Yep its awful isnt it. Take care and i hope things get better for us ? But life is just one big struggle far as i can see … xx
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I agree how the hell do we come back from thid. You take too xxx
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I used to have online food delivered when I worked and was carer for my husband but I cancelled it after he had died because I had time and needed to make new contacts. I smile and people usually respond have a few words and it breaks up the day.,I’ve met old colleagues and now meet for lunch. Think we have to be proactive in rebuilding our lives.
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You could be right Cooki but uts harder for me with been agrophobic. I only go out in my own area. Xxx
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Sorry to hear that. Have you had any help with the acrophobia?
I totally agree xx
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I have been like this for 40 years it started after the birth of my son.i have tried alsortscfrom hupnoises to behaviour therapy. But nothing as worked.xxx
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Hi
I know exactly how you feel as will others.
I’ve logged in today and the first post I see is yours and it’s exactly why I’m on the site.
It will be 2yrs end if August for me and I miss him every moment of every day but I’m not sure how many of my friends and family, who are so loving and caring, truly understand the depths of it.
It colours every decision I make, even making myself a cuppa and not my Mart.
I’m trying so hard to hold myself together each day, it’s exhausting and there are times I think why! And then I remember what he would want for me and I hang on for grim death to that.!
I’m trying to plan out an area in our garden and just need his input, his view, his voice to give me some guidance and all I come up with is “anything you want is ok with me” but today that’s not enough!
I wish I could give you something to help and all I have to offer is understanding and a virtual hug 
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Your post really hit home with me. After almost 52 yrs of marriage I’m so used to us deciding things together and now making decisions on my own seems so difficult. I find myself asking all the time what would my dearest husband have done and then if I don’t come up with an answer I start wondering why don’t I know, didn’t I take enough time to understand his points of view and it just goes on and on.
My sister lost her husband 6 mths ago and now she repeatedly says that she had no idea how totally devastating it is and how nobody could possibly understand unless they go through it themselves. People just aren’t able to know how difficult it is however sympathetic they might feel. I think that’s why this site is so good because the people who use it are all going through the same thing. Even though people are affected differently we’re all starting from the same point.
Take care, it’s so hard but we will all get to a better place eventually although I think we’ll never be the same person again.
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Yes it’s the making decisions I’m finding hard, but like you, I think what would he do !
It will be 10 months next week so it’s quite difficult one day to the next.
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No one has the words to explain what it feels like it just something you have to experience for yourself if you’re lucky enough to find someone so special to you.
Take care
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Hi , I do know how you feel , I lost my husband 22 months ago , it’s the loneliness and quiet I carnt deal with , I have family but as you say they have their own life . The problem I have is it was just my husband and myself we worked together. It’s just finding a place to go as a one not a couple anymore finding a friend to share and talk to
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Please don’t apologise for sharing how you feel - it’s only been 2½ months since my husband died but I have certainly learned in that short time that there are no right or wrong ways of dealing with this.
I have experienced death before - my dad died when I was 6 and I lost a very close friend when she was 36. Then there’s been the loss of older relatives, including my mother, the tragedy of suicides and even the heartbreak of losing beloved pets. But (as Sinéad O’Connor ALMOST sang), nothing compares to this!
As I said, it’s been almost 3 months since my best friend, life partner and husband left my side and today, I haven’t even been able to get dressed or even leave the bedroom for that matter. It’s almost 5pm and I haven’t eaten yet. It’s not a great way to be but there is no right or wrong way. I miss him being belief; the size of the hole left behind by him is unfillable and my grief matches that.
I have started to do things on my own, because this is my life now. Next week, I am going to the theatre on my own for the first time and I have to do the shopping on my own or nothing will be in the house and the cats would starve to death (I don’t want them living on birds and rodents). But today, I’m struggling at home alone.
I AM going to get up, get dressed and go for some food - whether that’s to the shop or the pub is yet to be determined but I need to keep going, no matter how difficult it is.
I think I’m waffling now, so I’ll shut up and go and do what I said I was going to.
Strength to you all!
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I’m a year into loosing my wife, and I agree with you. Everything is so hard, all the simple decisions that we shared and the simple times we spent together, in the evenings, just quietly pottering about. Having someone to talk to about the inconsequential stuff. Having company. It’s the evenings and weekends that are the hardest, as everyone else has a family to be with, or other stuff to do. I have adult children who I don’t want to burden with this stuff.
Losing your soul mate is hard, and unless you have gone through it, noone understands how all the little things become so difficult.
The only advice I can give is to keep trying, keep going through the motions, and hopefully someday things will become a little easier.
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Know how you feel been 6 months since I lost my wife of 54 years things don’t gat ant easier trying to keep busy which is not hard what with the shopping house work garden 2 cats which miss her as much as me night time is the worse when sitting alone
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Its so bloody hard the days are so long the nights are so lonely. I am 8 weeks in this horrendous journey. I hate the empty house i hate been slone. I have never felt so horrendous pain. Xxx
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I can sympathise with you all.i lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue on 1st February last year and the days just seem to be so long now.my daughter and stepson dave plus family are really supportive but I want more than ever my wife back. Going to ask for more counselling as I feel so lost and alone without sue. Sorry for the rant
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Its not a rant its how you are feeling , its good you have your family mine well the less said the better. But that doesn’t stop us wanting our partners back, mine is only just over 8 weeks ago but omg it seems ages ago since I last heard his voice held his hand. I am waiting to hear about counseling . Hugs Jo xx
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Same with my family @jevncute … they been bloody awful since the funeral 18 months ago …talk about lack of empathy … oh wow xx
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Bless you Debs I always rhought my family would be there for me. But no . I feel very lost and lonely .hugs Jo xxc
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