How does anyone survive this pain. My husband died very suddenly 8 days ago. It happened in our bed - and now I have to sleep in the same place that he died. I miss him so much it is utterly unbearable. We did everything together and he was my rock. I am just lost.
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Just take each day as it comes. And if you want to cry, then do so. Doesnt matter where you are. I didnt go out on my own for weeks, hated going shopping, even now after 4 months. We are all here for each other, so just let it all out on here. Hang in there , and talk to family as much as you can. Sending hugs. Xx
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Thank you. I am just so lost. His funeral is on Friday and I am just dreading it. A future without him is something I cannot imagine. He was only 57 and we were so looking forward to his retirement in a couple of years. All our plans, hopes and dreams are gone. Part of me is missing.
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Hi l cry for your loss l have been told thing do get better l am 10 months in since my Sandie passed & don’t try to fight the tears don’t try to understand why as the feeling you have are normal…… grief hurt blame loss alone it’s all there & doesn’t go away just take it one day at at time 
I cry now and often l only live for my daughters sake as without her l would not be here now just grieve let it all out shout scream cry l have no comfort other than l can listen to your pain & understand what hell you like others are going through 
We truly do know what you are going through. The day of Tom’s funeral was the worst day of my life. It became real then. But dont try to understand why, or try to work it out. None of it will make sense. I found I was sleeping most of the time during the day, which is a part of grief. If you dont want to do anything, then dont. Just o e bad day to get through then you can grieve as much as you need. I still talk to Tom, and tell him things that are happening, just do it how you like. It didnt help when people told me to remember the good times, as that made it a lot worse. Knowing that I wouldnt have that again. Have you got family around you, couldnt have done it without mine. Hope they are holding you and listening when you need to talk. Xxxxx
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Good evening everyone, just to wish you all a peaceful night. Thinking of all of us who are having anxiety and stress, and sending big hugs to you all. Hope tomorrow brings a little peace even if its just for an hour . Lots of love xxx
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Thanks for your words and Good wishes Anne.
Unfortunately I’m sat up in bed unable to sleep again. Tormented and distressed at all the thoughts going through my head. It’s only been 3 months since Dianne passed away but I can’t see any future now without her.
I’m in Majorca and tomorrow I am going to the beach in front of the hotel where we had our honeymoon 38 years ago to spread some ashes. my eldest daughter is going to be with me. I’m dreading it and know I will be in tears for hours after.
There’s a continuous tight knot in my chest that won’t go away and my racing mind won’t let me sleep or rest day or night. I know I need help to get through this time in my life but I’m not sure where to turn.
I have a flight home on Sunday and can’t wait, I don’t want to be here a minute longer. I just need to do what I came here for and leave. This was our dream holiday home we bought on Our dream island for our retirement. I’ve put it up for sale The sooner it’s gone the better.
Take care all of you suffering with the grief. None of us deserve to be going through this.
Gary
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My thoughts are with you Gary. Maybe you should try counseling again. It’s worth a try. I know your wife would want you to go through this. Maybe it was a bit early to scatter her ashes. I am going to wait at least a year before I decide what to do, cant even think about doing it yet. It’s not too late to change your mind. Hugs and thoughts are with you. xxxx
I mean she would not want you to go through this. Sorry. Xxx
Thanks Nenny for your reply.
I’m only scattering a small amount of ashes. The main ashes are being spread at the crematorium in two weeks. I’ve ordered a memorial plaque. I wanted somewhere to visit and be able to take flowers and sit and talk to her.
Take care and best wishes
Gary x
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Guys l don’t know about you & Gary l feel your pain m8 but as long as l have my Sandies ashes here at home in pride of place in a lovely silver dove she will be with me till my time comes then my wishes are to be cremated & placed in another dove urn & we are both buried together under a marble bench with our names on a plaque on the bench & we will be together forever.
I could not bare to be parted from her & speak to her even though l cry out for some or any response which will not come’ nothing will bring our loved ones back & l cannot bare to even play a video of our good times together it’s been ten months & things are still so raw hang in there Gary the road is long & will take along time for the hurt to heal if ever x
Thinking of you all
Tony
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Dear Gary , reading your e -mail described exactly how I feel every day . My darling David died in Feb and it still feels so surreal I still have a physical pain and cry for him every day . Grief and pain is so hard to bear ,I tried counselling but it just left me distressed . How do others cope I wish I knew ,I wish the words of comfort others give would help me and you . I’m told to remember the memories ,every day of my marriage was filled with love and joy, and now there is nothing . I do hope you will find comfort somewhere ,I feel for you .
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I lost my partner Tony at the end of February 2 days before my 60th birthday , I’m
Having counseling I also go on a bereavement walk with other ladies and men weekly who are in the same position as all of us , I try to keep busy I do
Puzzles, puzzle books I read and I talk about Tony and to Tony every day but nothing takes away the pain, It’s just awful but I try to carry on as we all do , I feel more lonely now than I did when I first lost him so I know how you feel , let’s hope for some new TV programs and anything that can help us thru
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Hi Debbie.
I’m sorry for your loss. How did you meet the people to on the walks with. Was it a bereavement group?
Take care
Gary
Yes it was thru the council
There was no one to
One available so I was invited to join the walk , I have made friends with people whom
Have shared losses not all
Partners but mostly partners , we have lunch weekly and share messages and talk not only about our losses but life in general, it helps but nothing takes the pain away
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Hi debbie and gary.
Like you I’m struggling at the moment I lost my husband Gerry in January he was my world we were married for 53 years. I joined a bereavement group because there was nothing else for me. It was my 1st week last Friday, I was so nervous, but I’m going to try again to see how it goes. I’ve totally lost my confidence, it’s so hard. Love to you both
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Hi Anne , so sorry for you as I know how hard it is, keep with the group I have found I mix better with some people in the group than others as I am sure you will find , it’s an outlet for me and I find it helps as I tell them feelings and things I couldn’t tell my family , I also write my feeling down and find this helps xx
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I had a breakdown in work been off twelve weeks going back in next week dreading it the only thing keeping me going is my daughter & grandson.
My daughter says she wants her dad back maybe going back to work will help who knows but things don’t get easier and l am told you must think of the good times which to me are my nightmares as l cannot control the tears, l just hate life at the moment thinking of you all good luck with your grief as l haven’t found any thing good to look forward since sandies had past in November last year
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Hi Debbie,
Yes I think your right, cant judge just after one visit. Hope my nerves are a bit better this week, will let you know how I get on and to let others in the group now if it helps . We all need help.
Good luck to you Lotr for next week. Let us know how you get on too. Big hugs to all xx
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Thx Anne x
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