I can relate to your post in so many ways. My husband died 7 months ago & he was my life. We were together from 16 and we were 62 when he died from a type of blood cancer. I still don’t see myself as a widow - I will always be his wife. I’m not interested in meeting anyone else as I know no-one could take his place in my heart. I can’t afford to retire yet so had to return to work & found it gives me a break from life - I have something else to focus on & enjoy having a laugh with my colleagues - once the awkwardness of my return had passed. The times I struggle are when I am home & the reality of life without him hits. I find the house & garden overwhelming (he was always the gardener, it’s really not my thing) & things often feel like they’re getting on top of me. The thought of this being my life forever is so depressing and yet I have no choice - I miss him massively but more than that, I miss us.
Jasmine, that is exactly it…we all miss us. How sad for us all.
So well put. The missing of ‘us’.
When our loved ones die it does feel like we are missing a part of ourselves.
We now have to take the time to heal the wounds and grow some new part to fill the gap.
Might not be as good as it was but I think we all need to try if we have any chance at some peace.
Hope folks have a week filled with some good things. Xx
I was told your only 44 your young enough to meet someone else and grow old with them. I was gobsmacked I don’t want someone else there’s only one person I wanted to grow old with and now I can’t, I imagine myself as a single bitter angry old woman 
It’s unbelievable what people say and so soon after (mine about 8 weeks) yours sounds very soon after
Completely agree a big part of me died with him that day
I think your not the same person anymore and you’ve got to learn to live a different life
I am 56 and I know that’s it ! Me too will be bitter and single ! Nick was my 3rd husband that’s why I know he was “perfect” for me no other man came close and I certainly didn’t feel the way with the others as I did when I married Nick ! He was the “one “ and I say one so now we was taken nearly 8 weeks ago that’s me done 30+ years alone !
He was my 1st but had a 7year relationship before him, he took me on with 2 young kids and showed me what love was and how a woman should be treat he raised the kids as his own. He was one of the best I’d dare say as close to the perfect man as you could get. I would rather spend the rest of my life on my own I’ve lost my soulmate no one will ever come close.
We singing from the same hymn sheet me and you. Once you’ve had that kind of relationship nothing could come close x
Agree totally I’m done we were together from age 14 I’m 61 so maybe 20+ years but know don’t want anyone else
Same possibly another 35-45 for me
When the kids leave home if it’s lonely I’ll fill it full of dogs
It’s daunting thought , my kids are both married with families but luckily they live close by see them daily help out with childcare for grandchildren which helps me if I find myself going down just pick kids up take them out take care x
I get what your saying, My husband had 3 grown up kids of his own and when we got together he said he now had 4 kids with my son who was just 5 at the time, not everyone gets to experience that kind of relationship I agree x
I said from day one I’m not having anymore because I didn’t want the 2 lads being treat differently, sharp realised they never would be so along came Lincoln (12 now) and all 3 were his x
Beautiful isn’t it any man can father a child, but it takes a special man to become a Dad, my own son lost his Father 3 months before my Nick, his own father age 56, found dead in his flat. He wasn’t a very nice man, and my son didn’t even know what to say about his own father at his funereal , then 3 months later , his step dad , my Nick is taken, my son said " oh this is how i should of felt then when my father died " he was gutted beyond words, and had plenty of nice memories to say of Nick at his funeral x
My oldest 2 said they took the wrong one (sperm donor is a waste of space no contact for 12 years) they thought the world of him like your son x
why did they get taken then? the good guys, our soulmates the ones who found us and loved us, why were they taken too soon? x
I wish we knew why it’s a cruel world
Hello I am 52 and was widowed 2 weeks ago. I was first widowed when I was 40 after being married for 20 years. I went onto remarry, then in 2018 my 14 year old Son passed away. At the end of April 2024 my second Husband was diagnosed with cancer and passed away the end of May 
oh my dear, I thought I had it bad my ex husband age 56 was found dead in his flat 20/1/24 (no loss to me he was a wife beater ) but still my sons father! then my lovely husband died suddenly heart attack 15/4/24 , we had been together 24 years but only got married 17 months earlier when we ran off together to Gretna Green , we had just been to my home time Liverpool as my cousin was terminal cancer, I received a sympathy card from my cousin for my hubby , then 9 days later he also past on the 24/4/24! My anxiety is " what next ?? but I guess now I am not the only one with WHAT NEXT? x
Oh Holly, how dreadful for you, i hope you have a lot of support around. This forum will help as there is always someone to talk to and listen to your troubles and problems. Even if we haven’t got the answers it is just good to know that there are people around going through similar things. Although I cannot begin to imagine what you must be feeling like with all you have gone through. Sending the biggest hug to you x
Oh @Holly how awful your loss has been and still is.
I’m sure you must be a very strong person to have been managing all that grief - life can be so cruel can’t it.
Keep reaching out here - hopefully it will give you some comfort and support
Sending love and strength xxxx