Year 1 after losing my husband was filled with organising, sorting, and dealing with 1st year anniversary dates. It was so sad, but I now feel that I can’t impose my sadness on my very small circle of family and friends, so I smile and say I’m ok, but I’m really not. I feel so alone. I am sitting here every night just eating anything as comfort. I know it will get better, but I have never felt so scared and alone.
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JayZ,
I am sorry you are going through this. Have you tried the doctors for antidepressants, might be worth a try. Or asked about counselling. I go to a bereavement coffee morning, I know it’s not for everyone, but you are with people who understand.
There is no set time in grief. We all grieve differently. Don’t be hard on yourself, we all loose our confidence, we have lost are safety net. Just take it step by step.
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I passed the two year mark in October, and can honestly say that year 2 has been far worse than the first year. The loneliness is terrible. I do have cats, so a little company. I try to reverse the day, and do emails, washing, phone calls etc in the evening, to keep busy, and also do online word puzzles. Eating the main meal a bit later can help, too, as then there’s cooking and washing up. Totally sympathise, as it’s not just grief, but a complete resetting of your life, and yes, it’s very scary.
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Iam also in my 2nd yr with no hope
but still believing
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I am so sorry that life is so difficult for you. Until it happens, you have no idea just how hard life becomes and how empty it is. Days no longer have the same structure and business so can appear endless. I have found that belonging to a choir and an art class does me good. Im not gifted at either but both are completely absorbing and so I think about something else for 4 hours every week.
See if there any local activities you can join. They really do help and it’s amazing how many people you meet who are in the same boat as you are.
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I am also in my second year after losing my husband and it is so much worse than year one. I just see time in front of me without him and I can’t bear it. I cry for no reason and miss him more now than ever. I don’t feel I can share this with anyone as people think I should be over it by now. I wake each morning wishing I had not. I simply do not want to continue without him.
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Hi
Your words echo exactly how I feel. It’s been four years now and thought of more lonely and sad years just fills me with heartache.
I’ve tried to be positive but the tears still flow and the pain of losing him is always with me.
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I’m so sorry about what you are going through. My husband died in 2024 and the second year is definitely harder than the first. The first year people were hugging me, bringing me flowers, calling me etc. This year I’m totally ignored. I know they are busy and it’s not intentional but it does get lonely. That’s when I turn to God and ask for his help to get through this time. And help does come. I don’t go to church although church can be very nice. I don’t feel comfortable around strangers anymore. Remember you will be reunited eventually with your husband in Heaven in God’s time as will I with my husband. Remember, Jesus said, “I go to prepare a place for you.” and he did just that.
Please don’t feel alone. I’d be most happy to correspond with you anytime you feel lonely. I’ll say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
Snowy Evening
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For me, it’s been feeling the absolute permanence of it. I’m not done with it yet. Some of the everyday things I’ve learned to do are easier, but the emotional heaviness has been so unrelenting.
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Carton, I feel the same way . I lost my wife almost two years ago. She suffered from dementia and I was her caregiver. I feel worse off now than a year ago. I try so hard to put on a positive face with friends and family, but I feel so alone and lost. I have attended grieving sessions with others, and that helps, but I still end up sitting at home alone and crying every night. I feel so lucky and happy to have had 43 wonderful years with my wife, it’s just that sometimes I feel like I’ve been left behind. I know that Mary , my wife , is around me all the time, and keeping an eye on me, but I just feel so lost. Thank you all for listening. Mike
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I just started year 2 and am already finding it more difficult. The loneliness is something that can’t be cured by being around others because I’m lonely for him. It’s a very hard time of life. Wishing you peace.
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Jayz. My husband passed 2023 I know exactly how you feel, life goes on and we are not moving with it anymore, on top of that we have to deal with bills upkeep of home and everything that our husbands shared with us, and that’s scary too, all I want to say is take one day at a time and ask yourself would he want to see you so unhappy, start and try and live for him as well, you have his love always in your heart 
hold onto that love as each day dawns, sending you a hug xx
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Sending you all hugs and love as the Christmas season starts, as we are missing the ones we loved most 
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Yes, I’m not done w/ year 2 and have found it really hard, maybe the hardest year of my life?
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Lets pray for one another to receive Gods grace in this very difficult season. I too feel lost and sad and only rely on him to move me forward little by little.
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Year 2 is awful. People talk about getting through year 1 and all the firsts but year 2 feels like a dagger in your heart. It’s hard and also terrifying to see a way forward
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I agree. The permanence; reality of loss following the first year of shock and trauma. I think there is a madness’ in grief too. You lose part of yourself as well as your Beloved. Thank Goodness we aren’t immortal. The pain and yearning is more than one, we can bear. My heart is with each and everyone here
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So sorry for everyone’s pain. Lost my husband of 46 years 7 months ago, my emotions are skyrocketing these days, suppose it’s because of the Christmas. I’ve lost my protector, my support, my safe place. As much as I try everything seems pointless and sad, never ever will it be the same which is heartbreaking. No one understands what we’re going through unless they’ve been here in this devastating situation. The whole body and brain grief is overwhelming to say the least. Trying so hard to push myself out of this despair lately, I know my darling husband would not want me feeling this bad. what can I say, it’s grief and it sucks. Peace and love to you all
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It will be 3 year’s January for me, and I’m still in denial all I know as each day ends I’m closer to being with him, I have no advice for getting through this, I wish I could wave a magic wand and we all had our husbands/partners back
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Me too