You get married you raise your family you start to plan your future then bit by bit things are taken away from you . The kids leave home and make their own life , you husband get taken so suddenly you don’t have time to say the things you want to say , then once your husband has gone you then start to loose the links to him , today my little dog had to be put to sleep . It makes me wonder why is all this happening to me what have I ever done to deserve all of this , is there no end and what has my life become I call it a life it’s not it’s an existence.
Hi, so sorry and sad about your little dog . It does feel like we have done something wrong to deserve all this hurt and devastation that is happening to us . All we ever did was love our partners with everything .all we wanted was to grow old with them . I don’t even feel like I’m existing . I’m non existing now in a nothing world . I am nothing . Sending love and a big hug xtake carex
Yes I to just exist……. Dreams gone life gone
Nobody absolutely no one who still has a partner knows what we are going through
Cry buckets at the drop of a hat well cry buckets all the time……
It’s totally utterly horrible
Well there’s no word to describe it
I’m certainly not the person I was by a long chalk and in reality I never will be again
Sendings hugs to you all
Hi your right there are no words to describe how we feel . Even though it’s over a year . I still can’t believe this has happened to us . We always were together . Didn’t bother with friends . We just loved each other’s company and made each other laugh all the time . Such a happy life I had . Now indescribable . Xtake carex
My nephew did the eulogy at Paul’s funeral
He said we were happy in each other’s company
Spot on for all of us here
Miss Paul so much it’s beyond hurting
I agree, there’s no words to describe how we feel.
I couldn’t even begin to articulate my utter sense of loss and disbelief after my wonderful husband passed suddenly and unexpectedly 5 months ago.
Awful isn’t it this new reality?
In the midst of our sadness though, I’d like to give out a heartfelt thought…that we are all lucky enough to have someone who we loved SO much that we were happiest in their company, and best of all, they loved US back xx
Thankfully we can share our thoughts on here with people who understand. Wishing some peace and calm to you all x
Like you I am starting to find peace in my own company. I used to go out every single day, and was always looking forward to something.
When Ron died 4 years ago I had to be out of the house every minute of every day. Gradually though I started to enjoy being at home. I have no motivation anymore to do any repairs or hobbies but I actually look forward to the nights, sitting alone and watching a good film.
I still feel immensly lonely but I feel that anyway evenwhen I am out with friends.
I never realised how much losing your beloved partner can change you.
In a strange but ‘comforting ‘ way it’s reassuring to read all your thoughts
It’s a pity we don’t live nearer each other
We are all living the same
We moved 10 days before Paul died as I’ve said earlier we so wanted to live here
Paul wanted me here and saw me here
Plenty to do outside etc and that’s what I do best
But as you know thoughts still there
I don’t like going out prefer here as I feel close to Paul
Went out for a coffee yesterday with a school friend but I so wanted to get back
I know I could easily turn into a lonely (old!) hermit
It’s safe isn’t it
No face to put on ,no couples to see, no holiday talk to listen to …… no pretending
But as my Paul would say
It is what it is
And he says Life goes on
As you all know without our loved one Life doesn’t go on
Big hugs to you all
It’s coming up to one year since I lost my darling hubby.
He was one of those people who always had a smile on his face or was ready with a witty comment just to brighten the day.
He was such a lovely soul
He loved to see people enjoy themselves and would go out of his way to make them feel comfortable and welcome.
We loved each others company and the house was always full of laughter. I would however tell him off for being noisy sometimes. He could usually be heard before he was seen! Either pretending to tap dance on the kitchen floor, singing songs “all the right words, but not necessarily in the right order” or tapping on the dinning table using it like a piano.
I would occasionally, in annoyance say can’t you just stop and be quite for just a few seconds.
Oh! how I wish my lovely, silly, happy, funny, noisy, amazing man was still here.
Such is the price of love
Keep safe, take care and be kind to yourselves
Hi i lost my beloved husband mark on the 29th September. Got told at 10.00 he only had couple of hours from the drs in the hospice. He suddenly awoke we got married and had photos taken and then he fell asleep for good. It was like he done what he had to do. It feels like my heart is literally breaking. And like all of yous i feel so lost and lonely even in a room full of people. Keep asking myself why me. I lost my first husband when he was 34 and i was 32 of a heart attack. Mark was 58 and 23 years together. I feel like i sick of being strong now. I just want mark. X
So sorry to hear about your dog. I am the same, I feel like I’m existing and I am spending a lot of time on my own. I need to move out of my house because it is far too big for me on my own but I don’t know where I want to move and I am afraid of losing all the memories and the familiarity that I have with where we walked and the people who knew him and every memory I have of him. We didn’t have time to say all of the things which we should have said. It’s so difficult when you planned a future together and now you have to live it alone. People say to me that the grief with lessen, and I am sure it will, but I don’t want to lose the memories, however much they hurt. I hope you can find some calm and distraction and move forward and I wish you all the best, take care. xxx
Jubilee hi I know what you meant about moving home I wish I could I moved from my home town in to a village that rob grew up in so he could be closer to his gran, my home town is only 18 miles away so not too far but I have my son ,daughter and mum in the village . I’m in a three bedroom house on my own but it holds so many memories as we lived her for about 30 years so memories of the kids growing up In this house and I don’t want to loose that . I already feel I’m loosing links to rob especially with having to have my little dog put to sleep yesterday
Take care too xxx
Hi All and welcome JCSmith
That’s the thing tho memories…… I don’t just want memories I want my Paul back
I feel as each days passes Paul us getting further away and god help a new year 2023
We must must believe they are always with us in our hearts in us!
A lot easier said than done I grant you
And it’s shit and it hurts
I have no words of wisdom or a magic wand
And don’t know if I’ll get through this lonely empty silent existence……
Suppose we all will but be ‘changed’ forever
I know exactly where you are coming from, I lost my husband of 50 years last August. I then had to make the decision to have my beautiful dog put down etc life can be a bitch. I hear my dog all the time and it makes me cope better knowing he is with my husband forever. Try and imagine them together. X
Hi and welcome Lorraine 3
Yes it’s a mind thing
Our loved ones will always be in our minds and in our hearts forever…… doesn’t ease the pain tho when we are at our lowest
That’s the price of love
Miss Paul so much
He was my shoulder to lean on, voice of reason, loved me for me, was great company, great friend in fact great everything!!
Life’s a bitch and cancer sucks
I can so relate to all that people are saying here. When you are with your partner living a happy existence you just can’t imagine what life would be without them and then suddenly things take a devastating turn. I lost my beautiful wife to Covid-19 in April 2020, right at the start of the pandemic, and due to being kept apart didn’t get time to say all the things we should have. When she was taken to hospital, I had no idea she would never come home. It is true that it’s now just an existence and not a fulfilling life anymore, how can it be without my precious Louisa? I just can’t get over the loss and I have so much guilt and sadness about certain things I did and didn’t do! I am not the person I was two and a half years ago, my life has diminished so much. I still cannot believe life has taken this cruel turn and the future does not include Louisa. I hate being without her and can’t see it ever changing. It’s so true that those still with their loved ones have no idea how painful, utterly miserable and overwhelming the situation is for us all. I wish you all peace and solace xx
Sorry to hear .
I understand and send caring thoughts as I had lost 3 friends , my dog , then my husband died 5 months ago .
5 weeks later my best friend died suddenly .
I suffered a stroke and lost some of my sight , Im trying to put back the pieces but am lost .
Where do you start . feeling very lonely and vulnerable .
Welcome to you Kerrie - My heart goes out to you, that’s one hell of a rough time you’ve had!
I sincerely hope you can feel some support from this message board. Sending you love xx
Thank You for your kind words .
I can assure it’s not your fault but these things are necessary to prevent further suffering.
I too feel abandoned having lost my wife in march 2019 then getting my diagnosis in September 2019. I don’t think I’ve grieved as yet now tomorrow I’m in Oncology for an extended Biopsy before hopefully being taken on by Queen Elizabeth hospital in Birmingham to discuss future options. My tumours are rare and can’t be treated with chemotherapy or radiotherapy so makes me feel worse but even worse is the way I rarely see the people who matter to me.
You, all I can suggest is to talk about how you feel and not suffer in silence… please.