Thanks for your post. What you say has kind of been rolling around my mind as well.
Come January it will be two years since my gorgeous wife Christine died. This second year has been absolutely awful, horrendous. A living nightmare. But somehow, here I am. I know I cannot sustain this level of awfulness. I know that only I can grope towards a tolerable and hopefully happier future. Some support, encouragement and frankly some luck would be great. But the buck does stop with me. In a sense, you kind of have to want to effect some change.
But how to start is what I am wrestling with, in addition to my grief.
My best wishes to you, and encouragement towards new beginnings and of course to everyone else in this most excellent community. I hope you all can find some peace and comfort at this extra challenging time.
Sending hugs to you too @SP60. Like you, I knew today would be difficult but never expected it to be so unbelievably heart wrenching, As the day wears on, I feel I am existing on another planet.
I have also promised myself that I am not going to endure another Christmas like this one. I know my dear husband would not wish it for me.
You have a very thoughtful friend.
I hope we can eventually find some peace.
Hi Sarlyn
I think a good idea to think of things we want to do with the time we have left as we dont know how long we have left.
We are used to being a couple and now as one we need to find out what things we want to do in life.
I think a weekend trip would be good an adventure and people who want to meet up from all areas sounds good.
Sending hugs
Lynne Xx
Hi @SP60
Thanks let me know sometime next year.
I am in Scotland but there are people all over the UK Ireland and further afield
Enjoy whats left of Christmas Day and it will be over soon Xx
My husband passed away in March - we have no kids - thought I was doing ok until December - I never liked Christmas but he always made it fun. Can’t wait to see the back of this year. I chose to spend it alone as I was afraid of spoiling it for everyone else, No family close by. Normally a very positive person but this has knocked me for six and trying very hard to find a new normal and future for myself - so, so difficult.
I also chose to spend the day alone but omg it’s been the longest day ever. I’ve cried all morning bought some lovely food but couldn’t be bothered to cook it. Definitely need to do something different next year. The best thing to come out of today was 3 separate visits from a robin. Not long until this day is over thank god.
Hi @mcgamhan@Helen24
Like both of you my husband passed away 7 months ago and i decided to spend Christmas alone. Last year we both spent it with our family in Australia. This year so different spent it alone no family here.
Thought it would be easy just another day like all others i have done in 7 months but i was so wrong it hurt i cryed most of the day. I will be glad when the day is over and dont have to face again till next year.
Just hogmanay and New Year which again is just another 2 day’s on the calendar.
Hope 2024 is better
Lynne Xx
Lynne.
Like you I have had a good cry but our husbands died so close to each other.
Tomorrow is another day and at least Christmas will be coming to an end
Xx
Sandra
Hi Guys
we were planning our retirement but no point now I will just carry on working. I try and keep myself busy, joined a choir, go running, it deflects the pain for a while. I now drink far too much when I go out, that helps for an evening.
Love and hugs to us all
The same for me @Galaxy75, I thought it better to be alone today and treat it like another day. How wrong, I was, it’s been awful and I have been like Alice in Wonderland and nearly drowned in my tears.
Thank goodness I am out tomorrow.
Best wishes to you xx
Oh Rosemary. It has been a long hard day. Full of tears. At least my dinner from my neighbour was delicious or I suspect I wouldn’t have eaten.
Glad you will be with your brother tomorrow.
Xx
Sandra
So pleased, Sandra, you had a delicious dinner, I have hardly eaten. It really has been awful and I am sure many of us cannot wait for the day to be over.
I hope you have a good night’s sleep.
Sending hugs xx
Hi Sandra
I ended up with 3 Christmas dinners from very kind neighbours. It’s a pity I don’t have much of an appetite. Today has been a terrible trial for us, roll on the end of the festive period. Xx
@ Sarlyn It is very hard to be on your own alone during this holiday time. I remember the first Christmas, I was like a zombie walking home with some supermarket food, and feeling there was absolutely no one to call or talk to. And yet, there was a friend living close by, who did not invite me to her Christmas dinner. I just went by her place and dropped off her gift in front of her door and left, without knocking on the door.
So basically, I had three weeks of not talking to anyone (was also during pandemic) until one day I had to call the crisis line to chat about nothing… small talks that I normally hated… so I decided to talk about politics and societal issues.
By God’s grace, on that first New Year’s Eve, I was able to talk with a newly acquainted friend for hours, trying hard to laugh at some jokes, to ease the deep pain somewhat.
Being widowed now, means we are afterthoughts, if they even remember us… especially for those who have no children.
I understand your pain and disappointment with people … It could make it very hard for us to reconnect with others, for we know what can be the ugly side. … sad.
During the worst moments. I pray and ask for help… to live for another hour, another day…
I am spending the whole holiday time alone with my cat … and not even bother to call some of my disengaged old friends. Life has changed completely, and as if they are over there, and I am here… closer to my beloved physically departed best friend husband,
I am sleeping a lot…and watch many NDE videos… to tune in with the Heavenlly realm…sharing my roasted chicken with the cat.
A big hug to everyone here… May God gives us serenity and love…
i cryed most of the day. I will be glad when the day is over and dont have to face again till next year.