Thank you for this. I lost my husband, Howard in February. Every day is a struggle but I try to get out and do things. I know that he would want me to.
He told me before he died that I was stronger than I think I am and that he knew that I would cope better than he would if things had been the other way around. I don’t always feel that strength but I keep those words close to me. He also said that he wanted me to do things that we wouldn’t have enjoyed together, it’s not easy.
Your husband was very wise.
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Helena 1
I lost my partner last year and I totally agree with you. I think he would not have coped as well as I have with loss. He would not have looked for support or asked for help from family and friends. I don’t think he would have found it easy to talk about his feelings. It has been so hard, so painful and I feel so sad for much of the time. I would have hated for him to feel like this.
Val
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Hi Val
Gosh yes I agree with you. I too feel sad a lot of the time but am trying to find little pockets of positivity to enable me to keep going.
There’s nothing that can prepare us is there.
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Helena 1
Nothing prepares you for the turmoil and sadness, but it is good to hear your positivity. I am sure we will all get through this sadness in our own ways. I am trying to accept that my life is going to be different, not what I expected or planned for with Simon. Try to look forward as much as possible; you will have many sad days but hopefully, there will also be “brighter” days. A big hug from me. X
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I agree nothing prepares you, I was told in May last year that my wife had a few months left, she died two months later in July, and four days after my wife died her brother died suddenly, it changed my life and our daughters
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@Helena1 such beautiful words and so very true. I am just over 9 months down this very bumpy road. I lost my partner to a very short battle with leukaemia on Jan 6th. Such an emotional rollercoaster but I know he would want me to move forward and I’m trying so hard to do that every day. 
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Oh, I’m totally with you. I feel that every knock, struggle etc offers me the chance to become wiser and observe more of what’s happening. Consider this an opportunity to embrace change.
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Yes our parrners would not want us to be sad to live on in their memory. Life is precious and although we are now on rhis part of the journey on our own we must try to live the life we would have both wanted together and enjoy what time we have left to do this.
Remember we are never really on our own as they are wirh us somewhere in spirit and presence. Lynne x
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Yes, we have our beautiful memories
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That’s such an inspiring message to leave. I hope you do and I do too, and we all do. To hurt this much is to have loved so very deeply, and feel grateful that you have. A heart that can feel that much for someone. Wow, I have had a great chapter, I miss my husband so much, I wish I could just hold his hand and touch his face one more time. He would have struggled if it were me. Now I need to live for him too. That’s what we all need to do. Hugs and love xx
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So true. I know my husband would want me to do that.
He wouldn’t have coped at all. I try to think positive and do that, sometimes it’s just hard.
It will be our Wedding anniversary end of next week, know it will be difficult but I have book myself into a hotel for a couple of nights. I know that he would want me to live for both of us.
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I am so glad to here that people are able to beg on with life. I managed to get through our wedding anniversary on 28th August which would have been 36 years. It was not easy and we would have been abroad and had a nice meal out. I went out with a friend to lunch not the same but thought of him on the day and always will but i got through the day. There are always extra special days we will not forget but everyday we had with them was special and although they are gone never forgotten
Take care and look after yourselves live for today one thing i have learned we do not know what tomorrow will bring x
Lynne
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@Helpme1 I was so pleased to read your message about booking yourself into a hotel for your anniversary. Although it will be a sad time I do hope you will enjoy it. I am going to do the same thing next year as it would have been our golden wedding anniversary. I am going to try and book into a sort of retreat hotel and get pampered as I know my husband would have liked me to do that. He was always treating me to pampering days for our anniversaries. Sending hugs. Ann
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Such beautiful words. I’m sure you will find love again. 
It’s will be the second time that I have done it since I lost Howard in February this year. He was only 64 and we had only been married for 3 and a half years.
I’m fortunate enough to live in Cornwall. The first weekend was for 3 nights staying in St Mawes, I did struggle emotionally but I got through it. The last time I was there he was with me. I know that he would have enjoyed the things that I did, especially the river cruise up the Fal to Trellissick Garden. He loved being on the water and I felt like he was sitting beside me on the boat.
Next week I am going to Newquay for our anniversary, another place that he liked.
I have to try and have things to look forward to, it would be extremely easy just to sit at home feeling lost and tearful. He made it quite clear to me the day before I lost him that he wanted me to live and get on with my life.
Sometimes I have to force myself to do things but sometimes of course I can’t and I stay home with my cat and memories and cry.
My thoughts are with you. X
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Good to see that you have made move to go on holiday.
I am hoping next year to be able to travel myself to Fiji to scatter his ashes where he was born in 1960. Then spend some yime there remembering good holidays spent there and future ones for me to make in his memory.
Take care x
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My darling man , passed with a sudden massive heart attack.
I think not being able to say good bye is the hardest. Then the sudden change in your whole life , seems to be unbearable .
But 8 months down the line , I still miss him and want my old life back , I do feel his love and support surrounding me . This gives me comfort .
I talk to him all the time and I know what he would say as we had been together for so long .
I’m determined to live my live for the both of us until we meet again .
Stay strong and live to love
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Amazing Elowen. Bless you and you will be reunited I am sure 
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I am 4 months into this journey too.
Reassuring words of comfort from you.
Take care x
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Lovely words … xx
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