I know what you mean about mornings and weekends the worst. In the morning the only reason i get up is for my dog. He’s nearly 18 (amazing). Unfortunately he’s just been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis in his lungs. There is no cure but he’s doing well at the moment. If my husband was here i could talk about it with him but if i lose the dog which i will do one day i just don’t know what lies ahead. This has been the worst year ever. I expect the same for all of you. .I’ve been on my own for 7 months now and it isn’t getting that much easier. Maybe one day it will. Take care.
4 Likes
So sorry to hear about your dog. I understand not having your husband to talk things out. After 40 years of making decisions together and talking things through, I find that it’s lonely not having those conversations anymore. Losing your husband is bad enough but losing your pet as well must be incredibly hard. My heart goes out to you. Take care. xx
Thanks for that. Yes we were married for 54 years and he was the sensible one. I’m just muddling through at the moment. My dog’s not really suffering at the moment. Still enjoys a little walk. He eats well and drinks. But at the moment not that bad. Hope you’re coping ok. I think these dark nights don’t help but hopefully next year will be a better one. Take care
1 Like
@Jay15 good to hear that your dog is doing well at the moment. I am not coping so well - just existing and going through the motions. I agree that the dark nights don’t help. Like you say maybe next year will be better but I can’t see it at the moment. Take care xx
Sorry to hear you’re not coping so well. I’m not either. Some days I’ve just got.no confidence at all other times i get angry. It’s such a massive change in our lives and hard to adjust. It’s been 7 months now and I’m still sorting things out. The weekend again and what to i do today. I don’t know. I’m not bothering about Christmas and it would be my husband’s birthday January also our anniversary. I’m dreading those days. Thanks again asking about Max (dog) people round here aren’t really doggy people. All they say is oh well he’s old . To be honest I’d rather have a dog than people at times. Oh i do hope you feel better one day. Just take one day at a time. Keep in touch. Jill x
@Jay15 Hi Jill, it’s 45days since I lost my Tony and every morning i wake up to the reality that he is not here anyomore and the tears flow uncontrollably. I know that eventually I may feel betterand to take one day at a time. I miss beign able to talk to him which make the loneliness surface. He was my whole life, my soulmate and we were happy with just the two of us facing the world. I look after my mum who lives with me but after 2 strokes her speech is affected and her memory is not good. Every day she asks me where my Tony is and it brings back the unbearable pain. I haven’t cooked for the last 45 days. Tony did all the cooking so I’ve bee doing ready meals for my mum. I know that everyone in this forum is going through the same experience and it gives me some hope for the future. I agree that sometimes a dog is better than people. They give you unconditinal love. I hope that we all feel ‘better’ some day. Today is Sunday and it’s awful. I am not celebrating Christmas this year. Big hugs and take care. Yes, keep in touch. Joyce xx
1 Like
Hi Joyce all i can say 6 weeks is no time at all. It’s such early days for you. So sorry about your mom. You’ve got your hands full at the moment. You sound a really strong person to cope with all that’s going on in your life. I too don’t cook anymore. I’ve lost quite a lot of weight but i was overweight so who cares. Try not to worry (easier said than done) we’ll all get there. I think it will take time but we’ll get there. Take care jill x
Star gate, I’m 5 days behind you. The pain is overwhelming at times. I find evenings really hard. I went out with some friends last night and just managed to hold it together until I got my key out. Then the floodgates opened. I just look at happy couples longingly and say to myself , make the most of your time together.
2 Likes
@Jay15 Hi Jill, I know 6 weeks is not long. As for being strong i don’t feel it at the moment but I will take one day at a time and hope for the best in time. Take care joyce xx
1 Like
@Paddy53 I am sorry for your loss and can understand your pain. Yes, I am happy with the time I had with my husband but would give up everything to have him back (not going to happen I know). I don’t think anyone understands the pain and loneliness of losing your partner except for the people in this forum and I am greatful to have found this forum. I hope all of us will eventually feel ‘better’ whatever that is. Take care and big hugs xx
4 Likes
It’s day 47 since I lost my Tony and in floods of tears again, experiencing intense pain, loneliness and yearning to be able to see my husband again (not possible I know), to get a big hug from him to male everything ok. I wouldn’t wish these emotions/feelings for anyone. I have to work today but my heart is not in it. My heart is breaking. I know that these tears are for myself because of my loss. I believe that my Tony is in a better place and no longer suffering. One day I will be reunited with him again.
Take care everybody. Hope today is a better day for all of you. xx
2 Likes
My heart breaks for you too, everyone on this site understands, it’s such an immense emotion and I have no idea how to cope, but we have to cope. Take it easy on yourself and you will get through the day, hour by hour, lots of love x
1 Like
@Kathy6 Thank you for your support. There is no blueprint for coping with our grief so I agree we have to do the best we can. Hope that the rest of today becomes bearable. Take care of yourself too. Big hugs and sending love to you. xx
1 Like
Oh stargate I feel your pain. I felt exactly the same today. I’m a few days “behind you”. I got home and the bill from the funeral directors was there. I completely broke down. As I’d read earlier the person you want to be there to help you is the one person who can’t be. I must have cried for an hour and I can feel myself going again. It’s so not fair
1 Like
So true, the only person who can help and support you isn’t there, oh how I miss my husband, how long does this go on…… forever I think x
@Paddy53 I feel your pain too. I have to pay the funeral directors tomorrow which brings back everything about the loss we all feel so deeply. As you said the person you want to be there to help you is the one person who can’t be. I am sure we will shed many more tears. And you are right it’s not fair. Take care and I am sending you a big hug. xx
1 Like
6 weeks since lost my lovely Steve after only 10 days of illness. I miss him so much. The one person I want to ask advice from is no longer here. We were everything to each other. No children and very little support. Not sure how any of us gets over this. For me mornings are the worst. Feel like I am losing him again every day. We have to be so strong but not sure I have got it in me.
1 Like
I used to love waking up to my morning cup of tea with my husband, but now I dread mornings as every morning is a new reminder that he’s gone 
3 Likes
Hi @Juliebobs, I lost my husband 6 weeks ago as well. He was only in hospital for 4 days so it was a shock. I did not expect him not to come home. Every morning since I lost Tony are filled with tears because it’s a reminder that I will never see him again. Like you we have no children and he was my world and I his. I have little support as well but I found it in this forum as everyone understands what we are going through as we are all in this awful boat. As I have been told we need to take one day at a time and walk it. Try to stay strong and keep posting here. Everyone will support you. Take care of yourself. Big hugs xx
2 Likes
Thankyou. Xx