I can relate to all of that , I’m on anti depressants, I have high cholesterol and I am not eating properly also have high blood pressure. Not sleeping well, night is definitely the worst time for me. With the clocks going back in a few weeks I can’t see it getting any better!
I’m surrounded by friends with family close to me but I feel so alone. The one person that I want and need the most is no longer here!
I have some good days but they are few and far between. It will be my wedding anniversary next week, that is going to be a difficult time. I’m dreading Xmas.
I don’t sleep much now, I didn’t when Norma was alive, I was her full time carer and most nights I sat up with her, if I make a meal I just pick at it, nothing is the same anymore, I feel so alone and lost without her
I feel the same nights and weekends are the worst and as you say Christmas will be here soon we were married Christmas Eve, 37 years to the love of my life first year being apart I really don’t know how I am going to get through this Christmas
Aw . …thats so sweet getting married xmas eve… and im same as you length wise, married 35 years to love of my life together for 37 … so tough isnt it !! Dont think about xmas in advance … just let it happen when it happens xx
Yes i think we are all dreading the long dark nights and Christmas.
For myself we always spent christmas just the two of us this year just me but then every other day now is just me.
Strange how last year we spent in Australia with family 1st time in 3 years ar least i have that to remember on Christmas Day.
Take care x
Aw … yeh australia ! Where abouts ? I have some family in Perth, western Australia. My grandad was one of the £10 pommes in the 60’s. Lovely memory for you xx
Hi @Deb5
We were in Sydney for Christmas and New Year 2022 and Fiji in Feb 2023 as that was where my husband was born in 1960 but came back to Scotland in 1962 with his mum and older brother. One blessing we had family christmas and new year and he got back to visit his place of birth. Who would have thought 4 months later he woud have passed away suddenly no symptoms. Life is so unfair we still had plans now i have to think how to do things on my own like most here on this website we all know how hard that is.
I know it all happened so quick eoth me too … one minite were on holiday in Wales … the next hes in hospital … and it all went downhill afyer that ! For many months i felt i was stuck in some nightmare and i would wake up and it was a dream … but as reality hits in a way thats harder isnt it … facing the new reality and its the doing stuff alone i hate the most now … x
@Deb5 Except for the holiday in Wales I feel like I could have written your post myself! Leading a perfectly normal life and then wham!! We had so many plans! I even got upset in Asda the other day seeing other couples shopping! I have kept myself busy all day with walking the dog and then my volunteering but the nights are really difficult! I feel like I maybe awake for sometime yet! J x
Yeh i feel do restless today … been like this all day !! not seen anyone apart from my puppy! Im so sick of people and life in general … horrible world it is without my man xx
I’m not sick of people! I’ve spoken to some lovely people today whilst volunteering but yes the world does feel awful without my husband! Relaxing is just not happening. Never thought loosing him could be this bad. I used to like it if he went away for a couple of days but now I feel guilty that I felt like that as I’d give anything to have him back! J x
Yeh same … i miss him sooo much ! Its a bit too quiet around here where i live - think im gonna move next year to somewhere more lively ! It was ok when i had my husband here but now i feel very isolated ! Its a bit or rather a lot of a cliquey village mentality ! Im so sick of it !! X
I also live in a village but a biggish village. I’ve been here 40 years and wouldn’t live anywhere else! My neighbours are lovely, my kids are near so why would I! There’s quite a good village feel with things going on if you want to get involved! You get good and bad everywhere and I think you notice it even more when you are going through something as devastating as we are. J x
I do t think i will ever experience happiness again. I lost my husband suddenly 6 months ago and the pain is just as strong now if not stronger as it was back then. I am sitting in my back garden looking at the stars and the moon thinking what the hell am I doing here. There is just no point!!!
Aw … i know … does make you wonder what your place in the world us ? Hang on in there im sure it will get better for you but its a tough road i know. I dont think i ever felt so many emotions in all my life … i guess its cos you have spent so many years focused on that one person which makes it so hard mind u i wouldnt have had it any other way as im sure you wouldnt xx
and its the doing stuff alone i hate the most now … x