Young Widow ( but not young enough!)

Oh @Holly how awful your loss has been and still is.
I’m sure you must be a very strong person to have been managing all that grief - life can be so cruel can’t it.
Keep reaching out here - hopefully it will give you some comfort and support

Sending love and strength xxxx

I am a widow at 49 lost my husband 3rd may this year we would being together 24 years in September I don’t want to be a widow hard to read informant of death widow on his death certificate I still am married to him I still where my rings hate the word widow

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I know exactly how the thirty years thing feels.
I am bereaved by about 7 weeks my best friend and partner who died tragically.
The only thing I can say is that as he had not been a life partner just last ten years I have other life experience and heartbreak that tells me that in ten years I will be a bit different. I’m not a councillor so not saying this is for you but my strategy is… take a risk , painful though it will be , meet someone new in the future…like music , we all have a favourite song …some others come along and are also quite catchy. Sending my love from a grieving heart also :two_hearts:

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lost my husband on 15th April , I still class my self as his " wife" and no widow, I will always wear my rings, I wear my husbands around my neck . x

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So sorry for your loss I buried my husband ring with him I felt at piece doing that feel like I am still his wife with him wearing his ring that’s what helps me at minute knowing that

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I think widow is a horrible word - I get that’s what I technically am, but I lost my hubby in October last year after almost 46 years together, 42 of which were married and I don’t feel any less married than I did before he died. I feel I will always be his wife & can’t see me ever wanting to take my wedding ring off.

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I agree I won’t take any jewellery off that I was given by my David, I don’t think its right when people say you are not married anymore either. I was not married to David, we were engaged and i had an eternity ring with 3 stones representing past present and future. The future is going to be sad for me but the memories of the past will stay with me forever and why would I want to take off the ring ?. I guess the only time you would is if you started a new relationship.

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I try to use widow in a positive way. It will always be negative in terms of we all know it means we have lost our special person. But…it also means people know I am married but my special person isn’t here…no further explanation needed.

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@Maz5

I like your strategy. Of course we all long for what we have lost but as we all know life is too short. Whatever happens next doesn’t mean that we loved our partners any less but we are still here and should live life to the full. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I hate the word as well.

I had to take off my wedding and engagement rings due to enlarged knuckles.

I had planned to get them both made bigger.
I was going to get it done later this year in time for our 45th wedding anniversary, as my anniversary present.

I will still get it done but it will be different and very emotional. He will not be able to put them on my fingers as he first did.

Rose xx

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I’m just about to turn 58 and lost my darling husband 7 weeks ago, he was also 58. I’m devastated, and although I have wonderful friends and family, I’m still so lonely without him. I live in Edinburgh and work full time, although I’m in sick leave just now. I’d love to find a group that understand how I feel, not to be maudlin, just to know instinctively what I’m going through. It would be nice to meet up with people who understand for activities too. I wish everyone going through this painful process, much love.

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We’re all here. What was your song ?

I’m so sorry for your loss and understand how you feel. I’m 52 and my husband was just 56 when he passed 3 months ago.
Living for my kids and trying to support them which is hard. Also off work and not sure when I will go back as I work in nhs mental health services.
I’m in Perth and could also do with a support group, but there’s not really any here that I can find. Perhaps you will have more luck in Edinburgh which is a much larger city ( and my home town :smiling_face:)
Posting here is good for support and others who really understand.
Sending strength and hugs xx

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Have a look online for a Jollie Dollies group, it is for ladies who have been widowed, they meet socially and of course will be very understanding of the situation because they have been through it too. I have just joined, we are all meeting next week :slight_smile:

I paid my subscription, was told which group I was to join and that they would be in touch. That was a while ago and haven’t heard anything since!

Can you contact them, I joined and then I got a message on whatsapp telling me about others in my area, then we had to arrange a meeting between ourselves. If you haven’t got whatsapp it is easy to get it, just look online or on Playstore on your phone.
Hope this helps

My husband suddenly had heart attack at me feet on the living room floor 15/4/24 then two days of torture in the icu where I thought he was going to get better instead I had to watch them switch his life support off! I am 56 he was 65, we were together 24 years and in September 2022 we eloped to Gretna Green and got married , after two previous crap marriages I feel totally robbed ! He was the love of my life , he was my life , I understand totally what you feel , we are in our 50’s and the thought of 30/40 years without them x

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I am so sorry. I totally agree. My husband was 57 when diagnosed, i was 56. He only has months left.
There are no groups for me in my area. Just want someone in same situation to talk to.
Wishing you well.