Most people have heard the term you don’t know what you had got till it’s gone . But I new what I had in the most amazing human being I have ever know before or since . You just don’t realise the impact another person can have on your life . 2 years now . And inside I still feel just as devastated as if it was yesterday . I truly feel for you all . And wish you well for 24 x
3 Likes
That’s a shame so sorry to hear . As a coach builder I always planned to convert a van into a camper but never got round to it . But then I lost my darling girl so I bought one and joined a camping club called (new companions ) with contacts and meets all over the UK . For people that prefer to camp on there own . Here’s the friends bit . I have made new friends in the club with like minded people in the same boat . And said goodby to people I used to call friends . Bless you all in 24
2 Likes
Hi @ Jeff007
My husband always wanted a campervan.
We planned to get one when he retired but he passed away before that happened.
I dont drive so not much good for me now.
When i was at a christmas blues and jazz show in November i met a lady who said she had a campervan and had joined a group that met up in the UK.
Lynne
1 Like
Today my son goes home and I am dreading it. I got a bit tipsy on Christmas Day which was just a way to avoid things again. I am determined to belt up now and really try. I love the idea of a bucket list. There are things my husband wanted to do but never got the chance so I feel like I should at least try. I just wish I could pull myself out of this hole but I am going to try. Thanks to all of you for being there. It really does help. Hope you all have a peaceful day. Sending hugs. 
3 Likes
Hi @Billie7
Wishing you a peaceful day.
It will be hard to see your son go home after spending Christmas together 
Now nack to our new normal of handling things on your own.
Hopefully a time for reflection of things you want to go next year going forward.
The weather here is very wet and windy think its like that all over the country.
Maybe so tidy up of my clothes that no longer fit or have never been worn to go to charity shop later today
Whatever your doing today have a good one
Lynne
1 Like
Can totally resonate with you - 8 months in, still devastated as ever!
Take care x
1 Like
Hi Lynn
That was what I was thinking. The house is a tip so thought I would do some serious cleaning. At least I will have done something productive. I am also going to make a list of things I am going to do. I know I have to keep busy. The weather is horrible here in the Northwest. It is just constant rain. Hope you have a good day. Xxx
2 Likes
Well never to late to learn . Grasp the nettle . It’s incredibly difficult to put it out it out of your mind . When you have been with someone for so long but you have to look to the future and it’s in a way celebrating the love ones life we have lost . That is the way I have to look at it . But every day is a struggle at the moment even 2years since I lost my darling girl . I wish you all the best Jeff x
2 Likes
Thanks Jeff. I can do things in short bursts and then my mind goes into overdrive. I am no good with time on my hands but have a tendency to overdo things and then get exhausted. The one thing I am going to do is learn to say no and stop people pleasing. Thanks for reaching out. It really helps. Makes me feel a little less alone. X
2 Likes
Hi @ Jeff007
I think at 66 it might be able to drive but dont think the roads would be ready for my driving.
Maybe i will just travel book short breaks.
Planning Belfast next year and maybe even Paris then further afield funds permitting.
Anyway something to add to bucket list
Lynne
2 Likes
Just think of the independence it would give you . And at 66 your still a youngster !!
And you may think you couldn’t do it . And maybe not at the moment and it’s not as hard as you may think . I just hope I may at least have planted a seed !! . Take care x
2 Likes
I feel the same . When the few people that have asked me how am i how am I doing . I just say ( oh I’m ok) but I have decided to tell them just how I feel at the time and not just what they won’t to hear me say . I sorry if that makes them feel uncomfortable . So like you I’m done with the people pleasing bit . Al the best x
3 Likes
Hi
Sometimes, if you tell them how you really feel they dont know what to say. The reply i got from my daughter here who stays about 1hr away - was so sorry to hear that but you really just need to deal with it as she said she has here own life and things
to deal with - so like i say people sometimes cant cope.
Life is tough but my husband would have said move on look after yourself when i’m gone you will be on your own.
Now i am without him how right he was.
X
2 Likes
If you do decide to learn definitely an automatic. No pesky clutch and gear changing. All you then have to concentrate on is steering and brake. If you get too close some cars will even brake for you.
1 Like
Thanks
But dont think i would use a car.
Anyway, dont think the roads would be ready for my driving
Did some about 30 years ago wasn’t good then !!
1 Like
Know what you mean. Was told by a professional police driver that I was a safe driver but that is not a good driver. Couldn’t park. Reversed into a fire escape and a good sized tree. Only ever had three accidents and one wasn’t my fault. He drove out if a side road into the side of me. Other 2 slow speed.
1 Like
I’m so sorry to hear your daughter’s comment to you . My daughter on the other hand has been a absolute rock . She is her mother’s daughter no mistake . She has been looking out for me we have always had a rock sold relationship . She is also starting her fourth year studying to be a councillor she has her mother’s compassion and I think she will do well in helping people . It must be hard for her seeing me cope with my grief as well as her own as she was very close to her dear mum . And keeping the councillor perspective in mind . She is very vivacious a bit like me . My son is a good lad but very different in temperament to his sister . But he is a closed book regarding the lose of his mum I have tried to get into his head about his feelings . He was very close to his mum as well but think he finds it difficult and upsetting to say how he is on the inside . I try not to ask but I hope there both ok and not just thinking of me . All the best
1 Like
Had driving lessons at 18. Could not do it. Had driving instructor aftetwood. Took my husband and 3 instructors and I passed at 32, failed once. My Auntie passed at 57 after falling 6 times. X
1 Like
Shows it can be done 
1 Like
How I got through Xmas day I just don’t know. Spent it on my own, with my cat! Went a walk to break the boredom and nearly broke down with cheery people calling out Happy Christmas. I had a quick cuppa with kind neighbours but it only emphasised the aloneness. No-one can replace your life partner.
3 Likes