Scarl, keep strong, I don’t know if there is light at the end of the tunnel either but there has to a bit of let up from such deep grief, sending lots of love x
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@StarGate I am a week behind you at 7 weeks since my wife Jaq peacefully passed away , having dealt with cancer for almost 3 years.
Today has been the worst day yet for me personally, I don’t know if it is because another whole week has gone by?
I have been working from home today and for the first time I went back to bed for a full blown cry, no reason , maybe just the finality of it all. I miss the us, being part of a couple, sharing the little happenings of the day/work/ etc.
I really do want to be positive and hope that things will get better and the pain might ease, it’s just that today is not that day.
All I really want is an actual physical hug from the one person who can’t be here.
Take care everyone…Pete
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Dear @Kathy6 So sorry you are having a bad day as well. I understand missing your mam. I do too - miss his smile, his hugs, his kisses, chats, sitting on the sofa next to me. It’s unbearable. Thank you for the support. Lots of love and hugs. x
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@Kathy6 @Scarl34 I really hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel to ease our pain. Take care. Love and hugs. x
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What wouldn’t we give for one lovely hug from our loved one, just one, is that too much to ask? Xx
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@PJ64 Hi Pete, So sorry you are having a bad day as well.
I have had days where i have cried for no reason as well. I fully understand the missing part of a couple and sharing day/work, etc. My Tony and I shared everything and did everything together. We were complete. Now I feel that half of me is missing all the time and it is so painful.
Like you I hope that everyday will be more tolerable than the last - I think that is all we can do - hope and live/exist one hour, one day at a time. We never know when this wave of sadness, longing hits us and when it does it hits us hard.
I also feel your pain about wanting a physical hug from the one person who can’t be there. I would give anything to have a hug from my Tony to make everyting better but he is not here.
Take good care of yourself. We are all here to support each other.
Sending you love and hugs. Joyce x
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I know your pain. Its not getting easier. The only person who can make it right is not here. I am beside myself with tears at times and just want him back. The empty house is unbearable at times and need a hug too. Take care on this painful journey.
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Hi Joyce i don’t think you have depressed anyone. We’re all depressed. Ive also had a bad day today. Still trying to sort bank out. I actually yelled at man on phone saying im just sick of it. Can do without all the hassle. I thought i was feeling a bit better but today it’s all come back. Hollow feeling foggy brain and no appetite at all. It’s been 7 months and not much better. So quiet round here. The only people i see are dog walkers and too cold to stop and chat. Hopefully one day we may all feel normal again…i hope so. Take care jill x
@Kathy6 i really don’t think there is, but I have no choice but to try keep going for the kids!? It’s just so painful, I’m so so scared of what our future holds, so many worries about what we will do in terms of the house etc… and now everything is on me so I just panic every single day… it’s so cruel…
Sending you all my love xx
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@Jay15 Hi Jill, I am sorry you had a bad day as well. What is it about today that’s making us feel bad? Apart from the loss, loneliness and quiet homes . Maybe this it - reminding us of what we have lost. Hope all of us have a more tolerable day tomorrow. Hope you get your banking sorted out soon. Take care
Love and hugs. Joyce xx
hi i lost my wife of 46 years in about the same way, she went into hospital with a breathing problem, they gave me no idea that i would lose her and like you i just dont know what to do. i have great friends that are trying to support me, but they just dont understand i have no children. if you learn how to cope please tell me. the only thing i know is that we are not alone there are litarally millions suffering like we are.
thinking of you best wishes phil
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Hi @StarGate,
I’m really sorry you are finding today particularly challenging. I hope that by the time you read this you are feeling perhaps a little calmer. Or maybe numbness has returned?
As others have said, the longing is so intense at times. I just want to tell Christine how much I love her … it is just absolutely ghastly.
While there are certainly circumstances where apologies are in order, this is most definitely not one of them. I think it can actually be a subtle way of undermining yourself (and at times like these that is something you can definitely do without!) because it sort of hints that you have somehow done something wrong, made a mistake or are somehow inadequate. In other words that there is some fault that rests with you.
There is nothing wrong with you. In no way are you “at fault”. You are having a ghastly day and have been brave to share this in the most appropriate way.
Best wishes to you.
I am so sorry for your loss,i think this forum might help you as the people on here understand what we are all feeling
Take care
hi i am not sure moving solves anything remember your home holds all your good memorys as well as the bad. dont act hastily. my late wife and i often talked about winning the lottery and what we would do. the result is we both loved our home so i would feel as if i had betrayed her if i was to move. i was going to put her ashes in the garden but when i tried i realised that i could not leave her out in the cold so i brought a oak box and shes right next to me now. somehow i feel close to her, i cant let her go. a bit weird i know. so give yourself time. thats good coming from me as i dont know what the hell to do best wishes phil
thank you my worst time is coming home after i have been out the house is dark and cold, my friends are trying to keep me busy, i am a busy sort of man anyway. i have classic cars and they keep me busy now.
just after she died i could not even look at them, they were so much a part of our lives. i dont know what i will do next year when the shows start up again, sorry i am talking gibberish. thank you for taking the time to contact me best wishes phil
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@pippyb Hi Phil, So sorry for your loss. I feel for your pain. You are right friends do not understand unless they have experienced a similar loss. I stuggle every day trying to navigate the loss of my husband, the sadness, the loneliness, knowing that I will never feelhis arms aronund me giving me hugs, do all the things we used to do together…I live/exist one day at a time. Some days are more tolerable than others. The pain is always there. I have cried every day since I lost him (sometimes for no reason) and find mornings, evenings and weekends the worst due to the loneliness and not being to do things together. Weekends were the days that were precious to us as we were not working and had the whole day to do what we wanted. I wish I had a magic wand to ease the pain of all of us. I don’t so I put one foot in front of the other every day.
This forum is a good start as everyone here is in on the same journey and understand what you are going through. You are cetainly not alone. Post here as often as you need to adn you will be supported.
Take care of yourself. Sending you love and a big hug. Joyce x
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Hi Phil i don’t think anyone on here knows how to cope or where to go next. I certainly don’t. I think about moving sometimes but is that the answer. You’re lucky you have friends to support you at this dreadful time. I just want this emptiness to disappear but maybe one day we all be able to cope with this thing called grief. My husband has been gone7 months now and it only feels like yesterday. Take care of yourself. Jill
Hi @JerryH The numbness has returned. I Totally agree that the longing is so intense and the pain unbearable which I have not experienced before. I wish that I could give my Yony a hug and tell him that I love him and how much I miss him but know this will not happen which adds to the anguish.
Thank you for reminding me that everyone here understands what I am going through and will support me wihout judgement.and that I am not at ‘fault’.
Take care and hoping for a more tolerable day tomorrow for all of us. Love and hugs x
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hi love i have read lots of your posts, in someways i am lucky i have always done my bit around the house, we had our own shop for twenty years and i believed that if we both worked then we split the jobs at home. so i can cook clean and wash and that keeps me going mags was proud of our home so i feel duty bound to keep it up. i am sure i will come to terms with it all eventually, i am finding it hard to talk but i think its helping. i send you hugs even though it wont help, keep your chin up phil
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