Ive already got to that stage of oh sod you ! I give up on people i really do !! Its a horrible world ! I dont wanna be part of it anymore !! My mum is really poorly now after losing my husband 18 months ago but shes fighting because shes a strong lady and i love her so much !! And so these feelings of loss and hoplessness are re- surfacing again and im so sad today and just dont see point of it all anymore !! Xx
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Bless you and I totally agree with that it is a very horrible world and good for you actually already been at that stage and I often say the same I do not want to be part of this selfish awful world bless your mam for her fight and it is awful when they are so poorly I lost my mam over 24 year ago she was a fighter but not a day goes by I do not think of her especially needing her after loosing my hubby as you do have them feelings of doom&gloom sending lots love and hugs because of your sadness today Xx
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I think cos its come only 18 months since i lost my husband ā¦ im so overwhelmed with sadness 
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Oh Debs
Thinking of you at this horrible time. It must be hell. But you are there for your Mum coz she needs you. But you are right this world really is full of a lot of crappy people. But there good ones like you out there too. Itās just too few of them. You take care of yourself. Luv and hugs to you and your Mum xx
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Thanks you @lulujones33 im so sad today ā¦ lifes just not fair is it ? And why me ? Why i got all this crap thrown at me ? cant life just gimme a break for once ? Obviously not !!
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Hi @Angel1309 I am 10 months into this horrendous journey. I have pain in my chest every single day, sometimes itās that bad I feel I should go to hospital. I take tablets now for it. Is yours like this?
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Iām so sorry for you, and I totally understand what youāre going through. I lost my darling husband just five months ago and the pain has been excruciating. You try to put a brave face on for family and friends but it is hard to do. Who wants to be with a grieving widow? Trying to make conversation about anything and everything apart from the loss that consumes us. Itās impossible to be out and socialising all the time, so there are many days spent home alone in silence just thinking, remembering, and longing to be able to turn the clock back. I miss my husband so much, we were left and right hand, my loss immeasurable. My heart goes out to all who endure such pain.
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I completely understand how you feel.
I am 2years 7 months into this awful journey since my husband died. I feel more alone than ever, despite my lovely family and friends and their support. I just find that certain friends (couples) are so very insensitive, going on about their days out and holidays and their obvious enjoyment of life. I dont begrudge anyone anything, but what they probably think is a harmless comment can upset me for days. I know I will never again feel such happiness, and I am missing my husband so much.
I am out for Sunday roast with family later, which I will enjoy then itās back to an empty home again. Sorry for rant but am feeling very low today. Thinking of you all.
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I agree Anne, that thing when friends and family go on about events and days out as if they are somehow cheering you! But in reality I guess we canāt muzzle the rest of the world, though inside Iām screaming āshut the f#*ck upāā¦in the style of Ricky Gervais in After Life.
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I know how you feel. No one can fill that gap your partner has left and never will. No amount if family ur friends will replace what you had with your partner. I just hope it gets easier as time goes on and that you can fill your life with happy times.
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Hi @Helen24 Mine is not quite physically but more of a heartbreaking pain Iād say - I am an emotional wreck since my angel passed away, physically I feel fine (touch wood) apart from exhaustion from countless sleepless nights!
If you need tablets for your chest pain I think might help if you go to hospital - please take care of yourself as I am sure he would want you to be well.
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5 months still so raw so please take care and keep sharing as everyone here is going through the same horrible journey and we read, share and support one another always.
I am 14+ months in and still sometime feel like it happened yesterday. For some reasons we seem to keep our mask on when around people then fall apart behind closed doors.
Weirdly, I feel lonely when surrounded by a lot of people but when at home I am able to think and dig deep into myself and feel whatever emotions that consume me and go with the flow - I am comfortable with that and I hope that one day I may be used to the feeling of sadness and the grief and at the same time be able to get on with my (lonely) life till the day I meet him again.
Take care & best wishes everyone x
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The bit i donāt like is that people in couples just donāt understand. I was friends with a lady who had a husband ( not now cos she is really annoying me ) and she just didnāt get it what its like without a husband ! On top of that she was always treating me like a child who didnt know what i was doing ā¦ im not a child im just a widow ! Needless to say im keeping my distance from her now !! X
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Iām sure many of us on this site share your feelings. Itās 2 yrs and 2 mths for me and I still find it unbearable. On the rare occasions I do go out and mix with others I always feel the odd one out, seems everybody else is part of a couple. When people say āhave a nice wkndā, āhappy birthdayā etc I feel like screaming at them before I go home and sit down and stare at an empty sofa. Itās never ending. Also seems to me that people in general think that after 2 yrs I should be over it by now, how little they know.
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Know how you feel lost my wife of 54 years in February this year they all say you are doing great but they donāt see me night Times when Iām on my own,get invited out with friends but feel like the odd one out
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Its horrible isnt it to be the only one not in a couple !! I hate it ā¦ i try to go out with single friends now and definately no big family occasions ā¦cant stand them anymore !
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I always describe it like walking into the place there is the circle and you feel your chair is always placed on the outer edge of that circle and this makes you feel like the odd one out it is an awful position to be in.
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I am 16 mths on this journey and I have finally arrived at a place of peace and acceptance of it all. Do I feel lonely and alone, yes of course, do I feel sad, again yes, however, I allow myself to feel all the emotions that arise but I know it passes. I also realise other people donāt understand or get it but why should they? We didnāt, we can show others understanding and compassion but how can anyone know what it feels like until they have experienced it? Itās our journey not theirās. There will always be insensitive people but we have to either avoid them or let it pass. I am a positive person by nature and I have made some good, solid friendships through all this and I focus on those people. My life has changed and I am adapting to those changes because what is the alternative? I am still here and alive and kicking so only I can make a life that is right for me now, nobody else is responsible for that. I have no family members left on this planet and no children but I am not complaining. I am making new relationships because I canāt change what has happened. Life really is about choices, there is no wrong or right way, no timeframe and we are all individual but what we all do have in common is we are all in the same boat so you have decided how to row that boat
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Admire your positivity Lyn. Iām 18 months in and get some very bad days - today was one of them because I came across some letters my hubby sent to me. The despair was overwhelming, but tomorrow is another day and hopefully something nice will happen. I have no children or family so have to plough on one foot in front of another whilst Iām still here. Wishing you all the best x
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Yes agree, we will all have and continue to have those bad days as they are the measure of the depth and strength of our love for them. Itās like a continuous battle to get through to the good days/moments etc but I believe we have to love ourselves as much as loving them because we are still here. One huge lesson I personally have learnt, is not to rely on anybody for my own happiness. I was so dependant on my husband and never realised just how much until he died. If I want to go on holiday, out for the day I have learnt not to expect others to be there. Itās been a hard slog but I am feeling alive again and hopefully but I now remain in the present, past canāt be undone, future not guaranteed, like you say one foot in front of the other. Wishing you all the best too x
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