible. She is incredible. They thought she was dying this time last year when she was very ill. The chemo has allowed her to have this time feeling well. They have been spending their savings doing her bucket list. Zip wires. Speed boats on Thames. Cruise to Norway. Balloon ride Tuesday. Hopefully if she is still well France in a couple of weeks. She has been teaching my brother how to live in his own. How the washing machine works. How to cook. He considers he is lucky as they have had time to prepare. A luxury I wasn’t given. Less than 2 weeks. Apparently they lay in the bed crying yesterday which I can understand. Now they are just being positive. It seems wrong that this dying woman cooked and looked after me. Love and hugs. Sandra
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@Pudding
What an amazing lady, so dignified. I pray to God that she gets to do all of the things on her bucket list plus more.
I would do the same as they are doing and if I had known my husband was so ill I would have spent every penny we had doing all of the things that made him happy.
It must be so hard for your brother, so very hard.
She probably loved looking after you and cooking your meal, she sounds like a very giving loving lady. It is maybe her way of helping you through your grief and it made her feel needed.
I hope they can remain positive and enjoy the time they have.
You sound a loving sister and your brother is lucky to have you.
Sending love. Alison xx
@Ali29 i feel like that too , it’s horrible x
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Yeh being around people doesnt always help does it ? Sometimes its actually easier to be alone … but not too alone as thats not good either ! I think we just have to gently navigate it dont we ? X
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Yesterday was hard but I spend so much time alone they were so welcome. The fact that they are going through so much and still thought of me was so appreciated. My brother and I weren’t that close but feel all of this is bringing us together. If only I could sleep. I am soooooo tired.
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I hope you sleep ! Do you stop drinking caffeine after tea time ? What i do is go onto camomile tea from about 8pm as it is relaxant and caffeine is in tea coffee, pop which keep you awake xxx
I have 1 cup of coffee a day first thing in the morning. At present no alcohol and no pop after early afternoon. I just can’t sleep. Sometimes it is my arthritis keeps me awake but I think I just can’t sleep without him in the bed.
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Another night not sleeping. It was my arthritis last night. Despite pain killers. Surely this can’t go in much longer. Somehow I have managed to use my new air fryer. Sausages. I am getting compensation from a pension company. My financial advisor complained on my behalf when they were screwing up my husband and my pension when he was dying. I was in no fit state to complain so they automatically did it in my behalf. I had a wonderful cooked meal yesterday provided by my friends mother and have another tonight I just have to reheat. In many ways a positive day if only I wasn’t so tired. Xx
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@Pudding
Sorry to hear you are in lots of pain with your arthritis. I was the same in the first few months, I have rheumatoid. I must have taken at least three boxes of paracetamol during that time. I began to despair the pain would never go. I am pleased to say that it has and I am more or less pain free apart from the odd flare up.
Good news about your air fryer and your pension, it makes the day slightly better.
I hope your pain eases and you manage a bit more sleep tonight.
Alison xx
@Alir . It was last night after 2 days of not too much pain. Glad to hear you only get the occasional flare up. It gives me hope. Some of this is that I am having to do so much more now. I try to do some exercises every day but must admit my resolve fails occasionally. Particularly if I have a large wash load of bedding or towels. Maybe I will have a good day tomorrow. Xx.
@Pudding
I hope you do. It seems to be stress related with me and I also suffer from bad stomach acid, which I hate.
Yes, having to suddenly do everything is hard . My husband looked after me so well and did most of the cooking and all of the garden. I can cook so that wasn’t a problem but the gardening was a shock. I have done my best as he loved the garden. I have been outside today and am now aching.
I am hoping to move soon to a much smaller place with a smaller garden so hope to be able to manage a bit better. Now have the stress of buying anselling though, it never ends.
Lets hope tomorrow is a better day for us all xx
Pudding ,look up a woman named Barbara O’Neill she’s really good on natural remedies for arthritis.
@Alir . It is stress related. I have had so many digestive problems since he died. I was already in meds for acid reflux. I pray that everyone on this site has a good day. But that is an unrealistic wish.
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Thanks . I’ll do that as I react to anti inflammatories so am stuck with paracetamol.
Hello Sandra
I haven’t been on here for a few days as I’ve had an attack of bad sinusitis, which affected all of my head and face, lot of giddiness. I’ve had it before and this time obviously due to stress.
I almost feel I’m doing a life sentence with this grief. I am having so many flashbacks of the ‘bad stuff’.
I hope you have a better night. Sending hugs xx
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@Rome18. Sorry about your sinusitis. I’ve had it . It’s horrid. I noticed you haven’t been around for a couple of days. Thanks for the good wishes. Xx
@Rome18
Grief causes so much more than heartache doesn’t it . I am sorry to hear about your sinusitis, it must have been very frightening feeling giddy and having to cope alone.
I hope you feel a bit better today,
Sending hugs xx
@Alir
Thank you, I had it really badly a few years ago and couldn’t drive for a while and Richard had to look after me a lot. I was really worried that it may come on like that again, it hasn’t and fingers crossed I will now feel a lot better.
I honestly think I have September on my mind when Richard went into hospital and the nightmare times began.
As I’ve said before I wish I could turn into a hedgehog.
Sending hugs xx
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@Rome18
Yes, that may be what triggered it off. Thank goodness it wasn’t as bad this time.
I know what you mean when you say you are thinking about last September. This time last year my husband was in hospital and sadly he never came home. He was in there until he passed away at the end of October. I have cried a lot these last few days and haven’t been out of the house, apart from in the garden, since last Wednesday. I am going shopping with my neighbour in the morning, hope I don’t cry in the supermarket.
Take care, Alison xx
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