I’m fed up with my life I have no one to talk to anymore. Me and Jim used to be together 24/7 and did everything together now I’m all alone and find I’m talking to myself and feel I’m going mad I’m done nothing wrong but I’m as bad as a prisoner in solitary confinement. My life’s a mess I’m cold and my fridge has never looked so empty . It’s pouring with rain and I feel so so depressed how I wish I could go back and be with Jim. I want to be with him.
I’m lying on the bed misprint. I have read half a book walked my dog and there is still half a day to get through. I can’t seem to find enthusiasm. I am so sad and alone and only feel happy when I’m talking about H. It makes him feel close People don’t want to hear. I sit hear and wonder if they ever think about how I am spending my day. I don’t think so. I struggle to get through each day and wonder if it will always be like this. We spent our first date in Blackpool. We went to see Englebert in concert. I remember trying wigs on that we had bought and having photos taken in the booth in boots. When we came out we had been laughing that much we had gathered a crowd. It was such a romantic date. Our first. It was love at first sight. I knew when I saw him we would be married. X
What a lovely memory you have. It seems that’s all we got now memories. I sometimes wish I had dementia I know that sounds bad but then I wouldn’t know Jim was gone.
I remember going on a ferry to Ireland and our dog a boxer at the time broke out of the crate they put him in and he was running round loading deck stopping the lorries coming on till we went down and got him he was a white dog but he was covered in black marks we was embarrassed but laughed about it afterwards. Yeah happy days. I stay in bed as well what’s the point in getting up no ones coming to see me I’m forgotten about.
Hi Nel and Misprint
I too am sat alone but I’m in Ian’s car at one of our favourite places. It’s where we came when he got his awful diagnosis and it’s where I came the day he died. I sit here for hours. I can’t bear the silence and loneliness of the house. In a strange way , I feel at peace here.
We also spent most of our time together as both retired. Day trips were the norm and I’m just lost without him. I live far away from friends and family and have just a few acquaintances nearby. Like you Nel, I often wonder how people think I spend my day. They ask if I’m ok but don’t really want to know.
It’s now just over 34 weeks since Ian left me and the grief is still as overwhelming. I can’t face a future without Ian as I can never be whole again.
I’m so glad I found this site and friends, at times it’s been the only thing keeping me going.
I feel forgotten about sometimes and then I remind myself that I have Smudge and he needs me. He is my purpose for going out otherwise I don’t think I would. Just taken him for a walk. He’s now lying with his head on my knee. I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps sometimes and keep telling myself I can do this. I say this over and over like a mantra. It’s the loneliness of not seeing him. I look at his photo and think how can you not be here. I still think that sometimes I am in denial. I read an article the other day saying that cortisol is at its highest in the morning and that is why we feel more anxiety. It became clear that is why I have such stomach anxiety when I wake up. On top of that I then realise what has happened. It’s so relentless grief. Take care x
I think people just get on with their lives, I thought this morning the only person really is me that misses my husband so much and it seems so wrong that my world has come to an end and everything just carries on, I’m just starting to notice the silence of the house and I’m not really bothered to go out much now and this is it maybe it’s because it’s Valentine’s Day it’s more in my face, hugs to all of us missing our other halves xx
Hiya mab went out for lunch with friends had to come home a couldn’t cope what a wimp a tried lv annie x x
I know how you feel I’m been out today came home to a quite cold empty house and just burst into tears . Just keep saying to myself poor Jim he didn’t deserve that.
Misprint so angry with myself I was a confident women was a care manager for 27 years dealing with everything but can’t cope with myself know lv annie x x
It’s different when it’s yourself going though it mate . Don’t beat yourself up we cant change what’s happened. I just miss all the little things this may sound silly but I just moved an ornament and remembered Jim buying it for me cause it is a chihuahua dog like ours and I burst into tears . I need to pull myself together
Me to misprint I have lost the plot got to have serious talk to myself a can’t go on like this walked out from my lunch with my good friends couldn’t cope lv Annie can x
Dear misprint and Annie everything is so different for all of us, I’ve become an emotional wreck and how can we be ok, we’ve lost everything, it’s impossible to try and fit into the world that we lived in, it’s all changed and we’re on our own, everything else just carries on, at least we have each other and we don’t have to pretend that we’re ok, Valentine’s Day was always going to be a tough one because it’s all about love hugs xx
I feel the same just want to go to sleep forever what do we do xxx
I too just want to got sleep and not wake up. I feel I also died that day too. I’m 10 weeks in and I just can’t understand what’s the point to this life. I don’t want to cause pain to my friends and my family. But I don’t feel the same about anything. I lost my soul to my soul mate the day he died.
Nothing will ever be the same, it’s seven months today that I lost my lovely Lee and how can it be that I will never see him, talk with him or hug him ever again, he was my life and I miss him so, he’s always with me I think about him all the time my heart is truly broken and I died the same day he did ! I feel so miserable without him
Morning mab we I lost our sole mates it’s never going to be okay supposed to be be meet-up with friend a coffee shop just text her to say I’m not well I’m a coward lv hugs annie x
I’m the same Annie. Would she not come to your house and then may a little walk and venture further each day to gain a little confidence x
Hiya nel just text her to come to my house i feel safer here lv ya annie x
That’s good. You have company and if you tell her how you feel she will understand. You can go for little walks around the local houses and build up your confidence x
Hiya nel my friend came round had. Walk along beach it was lovely lv annie. X