Thank you Lyn for your really positive post. I am only 13 weeks in and struggling to see a future without him. Your positivity is much needed and appreciated x
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I think itās so important for those who are recently bereaved and canāt see an end to the heart wrenching rawness and intensity of all the million emotions, to know that there is a life to be loved and lived again and yes you will smile , you will come to an acceptance, all in your own time and when you are ready but you will get there. Millions of people all over the world over thousands of years have survived bereavement. Itās not the end of your life unless you want it to be x
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Hi Deb
Not been on here for a while, so sorry to hear about your mum, hopefully she will get better soon?
Sending you a big hug xx
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Thanks @LynT but i donāt think she will get better 
but hopefully will be with us for a bit yet ??? !!! Im hoping so and she is a little fighter ā¦ its so triggering after seeing what my husband went through only 19 months ago !! But sheās 84 and so she had 24 years more than my husband i suppose gotta think of it like that havent you ? Its just i leaned on her a lot after losing my husband so it makes it hard to bear ā¦ shes in hospital atm but trying to get her home with care in place xx
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Oh Deb, thatās so sad, Iām sorry, I had thought may be it was something treatable as not been on here. I lost my mum 5mths after my hubby so the grief is compounded into one. Life can be so cruel. I hope you get her home and comfortable. Try and take things day by day and look after you xx
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Thanks @LynT thatās so kind of you ā¦did you lose your mum 5 months after you husband ? Oh wow ! You brave lady -
Yeh getting her home is a priority ā¦ she will feel more comfortable then im sure. Bless you. Trying to look after myself thanks love but im obviously really upset ! Shes hanging in there though ! She really is !! xx
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Deb
I didnāt get on with my mum and we hadnāt spoken since my dad died so it didnāt hit me as hard, I was still in shock and grieving for the relationship we never had.
Of course you are upset and itās yet another form of grief and loss, pre-grieving is very real.
Spend as much time with her as you can and thatās all you can do. We are all here if you need us xx
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Thank you 
youre right and im gonna spend as much time as i can yehā¦ Really close to my mum - she helped me so much in my grief journey and listened to me cry for my husband. Bless her ā¦ my father still with us and hes been useless ! Too busy with wife no. 3 !!! Yeh really at 84 !! Couldnt make it up could you !!
She mentioned my husband the other day actually for first time since he passed away and it made me cry ā¦ she thought one of the porters was spit and image of him she said !! With tattoos on his arm ā¦ my husband had a tattoo ! Yeh pre - grieving and bloody went through all this with my husband !! Life is so unfair sometimes !!! Xx
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Big hugs Deb5.sue got me to put things right with my mum after my first wife caused major problems with my mum .so glad i did xx
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Thanks @Martyn2 im really struggling with it ya know. Bloody hell ā¦ all in space of 19 months. Its a bit much and probably even worse this time cos no husband to support me either !! Oh life is so hard sometimes it really is. Thanks for your hug ! I need it ! My kids going nack to being sodding awkward again too ! Bloody hell why dont people just sod off !! I just wish hubby was here ā¦ mum just text so she is still here but very sad and people make it worse in my birth family ! Making it into a big bloody drama - god you couldnt make it up could ya !! Xx
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Hiya Debs
You donāt need all this drama!! WTAF is wrong with people! Is a little bit of compassion too much for them to give? Especially from our kids. I imagine , like me, you expected your kids to support you like we have always done for themā¦but oh noā¦ their attitude seems to be āyou are our Mum so you look after us no matter what else you are having to deal withā. A counsellor told me they may not realise your worth to them until you are deadā. I think I agree with her.
Take care
Xx
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Yeh its awful isnt it that they dont appreciate anything you have done for them ? Dont get this stupid attitude they have ? I blame their bloody schooling and what their teachers told them ?? Or maybe its just society telling them how wonderful they are and never do anything wrong !! Ever !! I dunno ? When you think of all the sleepless nights you had for them, all your money that you spent on them and yet they still donāt appreciate you !! Its truly awful ! But as a wise friend said to me tonight - dont let them grind you down ! And shes right ! Theyre really not worth it ! Xx
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Hi again
Wise friend.
Xx
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Yep she is isnt she xx
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Canāt seem to get to sleep !
Came across your post.
Thank you for your words of wisdom they have helped me and Iām sure others too.
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I sorry you are going through this Debs , yes kids off today are so very different to how we where brought up. My son i have seen twice since Gra passed 6 weeks on Sunday, my daughter a little more but even she isnt as supportive as ivthought she would be. I have 2 brothers and a sister i have seen one brother once another not at all. You would never believe my sister lives opposite me. I have been to hers 5 tines for a cuppa. I have no close friends so i spend hrs days alone and crying. Xxx
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The sad truth is that weāre all on our own really which is something Iāve found out since losing my dearest husband just over 2 yrs ago. My husband used to say that my son would always look after me and I would jokingly say that he would when he remembered. He has helped me enormously with all the paper work, the legal stuff, banking etc but he and his wife have a very busy life of their own. They have their own family, busy jobs often working away from home, recent ill health etc. I donāt have any friends nearby having lived all over the place for many years and I live in a pretty isolated spot. Like you I spend days and days sitting alone feeling so sad that my husband doesnāt get to do all the things he still wanted to do. I just try to think that it just has to get better. Take care.
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Yeh know how ypu feel ā¦ its jusr so crap without them isnāt it ? Nothing is the same and everything seems so pointless ā¦ xx
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People just not got any compassion anymore ! They just dont care what we are going through. Heve same trouble with my family ! Nobody reaches out they just leave you to get on with it ! Truly awful people they are these days ! My mum who was my big support is poorly in hospital and so feel even worse than ever ! Oh life ! Whats the flipping point of it !! Thsts how i feel anyway atm. Xx
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I understand you both my family donāt bother anyway. I struggle esch day alone.i ask myself the question whats the pointxxx
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