@Firefly72 I feel your pain and anguish- it will be 9 weeks tonight that my hubby took his last breath. Awful awful night… I lost a stone in weight in first few weeks- simply no appetite. Im eating slightly better now, havent had a decent night sleep- dont take medications- personal choice- had a few whiskys though !!
now I want to make an effort to get strong- mentally and physically- I know thats what my hubby would want me to do- so I will do for him- small steps thats all I can do.
Im still not sure about work- like you, I would continue to work from home- not sure if that is good or bad- trapped behind a laptop gazing out. or lots of meetings where I just cant contribute!
I too live in a village and we walked the dog together every evening- it feels strange and painful not to do alone.I also appear to be avoided people- you say hello- and then it at time feels awkward. I have had a few people stop to ask how I am doing- not sure what response to give… not sure folk are ready for my true response of feeling broken !
Had a few whiskeys as well try to get me through and I understand don’t want to talk to anybody I take my dog out put head down and keep on walking lv annie x
it was my hubbys drink- so I feel a pull towards the odd whisky every now and then. it is calming.
I have a strong feeling that I dont now want to be known as the young (ish) widow- I still am a human being and a lot to give, offer the world. But I dont have the capacity at the moment.
I have to listen to the inner voices and my gut- he would want me to hold head and go forth… so bloody hard thought isnt it…
I keep saying to myself he is either out playing golf or away with work- its how I am coping with each day
Xmas is a bad time my husband loved Xmas he died 5weeks before Xmas and it was hard don’t no how I got through it just kept thinking of him he loved Xmas so granddaughter put his tree up my second Xmas this year without him it’s never going to be the same coming up to his first memory November 11th dreading it take care annie x x
My heart goes out to you all I list the love of my life 16 weeks ago, when I go out and come home I think Peter will be there it breaks my heart, I’m broken inside and don’t think I will ever recover how can I when my life is empty and the grieving is draining every single day .
Me too,exactly how I feel everyday,broken,empty,incomplete and yes the grieving does drain you,it is so exhausting,crying helps for a while,I even howl and yell for her.Judith was my everything,my world,my future,stolen by the evil cancer.Michael.
It’s horrible Michael were left with this hollow feeling every day, my name is David by the way, we did everything together and now Peter has gone I sometimes think I’m stuck in a bad nightmare but then I realise it’s not and I cry , cry,cry it wears me out I see my doctor every 3 weeks and go to a bereavement council called Maggies I talk to people there it helps but I just want the love of my life back and it can’t happen and my heart is broken into pieces.
Mt too,broken ,empty,worthless,cry cry scream her name all day long not fair to lose the one you love.David I am with you on this terrible journey.Life will never be the same .I want her back as well ,if only,I would give anything to hold her again in my arms.Michael.
I would give everything I have to have Peter back we had so many good times holidays, Theatre trips, we both loved cats , when I go to bed at night I wish I didn’t have to wake up again and start the grieving all over again it’s just endless as I’m sure you know.
I am the same ,would like to go to sleep and not wake up again but it is not that easy,the pain of grieving is like I have never had before.Miss her so much,nothing matters anymore.Michael.
The pain inside is like nothing I have ever suffered from before it just pulls you apart inside, I try my best to move forward but find it impossible how can I let go and move on it feels like betraying, I’m stuck and it drives me crazy.