1 year today

In April 2019 I had a beautiful baby girl. It was a complicated pregnancy and thought she wouldn’t make it. At 35 weeks I went into labour at home and my beautiful baby girl was born. She was my fourth and last planned child.

A year ago today I woke to find her unresponsive. It all seems like it was a huge fog and not real.
The investigation concluded and the coroner said it was sudden infant death. The more time passed the more it sunk in, my heart ached and I didn’t want to be here. The pain has never gone away! This past week has been like I’m back when it happened. I’ve never really talked about it to any one. My partner left me on the day it happened And I’ve had to deal with it all with no support. I just needed to tell someone. Someone who’s lost a child, someone who understands

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your beautiful baby girl a year ago, and that your partner left you on the same day. It sounds as though you have been very alone with your grief. I’m glad that you’ve found this site, as it is really important to be able to talk about it and have some support - having no release for your emotions can make them even worse.

There are other bereaved parents on this site who will understand some of what you are going through. Hopefully some of them will be along to reply to your post soon. In the meantime, you may wish to read some other conversations in the Losing a Child section. For example, here are some posts by others who lost children as babies:
@Crushed posted Aching to hold my little girl
@Jamsuzied6 posted Genetic

Sue Ryder also offers a free online counselling service, if you feel that it might help you to talk to a qualified counsellor. Find out more: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Dear Tra,
This event must have been at the worst time of your life, couldn’t your partner cope? Is there any chance that he will return, that is if you want him to of course, I feel so sad that your partner could not staThere have been a few people here who have tried to belittle others, however, and I am in contact with Sue Ryder to ensure that such bullying doesn’t continue.y and support you at a time which you needed all the support you can get,
Please stick with this group, you will get all the support available. x x x x

Im so sorry to hear about your daughter my son passed away 17 yrs ago at 7 months from a genetic condition but i do understand your pain. Xx my thoughts are with you kev