Hi Lynne, thank you for replying. From my own perspective, I have found it really helpful speaking to others who have lost their soulmate. Not to be morbid, just to know someone understands and won’t just churn out inane thoughts xx Diane
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Hi Lyn
Like you I am trying to make a new life for myself and it is so hard. I have made some new friends and doing some volunteer work at Kiplin Hall. I also go to Zumba and out for coffee/lunch with friends. My daughters have been wonderful and we go dancing and visit places on my bucket list. But, it is not enough.
I just crave company and experiences. It’s as if I am constantly trying to fill this big hole in my heart. I want to travel and experience life which is hard on my own. What people don’t realise is that it is so exhausting making new friends and making events happen in your new life.
Take care Lyn
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Hi @ Lyn2507
We all find it hard to make new friends do new things travel etc. We are so used of travelling as a couple and most people we meet on holidays are couples.
Their are solo holidays but these can be expensive as usually supplements apply.
However i am determined to go on holiday on my own it will be hard but i am sure there are other people too who are doing the same.
I plan travelling to ireland next year and see how i cope.
Take care
Lynne
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Hi well I’m off to Vietnam for 3 weeks in March and the national parks in the USA in May . And as much as I am looking forward to it I am still filled with a little trepidation . It is with a group . I obviously don’t know if they will all be couples but hay ho . I have said my wife and I planned to go there so I’m doing it for both of us . Time stalks us all !! so go do it is what I say what ever that my be 
bless you all
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@Lyn2507
The very fact that you are trying and by the look of it you are succeeding is a massive step in the right direction. It is exhausting but the more you do it, the more eventually it will become your new norm. It will all settle down in time, we just have to give ourselves permission to not be too hard on ourselves. The important thing is not allowing grief to overwhelm our lives where we become stagnant and unable to edge forwards but also knowing when to just rest and absorb everything happening to us. Look how far you have come and give yourself a big hug and most importantly be proud of yourself
Hugs
Lyn x
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Hi @Jeff007
Need to let me know about your trip to Vietnam as one of my places to visit on list.
Take care
Lynne
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My dear wife would have applauded you sentiments as do I . Some days the grief I feel Is quite debilitating then I hear her say come on Jeff chin up . So that’s why I push on as best I can at the moment in the hopes it will ease . All the best in what you decide to do with your new future x
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Will do it’s a beautifully country . We only ever heard about it when the yanks where blowing the hell out of it !!
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Im hoping to go away next year, but dont really want to go without my beloved Lesley. We had some fantastic holidays together. I don’t want this new norm x
I think we all agree about the new norm . It’s not what any of us wanted . But it is now a fact of life . The saying what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger . I truly hope that is true for us all !! X
@Jeff007
It isn’t what any of us wanted I agree, it was out of our control and you are right we cannot change what’s happened. My Jim has gone no longer here and not coming back so what am I supposed to do, be forever unhappy and sad or live my life until it’s my turn . We can’t give up on ourselves because we are still here and yes what doesn’t kill us does make us stronger
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@Jeff007
You keep pushing on and it seems like you are doing well with a positive attitude. I applaud that and wish you well with your new future to x
Thank you for your kind words . And I wish you the same X
@Misprint same here. Had the 4 year anniversary on 20th & then the 5th Christmas without Derek & it doesn’t get any easier. As much as it’s been wonderful to see our young grandson it also breaks my heart that he never met his grandad. I spent Christmas Day with my Mum as we always did, but she has been diagnosed with dementia & it’s been so hard trying to be happy. Making memories with Mum is important but she doesn’t remember it’s Christmas. She often asks where Derek is as she forgets he’s passed away & that’s so difficult too. But Derek loved Christmas & I do try and enjoy it for him but it’ll never be the same 
Take care & sending love & strength x
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Sending that back to you 2 fold x
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Hi . Thank you for your reply. I have found getting through Christmas very hard, but the love from my family helped tremendously. I am so blessed to have such a beautiful family and my family are all grieving together at the loss of a wonderful husband/ father and granddad. I am determined that in the New Year I will book a holiday, but need to get through memorial dates first.
Take care everyone.
I am so sorry for you loss and the pain you are going through. This site gives us to platform to reach out to others . I hope your pain eases after the Christmas. x x
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Hi Lynn. It is really hard. I have been trying to get out for a walk everyday but the weather doesn’t help. I am hoping once we get through Christmas things will get a little easier but the pain can come out of nowhere and really floor me. Sending all my love to all of you out there. We will get through this. Xxx
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I feel for you . I have also experienced this lack of caring when I would be the exact opposite. Don’t loose heart there are caring people out there . It’s so sad that at times of great need we are forced to go it alone . I wish you strength to get through the worst days and that there will be other days of respite for you . Xx
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Thank you for sharing. It is so hard during holidays. I booked a cruise as I couldn’t stay home and somehow Christmas i managed to block it out as it wasn’t like a family gathering, however yesterday broke me completely. I couldn’t get out of bed let alone the room. Ive cried so much devastated, thinking how happy and in love we were a year ago, making plans and feeling blessed and how cruel and devastating 2023 has been
So difficult to know what to do or how yo start healing. Just take solace knowing my soulmate is no longer suffering
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