After my pathetic failure at opening sodding bifold doors yesterday……….
My son suggested taking his sister out for breakfast, and that I go with them. I was about to say that I would prefer to stay in on my own, but I took a deep breath and went with them. I quite enjoyed the change of scenery. I have been a hermit since Jeremy died.
I told my son about my struggle with the conservatory doors, he said he would look at them when we got home. I couldn’t believe it when the door opened perfectly. Wtf is all that about?
Glad some of you have triumphed. Onwards and upwards! Xx
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You can do it @Liro
I have faith in you - and if you do cry a little or a lot that’s ok. You are going so that’s the win 
xxx
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Hi all. I try and keep busy but the last couple of weeks have been so hard. It was my first wedding anniversary without Craig (2024 is going to be a year of firsts!) and since then I’ve been so tearful. I was supposed to meet up with some ladies from the WAY UP group yesterday but bailed as I couldnt face it. Today I was asked to go to a music festival with neighbours but again pulled out at the last minute. I feel so lonely too as Craig was my best friend and we spent all of out time together but I know I need to make a new life but I just cant motivate myself to do this.
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Hiya all my challenge today is i have been invited to my daughters for tea. As i have said before i suffer agrophobia and panic attacks. They live about a 10 min drive from me. Also i am getting a puppy tonight. My nephew and is girlfriend are picking her up for me. She is a yorkshire terrier crossed with tutui or sommit like that she is 12 weeks old. I lost my other dog a week today and in a ideal world i wouldn’t have thought about another dog yet . But theres nothing normal anymore. Xxx
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Hey, that’s great news! Well done! A bit of company for tea and a new puppy.
I thought about getting a dog or a cat, but it doesn’t really fit in with other stuff, like looking after Katie.
Looking forward to hearing all about it.
Xx
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I will keep you posted , i just need something to try and help me. I have had a cat before but they aint faithful like a dog. I remember Smokey mine was called he was all the neighbours cat . Knew were to come for his food though. Even brought his girlfriend for dinner .xxxx
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How exciting for you, a new pup! Will you manage to walk it? I don’t envy you the training, but good luck and I’m sure you’ll give each other lots of love and companionship.
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Yes i can go round what we call the block. She is only small socwont need alot of exercise. Yes training a pup is going to be hard just hoping it helps a little with the grief xx
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How exciting! Well done for being proactive and trying your hardest to get through this. What’s your daughter making for tea?
Will you share a picture of your puppy? 
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Chicken dinner i am just not hungry but i will try. Yes if course xxxx
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Oh lovely could just eat a roast! Yes give to a go, your hungry may kick in once you start. Xx
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My challenge this weekend was to attend a house party. A late lunch for 12, followed by an outdoor party in the evening with lots more people. I managed the first part, then after 6 hours I popped home to see to my dog. I realised that I’d had enough and couldn’t face any more of trying to be normal and pretending to enjoy myself. So I didn’t go back.
I’ve now decided to stay by myself for a while, not at home because I like to be outside, but not to purposely interact like everything is normal. Because it’s not any more.
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You’ve done amazing. I don’t think I would manage that for so long.
It is hard to keep up that front that everything is ok. But I find that people do t really want to think about grief and bereavement.
I was at my nephews wedding a couple of weeks ago which was so hard. Had my kids around which helped but I just suddenly couldn’t bear it any more and had to leave.
Followed soon after by my kids who felt the same.
In retrospect it was maybe too soon but we tried and like you I’m now a bit more reluctant to go to large gatherings.
I hope it will get easier with time. Xx
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It’s a strange, overwhelming feeling, isn’t it, when you have to suddenly go?
I think the trigger was when I spoke to a guest there who I hadn’t met before. She didn’t know about Steve, obviously, and presumed something about me being in a relationship. I couldn’t put her straight.
Next weekend his band are playing and they’ve asked me to go again. I can’t. I don’t want to go out any more, being the single person amongst groups, and I don’t need the unwanted attention, either.
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You’re right - it is the weirdest thing. I’ve never felt that way before - I was doing ok, and then I just wasn’t.
No real trigger - had just danced a gay gorden with my son so maybe that was it.
But I have never been in a situation before where I couldn’t keep it together in front of my kids.
I think we just have to do what’s right for us at the moment.
If somethings just too much then we just have to be honest and avoid it for the moment.
My husbands cousin was amazing when he was in the hospice, and he visited every day and kept us both going. But since he died I’ve only seen him once - mainly as he works away over the summer, - but he just can’t seem to understand that I can’t manage going out for drinks or for lunch. He and his partner seemed genuinely surprised that I wasn’t doing ok when they popped in the other day.
Sending a huge hug xx
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Well I did it.
I went to the picnic, which was indoors because it was a bit overcast and chilly.
I had a few tears but on the whole I was fine. But I didn’t enjoy it and wished I hadn’t gone. Everybody was really nice, but I just felt so alone.
But I did it. It will be a while before I do anything like that again though.
I think I just want to be at home now.
X x
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Fantastic @Liro
You did it so you now know you can. Even though you didn’t enjoy it which is completely understandable, you showed great strength and resilience.
It’s ok for you to want to stay at home for a while. I feel that way a lot too and just can’t really be myself around lots of people.
But you should be proud of yourself. 
xx
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Thankyou @roni52
I’m glad I went.
I just seem to be happiest at home now. I feel safe here.
A few weeks ago I didn’t want to be here but I suddenly found that this is where I want to be. Here at home, our home.
Sending big hugs x x
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Looks like everyone met the challenge. Even if all it did was make us more content to be alone, where being alone felt like hell before we ventured forth.
I still find weekends difficult though.
Ok, fellow warriors, what shall we all do next weekend?
Xx