WHY US ???

Bad morning why are we being punished like this WHY TAKE MY DARRELL AWAY FROM US WHY ? he didn nothing to deserve this should of been ME instead .

Hi jo I feel the same sometimes which it had been me he was only 48 taken too soon.

hi Aries im sorry to hear that x i just cant see the point anymore x

It is so hard I wish I could be more positive x

I’ve asked the same question over an over. Denise was the better half of us. Why her and not me, I don’t know the answer. One thing I have thought though, it’s much much harder to be left behind. I’ve never thought about dying really but I know now it doesn’t scare me. I just want to join her again. Hopefully soon. Xxx

hi stevie im sorry to hear about your Denise you are right it is harder to be left behind and im also not frightened of dying every night i ask my Darrell to come and fetch me so i can be wirh him i dont want to be here without him and every morning i wake feeling so let down and depressed because ive got to face another day without him by my side x jo xx

Aries it helps to get a message on here xx thank you x jo xx

Oh Jo, how my heart goes out to you, you are in such pain and I would love to be able to give you a hug (and I’m not a huggy person). You know before my husband died he said to me, “Why me, I’ve never hurt anyone in my life” He was in such pain, slowly dying and I asked God for mercy. My Brian was a lovely person, kind, considerate, so many tributes to him. One person wrote “I have met many people in my life but non like your husband and I will never forget him”. So I keep asking, like you, WHY. I can only think that God wants the good ones, cause there’s some horrible people about and I ask why are they still standing. Horrible to say it but that’s how I feel. Your Darrell did nothing to deserve this, neither have you.
A spiritualist friend told me not to grieve so much, and that Brian had gone to a better place where he would be cared for and be happy and loved and these words did give me comfort. I imagine him happy and well, singing, painting, walking and I’m almost jealous that he’s left me here to suffer and sometimes wonder what I’ve done to deserve this life I’ve been left with. Having a rotten day today, can’t you tell!!! Went to the allotment, getting on with the work, then I stopped for my lunch break and remembered how Brian and I did this and there I was sat under the tree on my own. Then a member started moaning about it being chilly and I felt like landing her one. My Brian wouldn’t have cared if he could be there. Set me off and I came home in the rain crying. Jo I’m thinking of you, feel your pain xxx

hi Pattidot im sorry you are having such a rough day your Brian sounds so mich like my Darrell eould do anything for anyone but family always came first. im sorry Brian was in such much pain but im sure he felt comfort being around you x Arent some people pathetic moaning about abit of a chill they have no idea have they … i feel like you do about them being in a better place i keep thinking what else has Darrell got to do he promised he would never leave me so where is he why isnt he just sittin around the house with us. he would know how we would be in so much pain so why isnt he comforting us like he used to do the only time i have ever felt safe in the whole of my life is when Darrell put his arms around me when he did that nothing could hurt me he knew that. i had to go to the job centre today for a universal credt meeting it took me all my time to go a friend had to go with me couldnt go on my own they were running late and it was just getting to busy and it was really stressing me out one of the women came over to me had a quick chat and took me out of a side entrance i just couldnt cope with so many people being around x came home went to pick jacob up from college i had to pull over before i picked him up i juat went to pieces x thinking of you and sending my love xx jo xx

My wife died from a glioblastoma last year. Approximately 100 thousand people are diagnosed with that type of brain tumour each. Statistically that’s a very low chance of developing one.
I used to say to her Why You and she would just say Why Anybody.
My wife and her femail cousin were very close and were brought up almost as sisters. When her cousin was 40 her husband was diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumour and died two years later, leaving her with 3 children under ten.
How unlucky can a person get… to lose her husband and then her cousin 30 years later to something so rare.
I never asked her if she thought she was being punished but it’s a lot for one person to bear.

My spelling getting worse.
Should say every year.

hi yorkshirelad im so sorry for your loss such a sad story x jo xx

haha dont worry about the spelling ive looked back at some of my messages and realises i should of put my glasses on when typing xx jo xx

I have asked the same questions a million times since my George died and I know I will never get any answers that can possibly justify the pain I feel and the life my husband has lost. George loved life and his family and it just seems so unfair it has all be taken from him. As for me I just want to be with him. I get so frustrated that there are people who have done wicked things in their lives and are still here, whilst our lovely partners who were such kind and generous souls are no longer with us. Whilst I regularly went to church as a child, I stopped going in my teenage years and did not pray for years. However I pray every night now and rant at God for taking away my beautiful husband who is the love of my life and the best thing that happened to me. I tell him that I know he cannot bring George back so he must do the next best thing instead and take me to be with him. As much as I think about it, suicide is not an option because I could not put that added pain on my children, but if I died of natural causes whilst painful for them, they would be able to accept that more. Why do these things happen? Mind you no matter how painful all this is, I would do it all again to have George in my life xx

Debra your words resonate with me my thoughts are the same. Its hard to pray and thank God for the life we have when he has taken the most precious gift in our world xx

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have screamed at God…starting over fifty years ago when I was seventeen and my mum died of cancer, when our daughter died in her cot, when I lost my dad…most awfully when Barry died in 2016. To my shame I have tried to lay other
disappointments at His door too. There are no answers and I am still trying to find my way but I have travelled a little longer on this path than some of you and so I can tell you that with time the anger passes and is replaced by gratitude for the gifts we had…the hurt never goes away but it becomes softer and the love we knew continues to grow and support us. I do not wish to cause offence to anyone but I am quite sure that God cares very much for every human being, that He never leaves any of us truly alone and that out of everything we see as tragedy some good will come…this site is living proof of that. Please do not give up…we may never understand “Why?” and there are many days when it all seems pointless and we have to grit our teeth hard…but I leave you with a verse from Psalm 34 : “The Lord is close to the broken hearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed”. It has helped me and I hope it may help you too.
Take care x


Dear Debra
I could cut an paste most of your feelings. very much like mine. .Every single day since November when my darling was diagnosed and two weeks after he was gone, I ask the question; why, why why him and indeed why anyone. Why do we have nasty illnesses and we are totally out of control. My darling was was kind, humble, a loving husband, son, brother, uncle, and a true friend. A real gentle-man, lived healthy, loved the outdoor life and beautiful human being all round. Yet, he was given time to work almost 40 years non-stop and when he is about to retire, his time was up!. All this seems to be so unfair. I feel that I am being punished But, the deep pain must be the result from the deep love we had for each-other.
We were not blessed with children but without our two families support I would have not been able to cope at all. I was never orthodox but I pray now every day that my darling is ok and hope he is with his dad and my dear parents and brother. How much I would like to know that!!! I wish I have the courage to have one of those reading mentioned earlier. not sure I could. strangely enough I asked my husband to let me know if he is ok. and you know what? last night when I was going to google something there was a link with John Edward… not sure anyone knows about him but my husband and I saw some of his programs in the early 2000 called Passing Over… was that a sign or a coincidence…

Sorry that we needed to join this forum and not the one titled “I am happily with the love of my life”.

hi de
i would say it was definitely a sign . last night i lay in bed and got so upset because i was struggling to remember what my Darrells voice sounded like this morning i was just lying there and all of a sudden i heard Darrell shout JO and i sat up so quick and shouted YEH and then reality hit … it was definate definitely Darrell ahouting me no mistake . sending love jo xx

Oh I hope so!.
I have a few seconds video recording on my phone and go over it sometimes to listen to his voice, it gives me some comfort but soon I come down to reality. I just want to know he is ok and that he is with me. May be too soon for this.
I cant stop crying wanting to see him again. I have this scaring feeling like he is late coming home and I am worry that there was an accident or something like that?. I look at his photos and it all seem a dream… did our 30 years really happened? if so why did they stop and why I only remember the past sad and lonely 3 months? I ask.

I am so happy for your that your Darrell made contact must be some consolation and wont stop there.

take care and keep strong. ( still early for some of us I think). De xxxx

yes De it is early for some of us but im here if ever you want to talk my Darrell passed away on 20 th january 2019 i fought to keep him alive but he had had enough . Your husband will definitely be around you… do you think after all those years hes just going to leave you on your own i truly believe he will guide you through every thing in his own way a little thing every now again will let you know hes there. a song a creak of a door anything when it happens and you think straight away of your husband it means its him x ive got an old writing bureau that Darrell got me to renovate and ive not long finished it and when i go and sit in the room where it is (the front room where Darrell spent all of the last few months in his bed ) it will creak so i know he is talking back to me xxx take care and here if you need me xx love jo xx