@Craig2 hello Craig I’m pretty much the same still taking one day at a time I can’t do more than that right now but yeah trying is all we can do on this long lonely journey but I find it helps a little to talk on here and it helps me to feel less alone you take care Craig x
Hi darling, I understand that so much, you did great to stop drinking especially for your daughter, I know that when my step dad died, his son who was rich and barely saw him from one year to the next arranged his funeral, they didn’t let mum have any say although they’d been together for years and he’d brought me up, they didn’t even give me a space in the family hearse, his granddaughter was willing to give me her seat, they were all much older but his son wouldn’t hear of it, funny they weren’t the ones taking care of him right through till the end, I’m not sorry I don’t see them but it is incredibly hurtful how people will treat others, I think this is probably going to be a good place for you to talk, I’m new here. Good luck xx
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Dear Kath23
Me and husband have lived on the same estate - but different streets - for over 40 years. We only live in the next street to the house we lived in for 20 of those years and so many of the current and former neighbours despite initially saying if I needed anything I was just to ask bother to acknowledge me or delivered on their offers. I have stopped looking up if I hear a car or door going because it just makes me feel even more alone and invisible. One neighbour offered to help complete the kitchen work - its not a massive job, but I have been round four times and still nothing so now I am going to have to find a tradesperson but the job is probably too small to make it worth their while.
So no you are not being nasty. My husband was always on call to help out the neighbours and now in my time of need there is nothing, not even an acknowledgement.
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Hi Kath . I can understand how you are feeling emotionally
You are bitter because you have lost both your hubby and dog and your nieghbour hasnt lost anything and by hell that hurts you very much ?
Only you can decide if shouting at the nieghbour and telling them they’re selfish will help you .? . I am sad for you and felt very jealous of married people for a long time Fter my wifes death and even after 27 years I’m still envious of couples
Sending you a virtual hug for you and courage to do what you feel is right
Keith
No Kath your not. I have neighbours that were my husbands neighbours for 36 years and mine for 30, yet never once have they knocked on my door and asked if I was alright. They did come to his funeral and said what good neighbours we were but I could have a fall or worse and they would never know. Their greetings are OK when we meet outside so I suppose I have to be satisfied with that.
When my Gran lived alone her next door neighbours on either side would all call out to each other at a certain time each morning, just to check that all was well. Now no one could give a damn.
xx
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It’s a sad fact that society has become more selfish and more insular with everyone so busy in their own worlds that they don’t see other people and think about their worlds. Mind you, I was always so busy before. I did what I could but I now looking back I’m sure I could have done more. My husband was always very good with the neighbours though.
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Dear Pattidot
I think the same. if I am seriously ill who is going to come and check why the curtains are still shut etc. certainly not the neighbours. I mentioned this to the counsellor but her reply was only that I am still young! My mam’s neighbour’s are very good and check on her daily and bring her a meal at least once a week hence she will not move and probably that is the right decision.
A few years back there was an elderly woman who lives a couple of streets away and she told me she had lost her husband. She cried and said that Monday’s were her worst days. They had no children. It was close to Christmas so for the weeks leading up to Christmas I bought her flowers every Monday. I took her treats round for Christmas and over the years and during the first lockdown I took her various food essentials. After she found out that I had lost my husband she returned the gesture and bought me flowers. I often get upset that I cannot give my mother and this woman the attention they used to receive.
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Dear Kath23
An acknowledgement costs them nothing but would mean so much to us.
I totally agree with you all people just seem to disappear and say things like oh its too painful to visit the house !!!we have to live there it doesn’t make sense to me just an excuse not to bother but as you say they will all have to go through it and sadly then they will know how hard it is . Try not to get bitter it eats you up just take care of yourself 
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Hi All, it is so sad how many of us feel let down. Initially my husbands friends gave me good support but it has eased off now 6 months later. I guess I should have expected it to happen. I have my children but don’t want to be needy so I try to just get on with things. My husband would drop everything to go & help anyone all be it decorating, gardening or whatever else. I am a very Independant type of person so I have had to start doing things that I have never done before but it saddens me immensely when I think of all the help he gave. I suppose it highlights just how much I miss him. Take care everyone. X
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I maybe wrong about why some peopl no longer are as close as they used to be ?
But in my experience it could be that they dont want to upset you, or simply dont know how to react .so for the best they just avoid you, not out of nastiness or other bad reasons but because they’re unable to process your grief and new life
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so true
i know my partner would be upset that me and his daughter are no longer included especially as my family are over 200 miles away 
I my wife would be very upset that 'm no longer included in my daughters life
as I disowned her, because shec thieved off me and called me horrible names and wished me dead
I’ve tried to make peace but to no avail . I accorxing to her am lower than her cats
So now my daughter will continue to be out of my will and loss out .
Hi all
How I agree with all your comments but I sometimes think I am getting what I deserve. As I was so selfish myself.
My daughter who I was close to at one time no longer gets in touch although she has moved to Spain. No argument, she just has her new life and friends. Brian’s family including his daughters and grandchildren won’t make contact although I have sent letters and phone calls. But now I don’t miss any of them as fortunately I do have some loving family nearby.
Today I decided to make contact with a lady who has lost her husband. They was friends and she came to Brian’s funeral but after that I could get no reply from my emails. I decided to not bother with her again but I have recently heard that her husband died after being in a care home. She replied and thanked me for caring and I have now told hear if she ever needs me I am here and see what happens. I will contact her again at a later date if I hear nothing from her as I know what she is now going through and she is alone.
I didn’t give much support to my own mother but I might be able to help someone else.
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Hi there
Its sad when we have to make such decisions but I have also cut Brian’s daughters out of my will and I know this would displease him. But I tried many times. With no response. This decision caused me a lot of soul searching. There was no disagreements. So now my will doesn’t include them.
Kath I cant see that happening. Because if we make things up, she would be after nothing but lots of money, that would very, very quickly
be spent unwisely , or given away to false friends
My will is written and I won’t change it.
Take care Kath
oh dear so sorry that things have gone that way
It’s very sad that you like me have had to make your decision
My daughter and I hadnt got on from when she was 16 and had to have an ovary taken away
She only spoke to me when it benefitted her.
When my wife died she even acted badly to her when she was still on her hospital death bed .
This gutted me as did some of her selfish actions before and during my wife’s funeral
For me my life goes on as it has for over 27 years . I carry on with my voluntary work and and supporting others in need while she Carries on ignoring me and treating me beneath her animal rights etc .
Thank you please dont be sorry for me?
I’m a tough old guy . And I hope that she comes to me , but not just on the beg?
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Its hard to understand how family members can act at times and its sad that there has to be a rift but our lives have to go on regardless. I was so hurt by the actions of my husbands daughters and wondered what I had done so wrong but now I know I don’t need them as I am coping just fine without them.
My own daughter has now shown a greedy side to her which shocks me. Does this mean yet another change to my will???