It’s a lovely sunny evening here and I feel quite sociable today………I would dearly love to go out somewhere and meet new people/ try and make new friends. But I just don’t know where I can go on my own. I don’t feel comfortable walking into a pub on my own.
How I wish there was a club specially for widows and widowers to meet up and have a chat and a drink, maybe listen to sone live music etc.
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Im very lucky because I have two wonderful dogs who are like magnets to strangers
When I feel down I just take them for a walk and amazingly just finish up sitting outside a cafe for a flat white and a slab of cake. I spend quite a time chatting to strangers while sipping away. I quickly learned that other people are feeling a bit lonely and love to befriend us.
For longer term friends, I joined the U3a, and joined a ukulele band, and later a choir. Ive made loads of friends who just keep in touch, and are always available to have a cuppa and a chat.
The key to it is to get out there and make it happen
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Hi hope,
I know what you mean, it is difficult, but I have found groups to join that do just that.
I have discovered my local knit and natter group, you don’t have to knit, you can just go along for a chat, also my local armchair yoga group.
I’m not a big church person, but twice a month I go along for a lunch club , maybe there are things that are local to you that would fit.
Good to chat with others xx
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Thanks both of you. Yes you’re right, you do have to make it happen.
I phoned a friend that I’ve made at craft club recently who I know is single too last night and asked her what she does on a Friday night? We ended up going for a drink at a local pub that had a live band playing and we had a really nice evening as well as a good old dance.
I’m very lucky that I’ve got friends to go out with.
Still hate every minute at home on my own though. Hopefully one day I’ll get used to that.
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We all in the same boat, doesn’t matter if it was a partner or a prarent Like you I wished there was some sort of club or way to meet similar people in the same situation. We expected to ring a phone line and talk to a stranger and that’s the only answer available to us. Ie Cruise it’s still not good enough really. What are we suppose to do after the phone call ? I have friends that check on me, but then I’m alone again.
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Aww, wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better for all of us. Keith, but it’s something we have all got to find a way to live with somehow.
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You are so right, I get out and about as much as possible, but the emptiness at home is the hardest part
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There is no easy way to remove the loneliness I feel in the house so I go out all the time.
Don’t know what I will do in winter,I dread the thought. But it’s ok out at this time of the year and when I get back I feel better and tired so managetosleep a bit better not good just beter. Get out when you can and if you feel able
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I have to do any shopping, appointments, or social activities between 10.30 and 3.30 on weekdays. My daughter is at home the rest of the time. She has special needs and unable to walk. Apart from wheeling her down the lane a few hundred yards we are virtually house-bound.
Weekends are a bit challenging, especially if the garden is out of bounds in bad weather.
I do understand that in your situation you are limited at the weekend this is the time I feel it worse particularly Sundays we always tried to do some thing in the garden when the weather was good. Now I just find it stressful
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I think life is stressful and obviously taking on premises. I’m on my own and I feel rushed at the moment to cram everything in. Not too mention hospital appointments too. Time is precious but do we really get enough of time or get time to appreciate it ?
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So you would love to go but not no your own just say if you want to. We could meet up and go. Drink and something to eat and have a chat together. Only if you want. Let me know thank you Lynda
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Very true, @tykey - so much of recovery and rebuilding our lives has to come from us, from within. It isn’t easy and it can hurt, seeing all the couples about, blissfully ignorant of their luck and how quickly life can turn against us. Taking a simple first step, like joining a book group, or walking group, takes a heck of a lot of courage but hopefully, after that, things, arrangements to meet people, plans, will follow.
Good luck with today, everyone x
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Since my wonderful husband died in 2022 I don’t like being at home alone or being out with couples. I have joined several organisations and made new acquaintances but still feel ‘friendless’.
It might help someone out there if I described my experiences -
It seems to me that the best groups to join are those where people do an activity together especially if it means talking to each other! I don’t find those where you listen to speakers any help at all.
Best for me is short mat bowling, followed by a book group. I also belong to Singing for Health- lifts the spirits but not very good socially. My local U3A has a Members On Their Own group - sociable outings and monthly coffee mornings- good for those who find weekends difficult.
Small walking groups can be good; in big ones you may find friends come in groups leaving you isolated.
I joined the local widows group. Nice people, but I don’t seem to be on their wavelength!
It’s very hard to join things when you don’t know anybody. Try to speak to an organiser first and tell them you are concerned as you will be coming alone.
Hope this helps someone. Grief combined with loneliness is so hard to bear- my thoughts are with everyone enduring it.
Good luck and warm wishes x
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Could you find your local sue Ryder bereavement group you could find people at the same stage of life as you are or volunteer in one of their shops its a great way of making new friends
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I know what you mean all my friends are couples but now I’ve lost my partner i don’t feel the same when I’m out with them i feel I’m just in their way
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It is hard to make new friends and join groups. Two weeks after my husband passed away at end of 2022 I saw an advert on face book for a new quiz group that was starting up. My husband and I both loved quizzing, so thought I would give it a go. Very nerve wracking walking in on my own and luckily on 5 people turned up for that first one. It was run by Brendoncare who run community groups for the over 60’s in Dorset and Hampshire. The ones that attended were in the same position as me, widowed/widower. They were very supportive. Three months later I joined the seated keep fit class and monthly film club. This year I have also joined the kurling club. From these clubs, I made friends with another lady and we now go on shopping trips and coach day tours. I also joined a monthly craft and chat that is held in local museum’s tearooms and go to a craft group every Saturday. From the craft group I have made another friend and we go for lunch every couple of weeks and also coach day trips. It is a big step for me as I suffer from agoraphobia and each day is a struggle to go out of the house. I can hear my husband saying how proud he is of me that I have taken that step and making a new life for myself. That doesn’t diminish the fact I miss him terribly and the evenings are still the hard part. If anyone lives in Dorset/Hampshire area I would say have a look at Brendoncare. Everyone I have met in the groups have been so friendly and supportive
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Hi @Caw1 . I’m absolutely sure your husband would be very proud of the positive way you have approached your new life. You should be proud of yourself as well.
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Thank you. I am slowly beginning to feel proud of what I have achieved. I know he is looking down on me and cheering me on. Take care and big hugs to everyone
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Hi
In my local parks there are little plaques on the benches that say if you are feeling alone and fancy a chat take a seat .
It’s a great idea and does work
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